“He said he loved me,” she whispered. “Like a…like a brother. Of sorts.”
It sounded innocent, but there was something about the way she paused that made me look up.
“A brother. Hmm. But did he ever…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. I couldn’t even think about the possibilities for that kind of relationship.
Her lower lip trembled. But then, slowly, she nodded. “Just a few times. When I was younger. Before you left for college.”
My stomach turned. We had been girls. Teenagers, still in high school. Caitlyn was younger than me—she didn’t turn eighteen until the fall after we graduated. Which meant that Calvin had been sleeping with her when she was only a child.
“You were what he really wanted,” she continued. “But he said you thought you were too good for him.”
“That’s because I am.”
For once, I had no shame in saying what others had whispered for the last ten years, what had caused Calvin to rage at me so terribly behind closed doors. Maybe it was the time, maybe it was finally meeting Matthew, or maybe it was having family members who saw my worth again, but I had no problem admitting the truth: I was too good for my husband. And I always had been.
“So, is that it?” I asked acerbically. “He met me at my father’s party and the two of you planned to entrap me in this scheme when we were, what, fifteen?”
“No!”
Caitlyn stepped back, like she knew the importance of calming herself. The store was quiet. We would attract attention sooner rather than later.
“No,” she said again. “It was—it was after he ran into you in Queens. The day you…” She glanced down at my stomach, then back up at me. “The day you decided to keep Olivia,” she finished softly.
I examined her hard. More and more of those conversations came back to me these days as I tried to retrace my mistakes. The random ways Caitlyn and I had “run into each other” following my return from Florence. The way she had skillfully feigned surprise when I’d confirmed my engagement to Calvin. The way she had so subtly urged me to go through with it.
The entirety of it made me sick.
“I have to go,” I said as I turned away.
“Wait.”
She reached out and grabbed my arm before I could slip around the racks of clothing.
“We were friends, Nina,” she pleaded. “Best friends.”
“We absolutely were not.” I shook her off me. “And we certainly aren’t now, nor will we ever be. Let’s be very clear about that.”
Again, her lower lip trembled. “All I wanted was to be a part of your family.”
“I think you mean you wanted to be my family.” The statement was acid on my tongue. “Specifically me, correct?”
“He said I had to,” Caitlyn whispered. “He said I had to, or else he would…Nina, you know what he does. T-to those girls. My guardian died when you were in Italy. Don’t you remember? He promised—he said I’d be one of them if I didn’t do what he—he said I’d disappear, and no one would ever care about some no-name from Paterson! It was why I took up with Florian, remember him? I was trying to escape, just like you are now. But he’s never let me go, not ever!”
“Keep your voice down!” I hissed, suddenly aware of the perking heads of the saleswomen on the other side of the boutique. The last thing I needed was a scene. Not when half the paparazzi in New York were still on the lookout for me daily.
Caitlyn swallowed. “I—okay. I’m sorry. I’ll get myself under control.”
“And I am going to leave,” I said, turning once again for the exit. “And you are not going to follow me.”
“Wait, Nina! Please!”
“What?” I hissed as I whirled around. “What else could you possibly want from me?”
“Calvin. He’s angry. And mean.”
“Do you think I don’t know that?” I demanded. “You, of all people? I know his temper, Caitlyn. I wore the marks of it for ten years.”
“I know that,” she replied. “But, Nina, you’ve never seen this side of him. The side that plans. The side that did this.” She gestured up and down her general person, clearly to indicate all the changes in her appearance she’d been forced to assume. “That’s the side you shouldn’t underestimate. He’s smarter than you think. And when he wants something—vengeance—he’ll do anything until he gets it.”
We stared at each other for a long time. Blue eyes locked with gray. I searched for the signs of the duplicity I knew was there. But Caitlyn didn’t look away. She didn’t waver. Not once.
“Okay,” I said at last. “I’ll keep that in mind.” I turned to leave, but found I couldn’t. Not without saying one more thing. “You should—Caitlyn, would you ever consider…what he did to you, it isn’t right. You should come forward. Tell your story.”
She blinked, looking very much like a blue-eyed owl. “Oh, no. I could never do that. And you can’t make me, N, so don’t even try.”
“Why not?” I shook my head. “Why would you go to jail for someone like him?”
“Because,” she said. “He’s the only family I have left, for better or for worse.” She cocked her head. “I’m sure you know how that feels.”
We examined each other, shocked to find one last thing we had in common.
Caitlyn nodded. “Okay. I’ll—I’ll see you, N.”
I blinked. “Yes—well, probably not, actually.”
Caitlyn opened her mouth like she wanted to argue. But eventually it closed, and she nodded in defeat. “All right, Nina. If that’s what you want.”
Chapter Six
Matthew
“Goddammit.” I yanked the silk through the knot for the fourth time in a row while glowering at myself in the slightly warped full-length mirror next to my closet. “Kate!” I shouted. “Can you come in here a second?”
I wrestled with the tie until my sister trotted across the hall
