But it wasn't just his good looks that gave her butterflies. Over these last couple of months (three, if you count before they started sleeping together), he'd just become this incredibly important person in her life. (And was quickly rising in the ranks) Hindsight was truly 20/20, because how she ever thought that they could just be about sex and not have feelings get involved was beyond her.
She just…liked him. So much.
Sure, he was crass, and rude, and foul-mouthed and said inappropriate things about 87% of the time, but when no one else was looking, he had the ability to be sweet (he'd hate her for even thinking that, she was absolutely certain). He was stubborn and argumentative (so was she), but he could make her laugh until tears streamed down her face and no more sound came from her mouth. He possessed the ability to make her flush from head to toe with a single arch of his eyebrow or a smirk on his incredible lips. And one kiss or touch from him made her forget that anything but him even existed in the universe.
"I know I'm sexy, but it's rude to stare, ya know," he said impishly, snapping her out of her thoughts.
Big opened his eyes and shot a wicked grin at her before pulling out his ear buds. She looked fucking adorable with her chin resting on her knees like that.
Alisha felt the color rush to her cheeks, but she managed a little laugh. "I thought you were sleeping and I didn't want to disturb you."
"Uh huh, sure. It's okay to admit it, Shorty. I won't judge."
She rolled her eyes and "I'd ask you how you're feeling, but clearly you're feeling better. How doped up are you?"
Big smirked. "Not much at all anymore. Those bastards took away my happy button."
"Aw, poor baby," she teased, stretching out her legs. "How was your visit with your mother?"
"Jesus Christ," he rolled his eyes. "Typical. But fine I s'pose. You were gone a while."
"I was in the cafeteria with Sarah," she smiled. "And then your mother joined us."
"I'm sorry," he grumbled.
Alisha laughed then, "Don't be. They made me realize something."
He was sure he wasn't going to like whatever that was. "Fuck, what?" he asked gruffly.
She stood up from the chair and sat down beside him on the bed. "That it's time we talked about—things."
It wasn't that he disagreed (he didn't), but now that they were finally here, he found the idea of talking (especially about fucking feelings) a little scary and not a lot badass. But the way her big brown eyes sparkled and warmed as she smiled down at him made his fears shut the fuck up. "Yeah," he nodded, resting his hand on her thigh. "I agree."
Alisha placed her hand on top of his and toyed with his fingers as she struggled to find the right words. This usually wasn't a problem for her (had never been a problem for her), but now, knowing that they were about to have a very important conversation, she felt like a mute. Big's lips curved into a lazy smile when she cleared her throat and smoothed her free hand over her ponytail. "I don't know what's wrong with me," she laughed nervously. "I normally don't have issues talking."
"Believe me, I know," he teased dryly, making the corners of her lips turn down slightly. "I'm sorry," Big said sincerely.
"For that? Don't be silly. I do talk a lot, Jake—"
"No," he cut her off. "I'm sorry…for being such a prick to you the other night."
Her shoulders slumped a little and she cast her eyes down at the worn blanket on the bed. "It's okay," she whispered. "I deserved it."
His jaw clenched and his brows Adam close together. "No you fucking didn't, Lisha. Don't say that. I'm not sorry for feeling the way I did, but I should've just, you know, talked to you about it instead of getting drunk and being such an asshole. But, yeah, talking about shit instead of reacting is kinda new to me."
Alisha lifted her eyes to meet his and smiled softly, gripping his hand just a little tighter and brushing her thumb over his knuckles. "I'm so sorry you overheard that conversation with Russell. I didn't mean any of it. In fact, I'd planned on talking to you about our—relationship after the party was over."
Big quirked a brow, a slight smile on his lips. "Yeah?" When she nodded her response, he grinned. "Me, too."
"Well, we're quite the pair, aren't we?" she smirked.
"Hell yeah we are," he winked.
Alisha snorted out a laugh. "I'm not sure that was meant to be complimentary to either of us given that I've got emotional baggage and you're…" she trailed off, silently scolding herself. Insulting him was so not the tactic she'd wished to employ. God!
Biting back a smile, he prodded, "I'm what, Lisha?"
She buried her face in her hands and groaned. She was such an idiot sometimes. "Nothing, forget it."
"Babe, I know I'm new to this, but aren't we supposed to be honest with each other?"
"You're emotionally—"
"Retarded," he finished with a grin. He wasn't offended.
"Inexperienced," she corrected.
He shrugged the shoulder on his good side and chuckled. "Whatever, I like mine better." He just looked at her for a minute, looking for the right thing to say and thinking how this wasn't so scary after all. "So, you and me—not just about sex anymore." It wasn't a question.
Warmth rushed to her cheeks and smiled softly as she shook her head. "Not anymore," she agreed.
Sure, he'd read the text message (several times—shut the fuck up) but hearing her say it out loud made it real. "When did things change? For you?"
Alisha caught her bottom lip between her teeth and thought about it. "To be honest, I don't know if there was one specific moment that made me realize.
