This paragraph almost didn’t make it into the book, but after much praying and discussing it with Paige, we asked this to be added at the last minute. I don’t ever want someone to read my story and think that they need to do exactly what I did to get healing. I went to hours and hours of therapy, and it worked for me because my tendency is to laugh it off, ignore it, and numb myself. Therapy wasn’t fun. In fact, the first half of it was agony. I dreaded it, but I stuck with it and rounded a corner that helped me understand what was going on in my own head. I fear that a reader might take that idea and start pushing therapy on someone they love who has been through trauma. People have to want help, which is hard for people who want to be helpers, like my wife. They watch and notice struggling and immediately start coming up with a solution. What I hope everyone keeps a grip on while reading my story is that not everyone is the same. It doesn’t matter if you have access to the best treatment in the world, if the person you want to help isn’t open to it, then they might feel offended and end up defending hurtful behavior. I think the most important thing a friend can do for someone who is struggling is to gently ask if they are okay (and be ready to give a few reasons why you think they aren’t) and how you can pray for them or support them or if they can pinpoint anything that causes the struggle. This is why the small group was so successful for me. Paige made a promise to God and to herself that she wouldn’t coach me on how to react or feel about any of it. My one-on-one therapy was successful because Paige wasn’t there. While Paige brought it all to my attention, I had time to develop a desire to gain understanding, and I had the freedom to stop therapy or quit small group if I wanted to. Of course, there would have been long-term consequences to quitting, but it removed the feeling that I was doing this to make someone else happy. It made me feel responsible for my own experience, which is why I stuck to it. Life-consuming problems don’t happen overnight, and they don’t get fixed overnight. I didn’t have confidence that Paige would truly stick with me for better or for worse, which is a big reason why I lied and hid hard things from her so many times. The thing that can really keep someone going is having a friend who will love them no matter what they discover about themselves. This might be a gut-check for a lot of marriages, but at the end of the day everyone needs someone in their corner. That is something worth looking for. When we remember that person is in the corner with us, then we have to trust that their concerns are legitimate while also understanding that the concerned person is simply the helper, the listener, and the encourager, but not the fixer.
More than anything, I want people to know that we are more than what happens to us. As someone who had a terrible day on duty once, I lost sight of many important things. But the one thing I was able to hang on to was the fact that I lived. I got a second chance at life. You don’t have to step on a bomb to realize this. You don’t have to nearly lose your life to realize that your bad days could become some sort of mission field for you. Whenever my family feels attacked by evil, we often declare Genesis 50:20 over our situation: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” A life could be saved depending on how I handle my bad times. I pray for anyone who picks up this book to challenge themselves to do the same.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
JOSH
I would like to acknowledge my 2nd Platoon brothers of the 1-23 Infantry Battalion, the men I fought with, bled with, laughed with, and cried with. I will never forget the brotherhood that was formed in Mushan and will continue to honor the lives of those lost. I will forever be an Earthpig!
I would also like to acknowledge my wife, Paige, for her love and grace during some of the toughest times of our lives. Without you, I wouldn’t be the man I am today. I want to also thank you for your boldness to step up and share this story and all of the hard work that went into telling the whole story—one that will set people free. I love you, Paige.
PAIGE
I would like to thank my fellow amputee wives who got me through my time at Walter Reed. We stood in the gap for each other and celebrated one another’s victories. You all were my voice, my compass, my reasoning, my encouragement, my comforters, and my counselors. Without you, I would have been so lost.
I would also, as a civilian, like to thank the spirit of the Infantry. A creed that says “I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!” is the anthem of those brave enough to run toward the fight. I pray to always be a civilian worth fighting for. Thank you for your service.
Josh, thank you for opening up. This book needed your voice and emotions. Someone’s life will change because of what you chose to do with the hand you were dealt, and I am thankful to
