For the next several days, the daily operations continued while we prepared for a battalion-wide clearing mission, our biggest assignment yet. All groups in our deployment would play a role in patrolling villages, gathering intelligence, looking for IEDs, and hopefully getting rid of a lot of bad guys. This mission would take 3-4 days and we would rotate which platoons went out and which ones stayed on the base. I was disappointed when we got assigned to stay behind first, but I was excited when it was finally our turn.
22 MAY 2012
We went and picked up the guys from the battalion mission yesterday. It seems they did some really good things this week. As a company, we killed a lot of Taliban… They also captured a Taliban member… While there, our company found an HME factory, a Taliban aid station, and numerous weapons and ammo. The whole time they were gone, I had a very bad feeling about their mission. I also didn’t feel good about only having 2 platoons worth of people left on the COP. We heard radio chatter about the Taliban overrunning us. They are getting braver and pushing further north in our area of operation. That excites me for our clearing mission. We are really going to do some damage to their structure… I feel as if our area is almost a stronghold for the Taliban and if we tear that apart, they will never be able to get their feet back under them. This mission, the very one in our area, is the one that will control the future.
I am also starting to miss home a lot. I miss my family. I miss American food. I still can’t decide what I want my first meal to be when I get home. I think about steak a lot or really good seafood.
26 MAY 2012
We took indirect fire twice today. The first time it hit the interpreter’s tent. It injured a couple of our best terps. Sgt. [Cody] Outcault took shrapnel to the back of the arm. It was pretty scary. The second one blew up a bunch of waters… Things are heating up before this mission.
29 MAY 2012
“The Last Supper”
It’s the night before the big mission and I am pretty nervous. I have never been this nervous about a mission before. I feel like someone is not coming home this time. The Sergeant Major asked me what my most memorable moment about this deployment was and one of the things I told him is that all of our men are still alive. I want to write a few words in case I don’t make it home…
To my family… I love you. You guys mean so much to me. You all have provided me with a great life. I just wish I could do the same. This war is going to end one day and it’s not because the Taliban is defeated. So, that threat will remain. I have had the time of my life here though. I have discovered I am somewhat of an adrenaline junkie. I have missed you all greatly. I hope I get to come home to you guys, but if I don’t and I get to go to heaven, don’t cry. Celebrate. I want people to be happy at my funeral. I want everyone from my past to be there because I know that all my new friends can build the same bonds that I have with my old ones. Friends have been what drives me through, along with the thought of coming home to my family. I love you all.
To my wife… you are my best friend. You are my everything. I know I haven’t always done the right thing, but I always loved you. I want to do good for you. I want to be the best husband for you. If I come home, I will never take that for granted again. I will treat you like the queen you are. If you ever need to know why I do this, it is because I have always wanted to do something special. Something bigger than me. Why do I fight so hard? I fight so the men to my left and right, the men who sacrificed all, can come home to their wives too. If I have to die for that to happen, then so be it. If I do, I’m sorry I didn’t fight harder to come home. But, please, be proud. Your husband will have made a great sacrifice. I love you my angel.
If I don’t make it back, my friend “Doc” is supposed to send this home and then finish it. This is my book. This is my memory. I hope I get to finish it.
Dear God, this is my prayer to you: You are a wonderful and almighty God. You have provided me with so much. Please take care of my family. Give them happiness. Most of all, I pray that if I don’t make it home You will ease their pain. I
