Meet Me at Fir Tree Lodge

he fell asleep, she’d watched him still. Just the sound of him breathing, in her space, felt so unreal. Her mother had always told her that no woman was an island, that she needed people, but till now, she’d always disagreed. She’d fallen asleep that way, lulled by the feel of him there. She’d told him about herself, about Robbie, the whole mess, and he’d not even flinched. The way he’d looked at Robbie, she knew that he hated him for his part. His lashing out at her. Which was what had made her think twice about why she’d never questioned it. Not once. She’d taken the blame really, slunk off. He’d not got his way, but he’d moved on from it. He’d stepped back into his life, and she’d shut herself away. It had taken a man that had never got on a plane before to remind her that she wasn’t living life, or moving on. She was stuck. Not making any choices was the same as not trying, letting things pass her by. The envelope in her apron was just as bad as the competition forms in her bedside drawer. They were instruments of bloody torture. Grabbing her phone, she dialled Eloise.

‘Hi Eloise, it’s Rebecca, from Alpine Bites. Yeah honey, we are busy early. I wondered …’

Eloise lived nearby, and currently had a husband who was working from home after an op on his knee. She’d said yes and put her bag on her arm before Rebecca even finished the sentence.

‘That’s great, you are amazing. Ha ha, yes, still illegal to murder him though. Tell him to ring his mother if he can’t work out the washing machine. Don’t try to batter him with it! See you soon, give him my love. Au revoir, ma cherie.’

She normally put most of the extra staff off as long as she could, her usual Grinch-like tendencies spreading to work colleagues too after a while, but she wanted to read what Luke had to say, and she wanted to ring her mother too. It was time.

Chapter 8

Friday was relatively uneventful in the café. They’d had an injury or two limp in for a shot of sugar and caffeine, to nurse their wounds. A lot of families were on the resort, and the café had been busy with the chatter of kids laughing, falling out over who had the biggest slice of cake, and who was the ‘sickest’ and ‘peng’ on a pair of skis. Rebecca laughed as she saw one of the fathers roll his eyes when his seven-year-old called him ‘Bro’.

‘I swear, when I was a kid I would have been just like them.’ Eloise looked to where Rebecca had nodded, laughing herself when she saw the father of the boy take a huge gulp of coffee and roll his eyes at the laughing mother. She patted the kid on the top of his head, ruffling his hair. The boy smiled, hot chocolate and cream all around his beaming mouth. Rebecca remembered the letter, and asked Eloise if she could nip off. Luke had not long ago gone to practise skiing, so the lodge was empty upstairs. Eloise waved her off, holding out a steaming hot mug of coffee as she passed, her apron still on. Rebecca smiled gratefully at her friend and employee, and headed upstairs, closing the door behind her. She headed to her room, just in case Luke nipped back home and saw her in the lounge, and took out the envelope Luke had given her. Taking a deep breath, she pushed her index finger under the flap, and ripped open the paper. Inside, was a photo and a collection of clippings from magazines. She looked closer, and saw the Alps in one. She read the writing and smiled. It was a plan, it seemed, a road map for family life. Luke’s family. She frowned, knowing it couldn’t quite have gone like that. She turned the page over, and it was empty. The remaining two pages were different to each other. Both were handwritten, but their age difference was evident. One page was crisp, white and covered in Luke’s handwriting. Her name was at the top. The other was more delicate, yellowed and the texture of a moth’s wing. The writing was different, more sweeping. Feminine.

A list for our life

1. We must all make time to ski. There is nothing better than the view from the top of a mountain.

2. We must be daring. We must always say yes to challenges, enter competitions. Be in it to win it!

3. We must protect the things we love, at all costs.

4. We must never be too scared to try. Failure is part of life.

5. We must always take photos, make videos, and make memories.

6. We must make our house a home. Love is where you lay your head.

7. We must never be sad, when things don’t go our way. Getting back up is what counts.

Rebecca drew a deep breath when she read that line. If this was Luke’s mother writing this, she was not surprised that Luke was such a good guy.

The rest were more specific: days out, camping trips. Luke had mentioned some of them in passing when they’d been talking. They talked a lot now, even if the deeper stuff was still something she pushed down. Inaudible.

It made sense now, why he was coming to do this. How could he not, having seen this? He’d started right at the top. Putting the paper outside, she began to read Luke’s letter. Tucking her legs under her, she sat back against the headboard.

Rebecca

I’ve been trying to tell you why I came here, but we always seem to get interrupted, or I fall over and take half your worldly goods out with me. My mother died when I was born, and my father seemed to watch the film Finding Nemo once and take life lessons from Marlin. He followed that list, the list that he and my mother made