Joe and Maddie were tucked into the back, all safe and secure. Simon was driving. I had my ear buds in and was listening to my favorite guided meditation and self-actualization apps as we peeled away from the airport. I could just hear Maddie squealing in delight over the soft-spoken man in my ear telling me that it was good to accept myself and all my flaws. Which I did, thanks dude, sometimes it was just a little harder to do than others. I looked into the back. Joe was smiling down at my daughter, tickling her chin with the little purple stuffed frog she liked. She kicked her tiny feet in glee. Watching Joe with her gave me such peace. The two of them had become so important to me in such a short amount of time. It was dizzying.
I dozed a little on the ride home, coming awake sharply when Simon tugged my ear bud out so he could talk to me.
“Uhm, Colorado, I think we have a problem.”
I blinked madly, trying to clear my mind of sleep as I glanced at the front of my house. The front door was open and smoke was sneaking out of it. I was about to bellow for Simon to call the fire department when I spied the old pink VW van parked next to the wall. Like, right next to the house, on the southern side. She’d knocked over a birdbath by the looks.
“She’s here,” I grinned, flipping my seatbelt over my head and then pounding into the mansion. Simon and Joe, with Maddie in his arms, followed. “Oh cool, she’s smudging the place. It probably needed it. Alchemy!”
“What the hell is that stink?” Simon asked.
Joe coughed lightly then draped a thin blanket over Maddie’s fuzzy head to keep the smoke out of her tiny lungs.
“Sage. Alchemy!” I shouted, my voice bouncing around the massive house.
She emerged from the off-white living room, a tiny old woman in a gold and purple caftan, feet bare, gray plait draped over her left shoulder, fat-ass wad of dried, smoldering sage in her left hand. “There he is!” She pattered over to us, shoved the smudge bundle at Simon, and then pulled me down to kiss my forehead. I gazed into loving eyes so brown they were nearly black. She was well-wrinkled and a little bowed, but she exuded the power of a thousand stars in her heart. “Your aura is off,” she said with a squint. “Have you been processing your body’s leavings in a regular fashion? You always did tend to bind up easily. I think I have some powdered buckthorn trunk in the van. Do you have any rhubarb planted nearby? A little rhubarb makes a good stool softener.”
I gathered her in for a hug. Mostly because she was one of the most important people in the world to me. But also because if her face were smushed into my chest she could stop talking about my bowel movements. I kissed her head, inhaled the scent of patchouli and sage, and felt the lingering stress leaving my soul. Alchemy was here. Joe was here. And, above all else, Maddie was here, sneezing away under the lightweight duckie blanket.
“Is that my great-granddaughter I hear sniffing like a cat?” Alchemy broke free and hurried over to Joe. His eyes rounded. Hers narrowed. Simon was in the driveway hosing down the smudge. “Oh my, who is this? He has stars in his eyes.”
“Alchemy, this is Joseph, my nanny. And this,” I lifted the blanket off Madeline’s head, “is your great-granddaughter Madeline Celeste Penn.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Penn,” Joe replied politely.
“Such a polite fellow. I like that. He’s cute and his aura works in simpatico with yours. We’ll talk later about the challenges a Leo and a Pisces will have. Oh, look at this angel! She looks just like you did when you were a newborn. May I hold her?”
“Let’s go sit down first,” I said.
Joe nodded. My grandmother was a formidable woman but she was in her eighties and her strength wasn’t what it used to be. Someone dropping Maddie was one of my greatest fears. While Simon lugged in bags and called in for food delivery, Joe, Maddie, and I sat with Alchemy. The bond between the two Penn women was intense and true. Once the food arrived we all moved outside, ignoring the VW van parked on top of a flowering bush while an extension cord ran through a van window into a house window.
As the evening progressed we sprawled in the yard by the koi pond, Maddie snuggled up in a fuzzy sleeper with bunny ears, tucked safely in a playpen. The rest of us were spread out on pillows, a small brazier burning, Alchemy entertaining Simon and Joe with tale after tale of my misspent youth. I’d given up trying to stop her telling them and instead lay on my back, plucking at a ukulele that came with the VW van, and staring at the heavens.
“Why don’t you take the baby to bed, Joseph, then come back down. I have a bag of the best Blue Desert Floral I’ve ever grown. Colorado, go get my Yoda bong from the van. Oh! And my portable CD player so we can introduce these two to some Wiz Khalifa and Zeppelin.”
Joe and Simon both coughed and sputtered.
I sniggered. “Sorry, old woman, dank dope is not allowed on the premises anymore. Got to keep things clean for children’s services. They drop by all the damn time.”
Alchemy huffed and puffed a bit then went off to explore the countryside after getting a kiss from me and a buss of Maddie’s cheek.
“Uhm…” Joe said after Alchemy wandered to her
