Titus stood and stumbled behind me before getting his feet under him. He threw his napkin toward the table and it landed on his chair instead. When we got out the sliding glass door, he took over and walked me to the side of the house, where my mom had placed a concrete bench under a giant sycamore tree that dropped sharp round balls half the year. He used the sleeve of his blue Henley to clear the bench and waved for me to have a seat. We both sat down, snuggled tightly together. Either this bench had gotten smaller or we’d gotten bigger. I was willing to guess it was all Titus and those broad, muscled shoulders.
He nudged me. “Sure you’re okay with me being here?”
I sighed, from both my family’s behavior and the fact that butterflies instantly took flight at his simple touch. All the signs were there: increased heart rate, blushing, that rising wave of desire deep in my belly, the jealousy that ate away at me from my sister’s flirting.
I liked Titus Jackson.
Titus slid his palm against mine, tangling our fingers together. “Lia, I want to do this thing right. I’ve spent a lot of time with your family and I know your dad may not like me much, but I think even if he didn’t give me the evil eye all the time, I’d still want to take things slow and do it right. I want to date you, Amelia. For real.”
His blue eyes held a seriousness not often seen on his face. My Titus came by his laugh lines honestly. I’d stared at him many times over the years. I’d seen his jaw change shape and grow stubble as he hit puberty. Fine lines had fanned out from the corners of his eyes as he got older. His face was familiar and looked brand new as I stared at him now. I felt like I’d had foggy glasses covering my eyes until today. The things the girls had said to me took off the glasses and left me with twenty-twenty vision.
“I’d like that too, T, I’m just a little nervous, I guess.” I squeezed his hand and watched his eyes clear, felt his joy spread across his face like it was my own.
He turned toward me, his other hand joining in to squeeze me tight. “What’s got you worried? Whatever it is, let’s talk it out.”
I loved how much he wanted to know what was going on inside my head. It was a dangerous place and most people didn’t want to go there. “I just don’t want to ruin our friendship. You’re my very best friend, and as dramatic as it sounds, I don’t know if I could go on without you in that role. I don’t like to depend on anyone ever, and yet I find myself needing you.”
Titus let go of my hands and pulled me into his chest, his arms wrapped around me tight. I could hear his heart thumping below my ear as I laid my head on his chest. His rough voice drifted over my head. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
I didn’t do nice. And that scared me. I wasn’t usually a nice person, and I just swore to myself not to get wrapped up in a man again. Here I was doing both. I pushed against his chest and untangled myself despite how nice it felt in his arms.
“No, I’m being serious. I have dreams I want to achieve in life, and it’s come to my attention today that I have some growing up to do. I can’t do that if I’m tied down to someone. What if we try dating and then I feel smothered, so I inevitably break up with you and then you hate me and then we can’t ever be friends again?”
Titus’s eyebrows drew together. “Whoa. Slow down there, speedy. First of all, I have no intention of tying you down—well, unless you ask me to.” He winked at me and I bit my lips to keep from smiling. “And secondly, I have dreams too. That’s the whole point of dating. We can grow together, side by side.”
I started bouncing my knee up and down, debating what to do. My heart wanted me to throw caution to the wind and say yes already. Hell, my lady parts were already putty in Titus’s capable hands. But there was one tiny little part of me that remained afraid. Scared Amelia didn’t know what to choose.
Titus let out a quick breath and cupped my face, his callouses scraping gently along my cheekbones. “Lia. Listen to me. I’m not like Daire who wanted to mold you into whatever woman he happened to want that day for his own purpose. I want you, Amelia Waldo. And every single future version of you. Grow right next to me.”
My eyes started burning again and I had to blink rapidly to hold it together. The icy exterior of my heart began to melt under his gaze, no match for the steady heat of Titus on a mission. I sucked in a deep breath, and while staring into his intent eyes, I replied in the smallest of voices. “That sounds really nice.”
Titus didn’t move at first, just scanned my face to make sure I spoke the truth. He would know. He could tell when I told a lie more than my dad, the chief of police who was professionally trained to spot a liar. When he’d seen the bald truth I didn’t let anyone else see, he closed the distance, sealing his lips to mine in a sweet kiss that just kept melting that ice.
My heart felt like it wanted out of my chest, which was damn inconvenient. I thought they said this lovey-dovey stuff felt good. Bunch of freaking liars. This felt like delicious pain. Like the real me, the pale version who hid behind tough words
