He chuckled. “There’s nothing fancy—it’s a lake resort town. There’ll be pizza places and bars and grills. We’ll go someplace fun to celebrate our last night here.”
“Okay.” The faint churning in my belly was back. Last night with Flynn. Did it bother him, too?
The cabin was his, though. He could come back anytime he wanted…with anyone he wanted. I worried my lower lip. Wow. That thought fed the acid boiling in my stomach.
“Tilly, what’s wrong?”
He stood in front of me like a wall and his voice was full of concern—for me. How long had I wanted someone to care about me? And Flynn genuinely seemed to. When I went back home and spent my nights alone, at least I’d have that.
I answered with honesty, but not full disclosure. “I’m sad my vacation’s coming to an end.”
His eyes dimmed. “Yeah, me too. I needed it.”
“Maybe we can do it again sometime.” My tone was light, joking, but the words fell hard between us.
“Maybe.” We said nothing for a moment and I shifted my feet. He wasn’t looking for a wife and I wasn’t looking for a husband, but the silence made me feel like I’d asked for a lifetime commitment.
He dug in my bundle of clothing and withdrew a gauzy blue top. “Wear this. It brings out your eyes.” He tossed it on the bed, went back to my clothing, and snagged a pair of white shorts. “And this because they make your legs look a mile long and I want to peel them off you.”
I giggled as I shoved the rest of my armload in the suitcase. “That’s, like, the plainest outfit I’ve ever worn. If I see one of my students, it’ll be like I’m Clark Kent with the glasses. They won’t recognize me. They’d be so disappointed if they saw me this week.”
An odd expression swept through his features. “You dress up for them?”
I shrugged. “It’s fun.”
“What was your excuse in high school?” His question sounded like a joke, but all humor drained from me.
I snapped the shorts from his hands. “I wore what I had available.”
Stepping around him, I went to the bed and picked up my shirt. Wacky clothes plus jaw wired shut plus social awkwardness equaled Crazy J. I refused to apologize for being myself. And Flynn—
“Tilly, I was kidding.”
I spun, holding my shirt and shorts close to my chest. A part of me argued to keep my mouth shut, but I never listened, not even when it’d earned me a broken jaw. “You were. But here’s the thing. I’m still Crazy J.” I’d started to hate that name almost as much as Tulip. “I can’t change how I dressed then, or how I acted, and since I’m standing here, a survivor of my childhood, I don’t want to.” Stop talking! “I liked you a lot, that was no secret. But you were one of the few guys I never caught laughing at me. You even helped when the mean girls ganged up. You seemed to not mind how I was. So I’m a little hurt to find out that I was a freak to you, too.”
He stared at me for a second. “What exactly happened when you were a kid?”
“I don’t want to talk—”
“I know, but you’ve told me enough that I can deduce what went on.” He folded his arms and sat on the edge of the bed. “I’d like to hear it from you.”
“Why? After tomorrow, are we going to talk again?” My frustrations from the week welled and I let them roll off my tongue. “Are we going to hook up or are you going to take me out?” I laughed and brushed a strand of hair behind my ear, his gaze tracking the move. “I can see it now. You in your suit and expensive truck, taking me out after Wacky Monday at school.”
“Wacky Monday?” Understanding dawned and he nodded. “That was why you were—”
“And the rest of the week isn’t much better. The kids love it and I do, too. I quit caring about what people thought of me when it was obvious they didn’t care about me in the first place. Unless I have some pretentious bitch as a client who won’t pay me unless I dress to the lowest of her standards, then I dress how I want and fuck what others think.”
“That’s freedom not all of us have,” he muttered. I was about to ask him what he meant when he kept going, his voice low. “Why’d you drop out of school, Tilly? Why’d you change your name? Why did you bid such a specific amount?”
I stomped to my luggage and dropped my items on top. Going out for dinner was no longer appealing. Tears burned the backs of my eyes because the thing was, I wanted to tell him. I wanted him to care about me, but he didn’t. He was only asking for the story, and I had no idea why.
If I let my past spill out, maybe I could just pretend that Flynn cared, that the emotions I unleashed wouldn’t scare him off. If they did, then he wasn’t the guy for me. An easy platitude, but after the last week with him, I couldn’t imagine another man in my life. “My dad was abusive and my mom was passive and afraid of losing him. When he’d rage, she wouldn’t step in. After each episode, her depression got worse until she quit buying groceries, quit buying food. Clothes shopping? Forget it. I pilfered money from both of them and when I got caught…” I paused to gulp because I’d never admitted this to anyone. “Well, I might’ve talked funny with my jaw wired shut, but it was harder to talk with a broken jaw.”
Color leeched from Flynn’s face, but I continued. “I should’ve left home after that, but Mom stepped in to care for me. I
