‘Lovely. Of course that’s something I want to be involved in.’
He looked at her again, his eyes unfocused, his head tilting further back to the stairs behind him as he tried to focus on well, one of her, at least. Rebecca was pretty sure he was staring at more than one of her with his beer googles on.
‘Come on.’ She grabbed his arms as best she could whilst he was still waving them around and gave him a gentle tug. He didn’t move, just lay there, laughing to himself. Rebecca rolled her eyes and planted her feet firmly on the ground again, digging her toes into her slippers like little diggers.
‘Come … nnggggg … on!’ Heaving with all her might, she still only just managed to lift his back off the stairs.
‘For God’s sake, what did you drink? You’re like a ton of lead!’ Trying again, she went to plant her feet a bit further apart, only to be kicked in the knee by him trying to get up, taking her off balance. Not surprising really when he was flailing like a tortoise on its back.
‘Lead! You can’t drink l … oooo, saucy!’ He giggled again, catching her as she crashed into his body, headbutting him for good measure. His head was flung back onto the corner of the stair, making a small thud against the carpet. ‘Oww, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to do that!’ He grabbed at her to steady them both, and before Rebecca could even process what was happening, her face was inches from his, and his arms were around her tight, his grip now as solid as a rock. His hands were also however, planted squarely on her bottom. He literally has my butt cheeks in his hands. I can feel the heat coming through the flannel material.
He lay back again, wincing at the pain no doubt caused by her collapsing onto him, but then he looked right at her, his piercing green eyes flicking all over the features of her face, his hands squeezing the globes of her backside still.
‘Shall we try this again?’ she asked reluctantly. She knew she should be mortified, angry even, but in all honesty, it was the most action she’d had in a while that wasn’t either a dream or a romantic scene from one of her favourite books. The thought was so depressing. She motioned to lift herself off him, but he held her firm.
‘Just give me a minute, okay? Ev’finks spinnning. Feel a bit sick. You’re really pretty, you’snow that?’ His eyelids were fluttering now, his dark lashes longer and more noticeable than Rebecca had first realised. He sighed heavily, treating her to a good dose of spirit-laden breath. Wow, a girl could get drunk just off the fumes he was expelling. ‘I want to make fings alright, you know? These things have to be sorted, they have to be, don’t they? Sometimes you just have to try, right? When things are bad, and the frozen chips are gone.’ Rebecca had no idea what he was spouting on about, but he was looking intently at her. Waiting for an answer to a question he hadn’t even asked, or at least, not in a coherent way. She’d half suspected when he’d arrived that his chips were down, but she didn’t want a drunken confessional dragging her into it. She looked down at him, and realised that she could do one of two things. She could utterly crush him and tell him that there was no point in trying anything or bothering with anyone. People went away when everything fell apart anyway, no one wants to see the ugly aftermath. Love doesn’t conquer all, it buggers off and pleases itself. There was no meaning of life, it was just a case of survival.
Or, she could cut the poor super dork a break, and maybe even get some more sleep. Looking down at him, she smiled at him kindly, speaking to him in her nicest voice. The real one, not the customer version.
‘You do, you’re right. You should absolutely go do all of that, but not tonight, eh? It’s been a long day for you. A good night’s sleep is just the ticket.’ She reached back and slowly tugged his hands off her behind, placing them in her hands. ‘Now come on, upppp!’
She pulled back with all her batter-whipping strength, standing up and finally bringing Luke to a standing position with her. He teetered a little, Rebecca pushing gently on his chest to steady him. Huh, she felt a muscle. Maybe his office had a gym. She turned him around, pushing him gently towards the stairs. She daren’t put his arm over her shoulders – one wrong move and they would both be down them arse over tit. Instead she opted for half pushing him, half dragging him up the stairs. All the while he was muttering about somebody being stubborn, and how he was going to help. Seemingly whether they wanted it or not. Another poor sod who was having their life meddled with. All this was whilst he was singing a medley of various testosterone-soaked hits from the 1980s. Mostly the high-pitched ones, naturally. She managed to get him up to her place, quickly closing the door at the top to prevent any further tumbles. Turning round, she started to talk to him, but he’d gone.
‘Luke?’ she called out, feeling weird shouting a man’s name in her home. Nothing. She was about to call again when she heard the clang of a belt buckle, a zip, and then the distinct tinkle of running water. In desperate hope, she ran past the empty guest room to the bathroom, but flicking the light on, she found the room empty.
‘Luke!’ She shouted again, louder and more frantic this time, running from room to room to find them all empty.
‘If I lay heeerreee, if I just llllaaayy hereeee, would you lie with meeee and just forget the worlddddd!’
Oh my
