“Do you really trust him? I mean… if Gabriel learns what we are plotting, you know what will happen. So we have to keep everything quiet.”
“I trust Trent,” I say. “He wouldn’t rat us out.”
“All right then.” Amy smiles. “We’ll have to leave before the next Terror Race. I think we probably have a couple of months. So we must recover, then steal some food and weapons. Maybe a gun or a knife.”
I listen to Amy, my thoughts racing. Should we really escape? Should we try to reach Bastion or find Jingfay? Gabriel will kill us if we’re caught.
“I’ll go talk to Dennis and Sandro,” Amy announces, heading toward the door.
“I’ll go find Trent,” I say.
***
Trent isn’t in his room, so I walk outside to look. Samantha sits on the grass beside a tree, her face wet from tears. I know I should ignore her. She was bullying and abusing me for a long time. When I think of her throwing stones and calling me a puke, I feel angry. But now my anger gives way to sympathy because Samantha looks too broken and lonely to hate.
“Are you all right?” I ask quietly.
Samantha looks up at me. “No… I hate myself.”
I don’t know how to answer.
“Why did you do it?” she asks, wiping her eyes. “Why did you help me? I was so mean and rude to you, and you still rescued me…”
Her voice breaks. She shudders, covering her face. I sit on the grass beside her. I have no idea why I helped Samantha and don’t know what to say. I mean… she is probably my worst enemy and we hate each other. But back at the caverns none of that mattered much. We were stuck in the same boat, fighting for our lives. I just don’t know.
“I’m so sorry,” Samantha sobs. “I’m such a loser! I hate myself. I can barely look at myself in the mirror without feeling disgusted. I’ve done so many things wrong in my life.”
I look at her, astounded, feeling like I’m speaking to myself. I hadn’t expected a reaction like this from Samantha. She has always seemed extremely arrogant and mean until now.
“I’ve never really hated you,” she confesses, averting her eyes. “But the other factory girls said they’d disown me if I didn’t follow along. They wanted me to insult and hurt you. And I realized it was wrong. I knew I shouldn’t have done those things. But I went along because I was scared. I was afraid they’d laugh and make fun of me if I didn’t. And I… I just wanted to belong… wanted to have friends.” She gasps, sniffling and shivering. “I feel rotten and nasty. I’m so ashamed.”
I take a breath, my eyes tearing, and touch her hand. “It’s all right. I’m not angry with you.”
Samantha turns to face me. Her eyes widen.
“You… forgive me?” she asks.
I have to think. Can I really forgive her after all the humiliation and pain she and her friends caused? Can you really forgive someone who was so mean and aggressive toward you?
I remember rejecting Tanya only because I was worried the others would laugh at me. I feel shameful. How can I judge Samantha for something I’m also capable of? Perhaps, there’s more similarity between us than I thought. We both have something rotten and mean inside. Inner weakness, being afraid of going against the crowd. So how can I hate her if we’re the same? And as for the latest incident during the race when Samantha pushed me and almost made me fall… well, I guess I could do that type of thing if I felt my life was in danger. I’m not a genuinely good or nice girl.
“I forgive you,” I say.
Samantha thanks me, crying more. She looks at me sadly and mutters, “I miss my family so much. I never wanted to be sold. And now… we’re all going to die, aren’t we? The chimeras will kill us all sooner or later.”
Although Samantha and I are no longer enemies, I still don’t trust her too far. And I can’t involve her in our plot to escape.
“We’ll be all right,” I lie. “We’ll survive and earn our freedom.”
“Freedom?” Samantha sighs. “But I’ve never wanted to be free. I wouldn’t know what to do. Even the thought of freedom scares me.”
I spend a few more minutes with her and then continue my search for Trent.
***
I find Trent doing pull ups at the training field, although we’re dismissed from any training over the next two days. He smiles upon seeing me. I can’t understand how he can appear so happy after everything that’s happened. Six of us are now dead, including my friend Topaz.
I clue him in to Amy’s plan.
“Kora!” Trent exclaims. “Are you insane?”
“Please, listen to me,” I plead. “If we just stay here, we’ll all be killed. None of us has a real chance to survive all the way through. Just think about it. Brutus and Joan are the only survivors after so many years and…”
“Don’t say that!” he cuts me off. “We can do it. We’ve survived one race and can survive a few more.”
“You know it’s impossible.”
“Stop it. I don’t want to hear about any more stupid plans you and your friend came up with.”
Still emotional after my conversation with Samantha, I begin crying, hating myself for being so sensitive. Trent sighs, watching me.
“Kora, the masters would hunt you down,” he says. “Do you realize what they do with runaways?”
I nod. I’ve heard stories before. They give you the whip, then burn you at a stake, or maybe cut off your head.
“Where would you go anyway?” Trent asks.
“To Bastion,” I mutter. “Or possibly try to find Jingfay.”
