I’d never have her in the ways I wanted, but I loved her enough to want to see her happy.
4
Amelia
It was amazing what a week could do to a person. And regularly washing my hair. Something about clean roots and a face full of makeup made me feel like I could conquer the world. All that and sobering up for a full seven days. My poor liver had been working double time the last year while dating Douchebag. Oh yeah, I’d quit using the name Daire and inserted Douchebag. Seemed appropriate.
When I truly had my life together, I was considering writing a book. All the teeny tiny warning signs us girls ignore when a hot guy pays us any attention. It would be a bestseller and there’d be a ton of guys with breakup texts for being douchebags. I could see it now.
I grabbed my keys and headed out the door, breezing through the lobby and saying good morning to my staff. Today was my only true day off and I had plans. Mama was getting a new tattoo. Not my actual mother. Me. I’d done some heavy thinking the last week and I’d come to a conclusion about my life. The breakup with Douchebag brought me to a fork in the road of my life. I made the hard decision to take the high road and get my life back on track. While a fork could have been my symbolic tattoo, I thought it might imply I was a foodie, which I totally wasn’t. I was a drinkie. My liver could attest. So, I decided to get a tattoo of a phoenix. Rebirth, baby. Watch this motherfucker rise from the ashes.
“Lia,” a voice called out the second I stepped out the front door of the hotel.
My head popped up and I spotted Titus climbing out of his truck in the parking lot. Titus. While I was busy rebirthing, which was a lot more messy psychologically than actual birth I’ll have you know, I’d spared quite a few thoughts about Titus. That fork in the road I talked about? Titus was standing on that high road, one of the major reasons I’d chosen that road. I missed him.
I rushed over, barreling into him for a hug, surprising him based on the “oof” that escaped on impact. “T! I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Uh…thanks. Me too.” Pulling back, I could see him scratching the side of his head, like he wasn’t sure what to say.
“Whatcha doin’ here?” He looked like he was ready to go to work, the branded T-shirt that made his biceps pop, the jeans and work boots said he knew what to do with his hands. I’d seen him in this outfit a thousand times over the years, but I saw him with new eyes today. He’d built a solid business without a degree, just hard work and dedication to his craft. I was proud of him and I didn’t think I’d ever told him that.
“Oh.” He reached back into the cab of the truck and came out with a coffee in his hand. “I don’t have a job until later today, so I thought I’d bring you coffee and see how you’re doing.”
I looked at the coffee cup he extended to me, slightly breathless. “You brought me coffee?”
Titus looked away before making eye contact again. “Yeah. Mocha with no whip but extra drizzle, right? Or did that change?”
He remembered. I hadn’t ordered a coffee in front of him for over a year and he remembered my drink?
I took the cup with a quick nod and also gave him another hug. In thanks, sure, but also to hide the fact my eyes were burning again. What the hell was going on with my eyes recently? Allergies? Rare ocular cancer? I’d have to get them checked soon. This burning sensation was a pain in the ass. Or pain in the eyeball, I guess you could say.
“I’m headed to get a tattoo. Want to come with me?” I asked against his chest, the invitation slipping out before I thought it through. “I mean, I doubt you want to spend a morning off at a tattoo shop…”
“Yeah, let’s do it,” Titus answered, his chest beating loudly beneath my ear.
I pulled away and smiled up at him. My morning was getting better by the second. “My car?” I asked.
“Nah. Hop in.” He helped me into his truck and I scooted across the bench seat to the passenger side. His truck smelled like him. Wood, cologne, and something that could only be described as man-smell. It was delicious.
We chatted the whole way to Moss Landing where my tattoo artist waited for me. Our conversation felt like old times again. I couldn’t believe I’d gone a whole year without this easy banter between two friends who knew each other inside and out.
As we pulled into the parking lot next to the tattoo shop, I said quietly, “You don’t have to check on me, you know. I’m going to be okay.”
Titus put the truck in park and shut off the engine before answering. “I know that, but I’ve always checked on you, Lia. Kind of hard to stop the habit now.”
A warm glow that had nothing to do with the hot coffee hit my chest. “Like when I fell off my skateboard trying to do a hospital flip?”
Titus smirked. “Little did you know it would necessitate a real hospital trip to set your finger and get the gravel out of your knee.”
I smiled at the memory, even though at the time, it was fucking painful. “You brought me my homework for three days straight so I wouldn’t get behind.”
Titus shrugged. “It’s what friends do.”
I nodded, finding his slightly pink cheeks fascinating. And the way he wouldn’t look at me, just staring out the windshield at an empty parking lot. “Or when Jack dumped me junior year the day before prom and you ditched your girlfriend to
