“You’ll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar,” Odelia tells me.
“What in the world does that mean?”
“It means that people will respond more favorably if you treat them with respect. Make manners a part of your personality. Practice at Smile Academy with the children. Practice at the skate park. Practice at home. Thank your parents for the home they’ve provided, the delicious meals, etc. Practice with me.”
“With you?”
Odelia taps her foot. I notice her flip flops—nice leather ones like they sell in the skate and surf stores. I want a pair, but they’re fifty bucks.
“Where did you get them?” I ask. “They’re awesome.”
“Do you mean my flipper flops? I saw a picture of these in a magazine and had them made.”
“They’re flip flops,” I correct her. “Are you saying that you have a personal shoemaker that goes along with your personal seamstress and personal carpenter?”
“Yes,” Odelia answers. “Collin is my shoemaker. We have an entire staff who live in small cottages on the mansion’s property – a seamstress, carpenter, butler, cook, maid, stable manager, and a few more. We brought them with us when we moved here. They’re wonderful! Collin is especially talented. His workmanship exceeds anything in any store. Serena and I returned to the mall to make sure his were as good.”
The extra mall trip explains the rest of Odelia’s outfit—a logo-free, light-pink pocketed tee, classic boyfriend jeans, and a leather belt that matches her “flipper flops.” The tiara is officially gone. Her hair is down. Pinned behind one ear is a black barrette with red, orange, pink, and green stones.
“Focus, Bernice,” Odelia says.
“I was admiring your clothes. And that barrette. Where did you get it?”
Odelia pulls out the barrette and throws it to me. “I made it,” she says. “You can have it.”
“I, um, don’t know what to say.” I pull on a random curl that I missed when straightening my hair this morning.
“Exactly,” Odelia reprimands. “You should have immediately said thank you. And this is why you need lesson seven. Let’s begin. I’ll demonstrate.” Odelia clears her throat. A long speech is coming. “Thank you for showing me around my new neighborhood, and for introducing me to the skate park and the mall. Thank you for allowing me to volunteer with you. Thank you for showing me how to be more easygoing. Thanks for . . .” Odelia stops. She bites her lip. “Thank you for your friendship, Bernice.”
“You’re thanking me?” I ask.
“Yes. Now, let me hear you.”
“Please, please can we not do this lesson?”
Odelia raises that left eyebrow. She makes circles with her arms, encouraging me to keep going. Part of me hopes she’ll lose her balance and take a nose dive off the slide.
“Thank you for showing me I can be next to a boy without making a fool out of myself. Almost. Thank you for helping me see that I can be a girl without being a girly girl. Almost. Thank you for coming to Smile Academy because I didn’t want to go at first and having you along made it easier. Thank you for showing me how to walk, talk, and maybe not end up a total loser. Thank you for . . . for being my friend.” I bow to Odelia, queen of my sliding board.
“That was nice, Bernice,” Odelia says. She slides down, straightens up, and tucks a finger under my chin. She tries to look very serious, but a giggle sneaks out as she says loudly, “Arise, oh worthy one. It’s time for my other notes.”
Odelia’s other notes are five pages long. When she’s finished drilling me on “appropriate etiquette,” we leave my yard and chill in the AC in my room. Odelia doesn’t come up with another lesson, which I appreciate.
Then, out of the blue, she says, “Serena sold Prince Chancellor Pomegranate a saddle. When he came to pick it up, he asked to see me. He was really nervous. He kept picking at his ear. I thought a ball of earwax might pop out! I wanted to talk to him, alone, so I took him for a stroll in the garden. When we finished, I challenged him to a race to the end of the property. It was okay. No, I mean, it was great! He told me he never expected that. Can you imagine that? He liked that I was sporty! He wants to teach me his favorite sport—archery. I haven’t told Serena, for she would be chilly about this.”
“She would not be chill,” I correct her. “You’re going to shoot a bow and arrow? I’d pay to see that.”
“I will be wonderful. I will be full of awe with myself.”
“Awesome.”
“Oh, yes! Awesome!” Odelia spins herself across my lawn, out to the street, and up her driveway. She is one weirdo girl, with or without the princess gown and tiara. But there might be hope for her yet.
***
An Invitation to the Ball
Today, Smile Academy is a zoo. I’m filling in as story time person because Odelia is two hours away learning archery from Chance. I’ve read every Dr. Seuss book in the camp’s library, and my voice is completely hoarse.
Jessica finds the bag of marshmallows reserved for s’mores, eats them all, and throws up on the window. Easy to see she had oatmeal and raisins for breakfast. Gross! Joe comes in late because he’s broken his finger—his middle finger. He holds it up for us to check out. Angelo falls asleep while hiding during Hide ‘N Seek, and we can’t find him for fifteen minutes. Nellie is not her usual chatty self, and Miss Robyn tells me she’s upset. Mrs. O’Malley has lost her job, and she can’t afford to send Nellie to camp any longer. This is the worst part
