I eyed their wounds uneasily.
Obediah saw me staring and gave me a level look.
‘Cotton press,’ he said simply. ‘She got me in the end. Theo crawled in to pull me out, and she got ’im too.’
For a moment, I could say nothing.
Obediah gave me a small smile. ‘’S all right, Frankie. It’s just what happens at the spike. All the time. We got off lightly. We’ve seen bodies pulled out of there with no skin left. Theo’s bash in the head is nothing to complain about – and I’m practically armless.’ He grinned. ‘You?’
‘Drowned.’
They winced. ‘In the bath? I always thought they were wicked things,’ gasped Theo, eyes wide.
‘No, in the sea.’
What a relief it was, to meet others like me! I was no longer the only dead child around. There were four of us now: the boys, the little girl in Theo’s arms, gripping on tightly to his thumb, and me.
There were also other ghosts climbing out of their cans. Beyond us, from a TINNED SCRAMBLED EGG – NO SHELL, NO MESS, NO PROBLEM! can, a mud-smeared and broad-shouldered woman was beginning to emerge, her matted blonde plaits just visible beneath her crumbling bronze helmet.
‘Look at that driggle-draggle!’ said Theo in wonder.
At the sound of human voices, she looked over and immediately raised her spear.
We all took a step back.
The last in the line to emerge, apologising profusely as she did so, was a slender young woman in a black dress. As she pulled herself out of COCKROACH BROTH: JUST LIKE MUM USED TO MAKE, a rectangular dent on her body became visible, starting just below her throat and ending around her belly button. She was practically flat around her tummy, as if something huge had landed on her once.
She saw us looking and said politely: ‘I’m Vanessa. Have I missed anything important? I’m sorry if I held anything up!’
She caught me and the boys staring at the bruising on her neck and gave a sweet smile.
‘My fault,’ she said. ‘Should have taken my purse.’ Then she looked into the shadows. ‘Where’s that lovely boy? He said I could look after him.’ She touched the tightly braided cornrows on her hair gently with shining red nails. ‘He was the same age as my … as my …’ Her voice tailed off.
‘Oh dear,’ she said simply. ‘I’ve forgotten again. Mind like a sieve! Never mind! Ignore me!’
Just as I was trying to work out where she came from, with her shoulder pads and vivid blue eye shadow, Crawler cleared his throat loudly.
‘All right then,’ he said. ‘Let’s get started.’
CRAWLER STARED IN our direction with a fixed, blank look. ‘First thing to know is very simple: I’m in charge here. If you remember nothing else, remember that, and we’ll get along just fine.’
‘Oh, I love having a boss,’ said Vanessa. ‘I hope I do a good job.’ She paused. Looked around worriedly. ‘What is the job? Do you know, duck?’
I gave her an uncertain smile and shrugged. ‘Your guess is as good as—’
‘Second thing: congratulations! You’ve won the afterlife lottery!’ said Crawler. ‘I’m offering you bed, board, work, an adoring audience. And the best bit of all is: you’ll never have to deal with the outside world ever again.’
I looked down the line of ghosts. It was clear none of us had any idea what he was talking about. ‘An adoring audience?’ What did that mean?
Even Scanlon looked confused.
‘Ma,’ the little girl with no name said uncertainly.
‘Third thing,’ said Crawler. ‘I know you can see me, but it’s not mutual. You’re invisible to me. The only ghost-seer in this family is him.’ He jerked his head in Scanlon’s direction. ‘But I can’t. Never could. Never will. So even if you don’t like what I have to say, don’t bother whingeing, because I won’t notice. All right?’
The little girl in Theo’s arms gave a faint whimper, and was promptly soothed by Theo rocking her gently.
Crawler smiled. ‘But I don’t think there’ll be much complaining. Because you’re going to have a worry-free existence. You’re going to have purpose. You’re going to be useful, and I know how much you like to be useful. And once you’ve got used to how I like things to be done,’ said Crawler, ‘why, then we’ll all be one big happy, money-spinning, showbiz family, and that’s a Crawler guarantee!’
He spread his arms with a flourish and looked to the shadowy thing to his right again. I peered into the gloom, intrigued, to see what kept drawing his eye. I saw several rows of plastic chairs, in pairs.
‘And because a business – and its employees – works best when it knows how it started, I’m going to tell you how it all began.’
And as we all slowly inflated back to our usual sizes, Crawler finally revealed the truth.
‘Once upon a time, I had a wife and a baby boy. We lived in an old caravan, held down insignificant jobs, and plodded on through life. Although Scanlon’s mother—’
‘Her name was Nina,’ muttered Scanlon.
‘… always maintained that if we had each other, we had everything, I disagreed. I spent hours asking myself: how could I give myself a better life? How could I eat fine food, wear fine clothes, and travel the world in style? The answer boiled down to one thing, and one thing only: money. And we had none of it. But this was solved when my wife died of heart failure, leaving me with a healthy sum of money from her life insurance—’
‘That was meant to go towards paying for me to go to school and a house, which you agreed to when she was in hospital,’ muttered Scanlon.
Crawler made a flicking gesture with
