I don’t know what to do about Wreck. I really don’t want to tell him anything. I don’t want him to find out how stupid, weak and helpless I am. I can’t admit I’m just a victim.
So no word to Wreck. He doesn’t need to learn who I really am.
Feeling weak and broken, I walk back toward his shack. Wreck is outside, tossing knives into a tree. Upon seeing him, I straighten my back and hold my head high. He has painted his face again and now looks like a savage, disturbingly similar to Ace and his friends.
“Hey Kora.” He turns to me, grinning. “What’s up?”
I work up a smile as I approach him.
“You hungry?” he asks. “Ready for some breakfast?”
“I don’t know,” I shrug.
His grin fades. “What happened?”
“Nothing,” I answer, continuing to stretch my lips into a strained smile. “The river is very beautiful. I liked it.”
“What happened?” he repeats, watching my face.
My throat tightens. I hide my shaking hands inside my pockets. “Everything is fine. I’m just a little tired. You know I didn’t sleep much. Mind if I take a little nap?”
Wreck remains silent for a few moments, his eyes studying me.
“That’s not gonna work on me,” he says.
“What are you talking about?”
“I admit you’re putting on a really good act. But I’m not an idiot, all right? I know how to read body language. You’re all wired and shaking. So what happened?”
I don’t answer.
“Hey, look at me. What’s wrong?”
I start crying.
“Come on,” he sighs. “Just spit it out. You don’t have to go through it alone.”
“Ace threatened me,” I confess.
“Oh,” Wreck smirks. “So do you need any help disposing of his body? I can provide you with an alibi if you need.”
I don’t answer, sniffling.
“Sorry,” he says. “I apologize. That was a really stupid thing to say. What happened? You took your knife with you, didn’t you?”
“I couldn’t do anything,” I mutter. “I froze.”
“You froze? Seriously?” He appears astounded. “Dang, Kora. I witnessed your killing a chimera. Ace should be like child’s play for you.”
“It’s different with him.”
“How?”
I don’t answer.
“Kora,” he says. “You’re dangerous. I know that much for sure. What you did with those two guards back in your village was just brutal. I think you’re even more violent than me. You can put Ace down. I have no doubts.”
I turn away, feeling ashamed. I’m just a fraud. Wreck doesn’t realize I’ve lied to him about so many things.
“You just don’t know the real me,” I mutter.
“I know you much better than you think.”
I shake my head no.
“You’ve already broken Ace’s nose,” he adds. “And you fought me when I attacked you.”
“I didn’t!”
“Oh yes, you did. I saw you trying to pull your knife after I’d tackled you.”
I recall myself lying underneath him, struggling to free myself to no avail.
“I’m just a loser, all right?” I exclaim. “I freeze up.”
Wreck calmly looks me over.
“That doesn’t make you a loser,” he says. “There are three natural responses to danger. Fight, flight or freeze. You didn’t lose. You survived. That’s all that matters. In a sense, you actually won.”
I stand motionless, listening, all the while thinking of cutting my wrists.
“I wouldn’t expect you to freeze up,” he continues. “But there’s nothing wrong with that. We’ve all been there. Like for me to take care of Ace? I’ll do it, no problem. I’ll kill him if you want me to. Or I can just hold him down and let you beat or kill him. Just say the word.”
I shake my head no. “I don’t want to beat or kill anybody. I just want him to leave me alone.”
“He doesn’t care what you want. You gotta learn how to fight back. I know it’s wrong when you can’t take a step without somebody trying to kill you, but it is what it is. That’s the world we live in. But guess what, Kora. You don’t have to take crap from anybody. You don’t have to be nice, polite or sweet. If anybody bothers you, just beat the hell out of them. Destroy them.”
“I can’t!” I blurt out. “I’m not like you. You can’t even imagine what it feels like to be weak and unable to fight.”
Wreck glances at me, snickering, and says slowly, “Oh yes, I can. Trust me.”
His voice sounds hollow and for a moment his eyes have a haunted expression. I don’t know what that means.
“Forget it,” I sigh. “I’m not a fighter.”
“Are you really going to let Ace intimidate you?” Wreck snorts. “Come on, Kora. You’re stronger than that. I reckon you’d cut my throat if I ever attacked you again. And Ace is nothing in comparison to me.”
“I wouldn’t cut your throat. I wouldn’t do anything,” I say quietly, and I know that most likely it’s the truth.
“Seriously?” He laughs. “You mean I could do whatever I pleased and you’d just put up with it? Are you really that broken? I’m not buying it.”
I turn and begin walking away.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Wreck asks.
“I need to spend some time alone.”
“I didn’t say you could leave yet.”
He grabs me by the hair, yanking me to a stop. I freeze, tilting my head back.
“You’re not going anywhere unless I let you,” he says, roughly gripping my arm. “I’ve got a better idea of what we can do.”
“Are you crazy?!” I yell. “What are you doing?”
I try to pull my
