I moved from a lullaby to Aerosmith’s “Angel” which I had taken to singing to her as well. She loved Aerosmith. Just like her dad.
“As in it fell out of the sky on your head unannounced.” He stood there, arms folded, watching as I played.
“Totally like that. One day I’m a footloose pan dude loving and living the rock and roll hockey life, the next I’m a father. Talk about a radical wake-up call. Anyway, children’s services are now involved, and even though I’m her father legally, almost, and biologically, for sure, they’re stomping the states in search of her mother. She has to give up custody or something. I don’t know. My head is muzzy. Too little sleep and too many powdered doughnuts. Bottom line is that I need help here at home and I need it, like yesterday. We’re heading to Dallas in two days for the western division finals and I need certified childcare or they’ll take her back.”
“And that’s me?”
“Yeah, well, I hope so. You’re ridiculously cute, insanely protective, and come highly recommended. I’ll pay you whatever you want.” He gaped then snorted. “No, man, I’m totally serious. My whole hockey career is hanging by a thread. If I show up in Dallas like this,” I waved a hand at my pitiful self. “Coach will put my ass on the bench again. The owners will waiver me or something.”
“So are you a hockey player or a musician?” He crept around the piano to peek at Maddie who was sleeping peacefully while drooling steadily all over my chest.
“I’m both, winter goalie and summer rocker. We’re cutting a new album as soon as the season is over, so you’ll see my band mates a lot.” That brought the worried creases back. “No need to stress it. Simon is here to run the place like a boot camp. No booze, no drugs, no sexual escapades, no parties, no emus…”
“Emus?”
“Yeah, long story. Side B is that I want to do my best to be the father Maddie needs and the courts want to see. I need someone to help me walk the good daddy walk. You and Simon, as much as he annoys me, will do that.”
“The two of you stood in the hallway yelling at each other with a baby in the middle, that isn’t anywhere near trying to be a good dad.”
“Rome wasn’t built in a day, dude.”
“I’m reserving judgment,” he muttered, and didn’t take his eyes off Maddie.
“Does that mean you’re planning to stay? I’ll give you whatever you want. Money is not a problem. Gifts. Dude, see that blue Gibson on that stand beside the drums? Signed by Slash. Yours if you want it.”
“I don’t play guitar and I have no idea who Slash is.”
My fingers stalled. Maddie Boo snuffled. I resumed playing, this time Poison’s “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” to keep the mellow mood.
“Dude, you’re woefully out of touch with the greats of metal and rock. We’ll fix that. So, yeah, what say you? I’ll pay you two grand a week.”
His light blue eyes widened. “Two thousand a week?”
“Not enough? Three grand a week. Travel expenses are all on me when we go anywhere and you come along. Uhm, what else? Oh, yeah, the Gibson. Or that bass signed by Gene Simmons.”
He stared at me dully. Did he not know who Gene Simmons was or was he stunned stupid by the salary I’d offered. At this moment I’d have paid him ten grand a week if he would care for my baby so I could sleep. So much was riding on me and my performance as a father, a goalie, and a musician. I couldn’t fuck this up.
“Don’t you want to read over my credentials before you decide on a permanent childcare provider?”
God, he was cute. Such a clean-cut sort of Steve Rogers-before-the-serum vibe humming around him. Was he into dudes? Would that be on his résumé? If so, then yes I wanted to see his credentials as well as his dick.
Yo, asshole, you’re slipping into Liberty mode.
“Shit, yeah, sorry,” I coughed as my mind returned to my new life. “Sorry, yeah, I’m totally into seeing your credentials. I should have asked before but you were tossing around attitude like old women in the park chuck bird seed to the pigeons. Also, lack of sleep has made my brain goop. Like, in all honesty, I couldn’t remember my middle name when I was talking to my lawyer this morning.” I snorted in amusement at my bone-weary baked brain.
“The service should have sent them over via email, but I can tell you the gist of it.”
“Cool, gist all over me, man,” I mumbled as my fingers moved across the keys all by themselves.
Maddie was sound asleep, her tiny body all snug and warm next to my chest. I closed my eyes, inhaled, and sighed at the scent of baby shampoo. I wasn’t sure who her mama was but she and I had made one gorgeous kid. In a mere two weeks, I’d fallen so in love with my daughter it was frightening. I mean, I thought I’d loved other people, lots of them of every shape, color, age, and gender or non-gender. I worshipped my grandmother and felt a sharp sense of brotherhood with my teammates. I’d even cared deeply for a few people in that meaningful way one does another person. But never had I felt a bond like this. It scared the living hell out of me. Was it like this for all parents? Would it dwindle over time? Must be that it
