I don’t like it. I’d hoped to reunite with Tanya after passing my test. But she may be better off being away from here. Maybe she’ll be safer there, because this village doesn’t seem like a very good place for kids.
Once we’re inside his cabin, I sit tiredly on the floor and ask, “Why didn’t you tell me I’d have to pass a second test?”
“The spirit journey isn’t a test,” he answers, plopping down across from me and offering a flask of water. “It’s an initiation. I thought I’d have time to better prepare you for the ritual, because rangers typically only take a spirit journey a month or two after killing a chimera. I’ve never heard about anybody being given only three days to prepare. Tartis must be hoping you’ll fail.”
“What will I have to do?” I ask, splashing water on my face, washing away the blood. “Fight someone else?”
“Nah, you ain’t gonna fight anybody,” he grins. “You’ll have to eat some Deathfall root. It will take you into the spirit realm.”
“Is it a drug?” I sigh.
“Yep. A very powerful one, but nonaddictive. After trying Deathfall once, you’ll never want to do it again.”
I rub my temples, sorting out my thoughts. I’m too exhausted after hunting, facing Ace, and being near Wreck the whole time. It’s been too much strain and anxiety.
“Is it dangerous?” I ask indifferently.
“Could be. Deathfall makes you real sick at first, and then causes you to see and hear things.”
“And what’s the purpose of that?”
“Well, it’s supposed to help you learn about your destiny. You must find your spiritual guardian during your journey. He’ll tell you who you really are and what you should do with your life.”
It all sounds somewhat tempting but I don’t believe in spirits or have any use for the spirit realm.
“It will all just be a hallucination, right?” I ask. “It can’t be real.”
“What’s real and what’s not?” He smirks. “If you believe in something strong enough, doesn’t it become real for you? People had been practicing this ritual for centuries before the old world was destroyed. So there must be something to it.”
“Did you go on a spirit journey?”
“All the rangers have.”
“What did you see?”
“I’m not supposed to divulge that information.” He pauses, moving in a little closer. “But there’s one thing I want you to know,” he whispers mysteriously. “I saw you, Kora.”
“What?!”
“I saw that a girl with a knife would one day come into my life. That’s precisely why I spared you. I didn’t recognize you at first, but when I saw your knife, it all came back.”
I frown, looking him over. His face is unreadable. I remember how thrilled he became when he saw my knife. Yet I also recall him trying to persuade me that he’s a werewolf. I can never tell whether he’s making things up or not.
“Will these visions be scary?” I ask.
“Disturbing, yes. This root conjures up all kinds of crazy stuff from your subconscious. You may even see demons. Some people lose their mind after all that.”
“Is there any chance I might die?”
“Only in the case of an overdose. Your mentor is supposed to give you the root and your mentor happens to be me. So it’s actually my job to calculate the right amount.”
I stare at him, getting anxious again. “Have you done it before?”
“I think I can handle it,” he assures.
“Have you done it before?” I repeat.
“No, but I’ve never mentored anybody either. I do have enough knowledge about this stuff. So just trust me.”
I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to take a peek into my subconscious because I doubt I’d find anything good in there. I’m also nervous even thinking about allowing Wreck to drug me. But the part about finding one’s destiny lures me. So I remain quiet, full of hesitation.
“Kora,” he says in a soft voice. “Look at me. It’s not as bad as it sounds. You won’t be alone. I’ll be supporting you during the entire ritual. I’ll be taking some of the root as well, only a smaller amount so that I’ll still be able to monitor your condition. I believe you’re strong enough to pass the initiation. But if you don’t want to do it, or if you have any doubts at all, we’ll figure out something else. I promise.”
“What for example?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. Something. But I’m not gonna let anybody touch you.”
Why not? I wonder.
“You must take the spirit journey willingly,” he adds. “Otherwise it won’t work. Deathfall does strange things to your head. You can’t resist it. You have to embrace it or risk losing your mind. It’s no joke.”
I look away, thinking. Can this root really help me to learn my destiny? Can I find my life’s purpose during my spirit journey? I don’t know. I guess nobody knows.
“You don’t have to decide anything right now,” Wreck says. “You still got three days to think it over.” He rises to his feet. “You hungry? I’m gonna grab us something to eat.”
Once he’s gone, I sit motionless on the floor, gazing up at the skulls on the shelf. It appears like they’re grinning at me, so I smile back. I wish somebody would tell me what to do. I wish Amy or my mother could be here with me. But I’m completely alone and don’t know whom I can trust.
Wreck returns several minutes later with steaks, baked potatoes and bread. We begin eating.
“Like a little drink?” he asks, handing me a different flask.
I smell it cautiously. There’s a sharp scent of alcohol. “What’s this?”
“Just some stuff
