Katy tutted. “I shouldn’t have bothered asking you. Can you mend things?” she asked me.
“Me? Oh god, no.”
“He shouldn’t leave fragile things out,” said Melissa primly.
“Joshua,” said Serena, “has a horror of unbreakable things. He thinks people who keep indestructible things around them must be dangerous.”
“I’ve never heard him say that,” his sister snapped.
“He obviously has other things to say to you.”
Between the two women there was a palpable air of antagonism.
Something has happened to my language.
When I set out on this thing, ducking and
diving through my early life I was
switching points of view and first
person was something I dipped
into and out and I was quite
different
Now I’ve switched on one mode
I’m coloured by another time in
my life
Back then I would just have said:
“Them two women hated each other’s guts.”
Now,
something has happened.
“You haven’t introduced your friend, lovey,” Melissa told Serena.
“This is Wendy. You remember my very good friend, Anne? She’s Anne’s niece.”
Melissa snorted. “That coarse woman from Blackpool? The one who kept talking about her legs and her millionaire husband?”
“That’s the one.”
“I must say, you don’t look anything like your aunty.”
I didn’t say anything.
“Ah now,” said Josh’s sister. “Look, I’ve offended you. You mustn’t listen to me. I’m an idiot and a bore. I interfere and I always know better than the other person. I’m sure your Aunty is a tremendous person.”
“After your brother,” said Serena stiffly, “she is my closest friend.”
“That’s no recommendation, eh lovey?” Melissa gave a deep laugh. “My brother and Serena here are about the flakiest people I know. It’s all greed and taste with them.”
Serena looked mortified.
“Yet they’re happy in their own way. And Katy here is an absolutely midget gem.”
Katy looked at me again. “My dad fancies you.”
“Katy!” said Serena.
“He said! After the baths the other day, he said… I could give her one.”
“He did, did he?” cackled Melissa. She looked like a bird, sitting on her great haunches, twisting her head to listen to Katy. I found out later that she was slightly deaf, and used this as an excuse to talk that bit louder and cut across what others were saying. Next to me, Serena’s irritation was such that her hair was just about standing on end.
One thing I had to get used to was how late Josh always was. In that respect he really did live in a world of his own. He could never quite see that by keeping people waiting he could piss them off. I’d find him, terribly late already, partly dressed and staring at two pairs of neatly-ironed socks, making up his mind which colour. Once we rowed about his returning from a meeting he had out of town, some business connection. He was due back at ten, didn’t arrive until half past two, hadn’t phoned and didn’t see why, when he showed up, I was beside myself.
Eventually that night he appeared, barefoot, reeking of some obnoxious Harrods aftershave, in slim, black Italian trousers and a black ribbed top that clung to him. He had shaved, which was disappointing to me.
He hugged me quickly, impulsively, crushing me to his tight chest. “I love these breasts,” he said. “I could push myself up against them all night.”
“Josh!” cried Serena, grabbing her own hug. “You’ve turned all rough.”
“I don’t care,” he said lightly. “Now, have you all been introduced? I can’t bear doing that stuff.”
“They’ve already started to fight,” said Katy.
“Good. I think we should eat straight away.”
In the underwater dining room we ate trout by candlelight and Katy made a big show of pulling out her fish’s crisped eyes and snipping at their roots. I laughed. There was a salad of nothing but cherry tomatoes in mustard and oil. Josh was crazy about cherry tomatoes, bursting them between his teeth like grapes when he read the papers.
“I shall have to make a file-card out on you, lovey,” said Melissa, from across the table.
“Oh yes?”
Josh said, “My sister is so stupid that she forgets everything about everyone. She pokes her beaky nose in everywhere, but retains nothing. At home she has a boxful of little cards, with all the details written in. All the gossip.”
“It’s my system,” said Melissa, helping herself to more of the runny and tart summer pudding. “It’s so I can keep up with what the world is up to.”
“I hope you haven’t got one on me,” said Serena frostily.
“Actually… I haven’t.”
From his galley kitchen Josh had a fire escape down into his
garden which was invisible in the night. I sat with him there for a while, amongst the potted pansies and the garden gnomes. He picked one of these up. “We call this one The Shagging Gnome because it props the kitchen door open when it’s hot. It looks like he’s, um… shagging the bottom of the door.”
“Shagging is such a ridiculous word,” I said.
“I’m sorry my sister was here. She turned up and I couldn’t…”
“I think she’s funny. She takes the wind right out of Serena’s sails.”
“That’s good for Serena, once in a while, when the likes of your aunt spend their time puffing her up.” He looked at me. “You never flatter Serena. You treat her like you treat everyone else.”
“And how’s that?”
“I’m not sure yet.” He blew out his smoke in that way he had, all in one rush. “A nice way, I hope.”
“We’re daft sitting out in the cold.”
“It’s good.” He was thoughtful. “Sometimes I think our family has spoiled itself. Melissa the way she is, like a character out of Congreve. Married to that husband of hers. Me frittering my time away. Tootling and footling my time.”
“Hey, you say that, too!”
“There’s
