"Yeah," he said gruffly, breathing through the pain in his side. Once it had subsided, he rubbed his hand along the back of her thigh. "So, James and Maggie, huh? He didn't say anything to me."
Alisha sighed. She felt so guilty for telling him, but at the same time, he was her boyfriend and keeping it from him didn't feel right either. "He didn't know. When Maggie called me this morning she asked me to get a test for her. She just found out."
"She tell him yet?" His best friend was having a baby. That was fucking insane.
Alisha shrugged. "That was the plan, but I haven't heard from her." She ran her hand over his hair. "Why don't we order a pizza, watch a movie and forget about this drama?" she suggested, only because she sensed that he really could use the distraction and frankly she could use a little one, too.
"Sold. Can I pick the movie?" he asked hopefully.
Grinning, she nodded her head. He was too cute for his own good sometimes. "Sure."
He picked Goodfellas.
She didn't mind; it was one of her DVDs anyway. He told her he was impressed that she owned "such a kick ass movie."
Jake had been unusually quiet while they ate their pizza and the innuendos were kept to an absolute minimum. Alisha knew the news about James and Maggie's impending arrival had come at quite a shock (to her, too), but she couldn't shake the feeling that something else was bothering him. She just wasn't sure what it could be. But, he pulled her close during the movie and slipped his fingers into her hair, gently running them through the long tresses. She was so comfortable lying with her head on his lap, the head massage lulling her to sleep.
She'd just closed her eyes when Jake paused the movie. "Does my job bother you?" he asked suddenly, startling her.
"Hmm?" She rolled onto her back so she could look up at him.
He frowned a little that he had to repeat the question. This conversation didn't fall under the category of shit he usually talks about. "Do you have a problem with my job?"
Alisha sat up and faced him, folding her legs over his lap. "Why would I have a problem with your job?"
Big lifted a shoulder carelessly and stared intently at his hand that was currently resting on her knee. "I dunno. Maggie and James almost broke up because of his job and—"
"Jake," Alisha said softly, sweetly, running her hand over his bicep, "we're not James and Maggie. I know that your job is dangerous and while I do worry about your safety, I am not bothered by the fact that you work as a fireman."
"S'cause I'm so sexy, right?" he asked, smirking at her. She cocked her head to the side and pinned him with a no-nonsense look. Talking about feelings was just not something he was comfortable with yet. Sighing, he rubbed a hand over the back of his head. "I just don't want you to hold it in if you do have a problem with it. I'd rather have all the cards on the table and not have it come out later or whatever."
"If I had a problem with your job, we wouldn't be together. If I couldn't handle it, I would have walked away after you were injured on the job. Your job is a part of who you are, Jake. I accept that. I'd never tell you to stop doing something that you love."
"I don't love it," he argued. "S'just a job."
"Don't bullshit me," she bit out.
Big chuckled then. "I'm rubbing off on you—I like it. Okay, it's not just a job. But I didn't move here so I could become a firefighter. Coulda done that back in New York."
A little smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. He so rarely talked openly like this with her. She only pressed him on occasion for more information because she didn't want to come off as overbearing. This felt like real growth in their relationship. (That was also something she'd never say to him, because he would be relentless in teasing her for sounding like a nerd.) "Why did you move here?"
He averted his eyes again. "Wanted to be a musician."
"You are," she said simply.
"Not in a cover band, Larrington," he grumbled. "I wanted to make the big time, tour with my band, have people buy my music—all of that."
Alisha nodded and her heart broke a little for him. She knew those dreams all too well—they were her dreams, too, after all. "What stopped you from trying?"
"Being broke all the fucking time and living in cramped, shitty apartments that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. James and I both got jobs with the department thinking we could make some money and work on our music part time until that took off. I don't know, life just went a different way, I guess."
She didn't say anything for a moment. Her path hadn't exactly been the same. Sure, she had the big dreams, but she moved to the city with money in her pocket and a best friend with a trust fund. There'd never been roach-infested apartments at any turn in her life. Maybe if there had been, she, too, might have wavered on her dreams a little when things weren't going her way. She really couldn't say for certain.
"What's stopping you now?" she asked pointedly.
"I dunno," he shrugged again. "Too old I guess."
A scowl broke out on her face and her brows Adam together tightly. "To use your own colorful language, Jake, fuck that! Fuck. That. I'm only two years younger than you and if you think that I've achieved all I want to in the music industry you're sorely mistaken. I've wanted Broadway for as long as I can remember, but it was never the only thing that I hoped to accomplish in my career.
