“I’m…I’m honored,” she said at last. “Truly I am.” She blinked against my chest, her eyelashes tickling my skin. “What about your grandfather? Do you know how he got it?”
I relaxed against my pillow and told her the fable of how my grandparents met on the subway platform only a few months after Nonno got off the boat from Naples. How Nonno had seen the girl who turned out to live only a few blocks from him and proceeded to escort her to her catering job, waited hours until she was finished, then took her right back home, safe and sound.
“Well, you’re right about the heirloom. It’s been in the family for a while. The story goes, the day after he met Nonna, he booked a ticket right back to Naples. But not to stay—to get his mother’s ring. He was only seventeen, but he knew the moment he saw her that she was the one he was going to marry.”
“I suppose when you know, you know,” Nina said as she gazed at the ring.
“Yeah, you do,” I said, though I was looking at her. “Which is why the night after we met, I pulled it out of my sock drawer. And I’ve been carrying it around ever since.”
We lay there for a long time, her looking at the ring, me looking at her. It was perfect. Peaceful. I could have stayed in that room forever.
But forever can’t exist in a room. It has to include the rest of the world too.
“Matthew,” Nina said. “We have to talk.”
“Don’t even think about giving that back, duchess. You took it. It’s a binding agreement.”
She smiled. “That’s not what I was going to say.”
“Then what?” I was trying hard to stay playful, but it wasn’t easy. “Baby, you’re looking at me like you’re going to kill my puppy.”
Nina sighed with something suspiciously like regret. Goddammit.
“It’s all right,” I said quickly. “I know you can’t wear it when we get back. Maybe you can put it on a chain or something. Keep it close to your heart or whatever until he finally signs the paper…”
I trailed off, unable to keep the bitterness from my voice. I was trying to be fair, but it was going to be damn hard to return to New York and not be able to shout from the rooftops that Nina de Vries was going to be my wife. Goddammit. What had I done?
Nina was quiet for a long time.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m ruining the moment.”
“No, you’re not,” she replied. “I was just thinking about something else.”
“Oh? What’s that?” She was trying to save my feelings, I was sure of it.
Nina sat up, her dark blonde hair falling to one side, just an inch or so from her shoulder. She took a deep breath. “You said everyone is allowed their secrets. But I don’t want to keep them from you. Not if—not if I’m going to be your wife. Your real wife, Matthew.”
I understood what she meant. After living in a farce of a marriage for years, Nina was being explicit. Nothing about us would ever be for show. If I hadn’t already done it three other times, I would have made love to her right there just for saying so.
But.
“More secrets, duchess?” I asked softly. My heart ached, but not because I was scared of what she would say. It could be anything, but I’d never leave this room without her with me. It hurt because of the fear I saw mirrored in her silvery eyes.
We stared at each other for several minutes, a deadlock.
“Not right now,” she lied.
I knew she was lying. Just like I knew I couldn’t press her. Because I had said it myself: secrets had to be earned, not expected. As badly as I wanted to know I’d earned every secret she had, it wasn’t my place to say that for her. Not now. Not ever.
“All right,” I said. “One day, then. I can wait. It doesn’t matter now. Not when I have everything I need.”
“Everything?” she ventured doubtfully. “Do you really think I believe you’ll be content as a house husband? Or a bartender?” She rubbed my arm. “I know you miss your work.”
I swallowed bitterly. “Maybe. But not as much as I missed you. Maybe I don’t need to be a lawyer anymore.”
Yeah. Even I couldn’t convince myself of that one.
Nina knew it too. “You don’t really mean that. You love your job. It’s who you are.”
I frowned. Something about that bothered me. “Who I am is not a job, doll.” I sighed. “One thing’s for sure, though. When we get back to New York, I probably need to find a lawyer of my own.” Fuck. That was going to be expensive.
Nina frowned. “What? Why?”
“You didn’t think I was just going to head back to the shadows after this, did you? You think your husband’s going to be happy that you’re shacking up with his former prosecutor? I guarantee he’s going to try to have my license revoked. But I don’t plan on letting him, no matter how much it costs.”
At that, she sat up and looked down at me, apparently forgetting that she was naked. “I will not have you ruin your life for me. I will not have it, Matthew. Absolutely not.”
I frowned. “I wouldn’t be ruining my life. In case you didn’t notice, I’ve been pretty fucking miserable without you. That’s not going to change if I end up getting my job back, which is looking more and more unlikely these days.”
Cardozo had been dodging my calls for weeks. Gardner’s trial wasn’t for another couple of months, but I figured that by now, my boss would at least have a plan for bringing me back unnoticed.
Unless he didn’t.
“So, what will you do instead? Tend bar?”
I cringed. I wasn’t going to admit it, but I hated working at Jamie’s. Nina was right. I missed…well, not the office, per