Instantly concerned, he asked, “Are you ill?”
“Just a headache. Anyway, you will have more fun without me.”
He tried not to let his disappointment show. “I won’t, but I will feed the kittens for you while you go lie down.”
She stepped out of the buggy. “That’s not necessary. I like the quiet time with them.”
“As you wish,” he answered.
Turning away, she paused and looked over her shoulder. “I had a very nice morning.”
“Me, too.” He waited, but she didn’t return his smile. As she walked away he felt he’d somehow landed back at square one.
Chapter Sixteen
After taking care of the kittens, Emma entered the house with lagging steps. Inside, she was surprised to see her mother sitting in the rocker by the stove. She held her Bible in her hands.
Looking over her glasses, Naomi said, “You are home early. Where is Adam?”
“He’s gone back to the auction. I was feeling tired.”
And like a fifth wheel among his family and friends. She didn’t know how to fit in.
“I imagine you are tired, what with getting up every two hours through the night to feed those poor motherless cats.”
Emma’s jaw dropped. “Who told you?”
“I may snore, but I’m still a light sleeper. When a daughter starts sneaking out of the house at night, a parent wants to know what is going on. I could see you didn’t want to tell me about them so I didn’t say anything.”
Plopping into a chair, Emma said, “I’m sorry if I worried you. I couldn’t let them die without trying to save them. They were so helpless.”
“If you can put that much effort into saving four kittens, can’t you put it into saving yourself?”
Emma frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I think you know. You were seventeen when William was killed. I know you loved him but he is gone. You are still here. You used William and that inn as an excuse to avoid being with people your own age. You have built a wall around your heart higher than the fireplace. When your father died I felt the same way. Perhaps that’s why I let you wallow in your grief. After a while, I didn’t know how to make you see you’d shut yourself off from life.”
“I’ve made the best life I can with what God gave me. I’m not pretty, I’m not witty. I’m dull and plain.”
She thought she had accepted her lot, but Adam had her thinking about all the things she’d never had—a home of her own and a man to hold her and love her.
Naomi shook her head sadly. “This is not what God wants for you. It would not be what William wanted for you. Life is passing you by, Emma. When I saw those kittens, I knew you felt it, too.”
Tears blurred Emma’s vision. “I don’t want to feel that pain again, Mamm.”
“God will help you bear any pain that comes your way. Trust in Him. Please stop passing up all the joy life has to offer out of fear. Do you like Adam Troyer?”
“I do. I do like him.”
“I can see that he likes you. All you have to do is smile at him and he will do the rest. Give him some encouragement, or sit in that chair and grow old without a husband and children and nothing but cats to love.”
Emma bit her lip as she listened to her mother’s harsh but true words. Could she take the chance? What if it didn’t work out? Would she be worse off than she was now?
Naomi drew a deep breath and blew it out in a huff. Rising to her feet, she said, “I believe I want to go to the auction now.”
Emma gathered her courage and stood. “I will go with you.”
Chapter Seventeen
David Troyer clapped Adam on the back when he sat down beside his cousin. “I thought I was seeing things this morning. There was my cousin, escorting the homeliest old maid in the county around this auction.”
Lydia giggled. “When I thought of all the pretty English girls Adam used to chase I could barely keep a straight face.”
“Me, too,” Susan added. The girls, eighteen and nineteen, were always laughing at something. Or someone.
Seated on the wooden risers at one end of the cattle pens, Adam listened to his cousins’ remarks with growing unhappiness. Finally, he said, “Emma Wadler is not homely. She is a devout, hardworking woman with a kind heart. You don’t know her the way I do. I’m thinking of courting her.”
Lydia and Susan flashed a scowl at each other. Then Susan asked, “Are you serious?”
“Jah, I am.” He hadn’t known Emma very long, but that was what courtship was for. To talk and make plans, to discover if they were right for each other. In his heart, he knew she was the only woman for him.
David nodded toward Adam’s father seated a few rows away. “Are you sure you aren’t rushing into this for another reason?”
Adam clenched his jaw. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
David shook his head. “You think if you quickly settle down and start planning a family your father will welcome you back with open arms. That isn’t fair to a woman.”
“If that happens I will be overjoyed,” Adam admitted. Like David, he thought it would take more than an Amish girlfriend to convince his father he had mended his life. None of that had to do with the way he felt about Emma.
After the cattle were auctioned off, the gas-powered tools were brought out. David and the girls left. Adam made his way up to the tools to look them over. From the corner of his eye he saw his father talking to the auctioneer beside the gas skill saw Adam intended to bid on.
