‘Rebecca, come on. Don’t do that!’ Her mum patted the screen with her fingers, making it go haywire for a second. ‘These bloody touch screens!’ She jabbed at the screen, and Rebecca had stopped crying enough to see her mother come back into view. ‘Don’t do that. I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone! Why didn’t you tell me!’
‘Because you don’t listen Mum! You never do. You never listen to what I actually say. You hear what you want to hear.’ She blew her nose on an old tissue from the bed, honking loudly. ‘Oh, what’s the point.’ She flopped back on the bed, her head hitting the pillows. Taking the phone with her, her mother was still staring at her.
‘I do listen Rebecca, but I worry about you.’ Her face softened. ‘This is the first time I’ve had any emotion but ignorance and pure anger from you in years.’ Her mother went to the fridge and Rebecca saw her pull out a corked bottle of Chardonnay.
‘Mum, day drinking is going a bit far. I’m not that bad.’
Her mother ignored her, taking a glass from the cabinet on her way back to the table. Putting Rebecca back resting on the prop, she slowly poured the wine to the brim.
‘Bugger it, it’s good for you now and again.’ She took a deep sip and looked at the camera.
‘Rebecca Daphne Atkins, I love you, but you are a huge worry for me.’
‘Mum, not a lect—’
‘I’m talking now, I have the talking glass.’ She raised her glass and took another sip. ‘When you were a girl, you wanted to walk. So badly, you didn’t even wait to crawl. Do you know that? You didn’t want to take that middle step, and you were like that your whole life. When my friends’ daughters and sons were getting married, having babies, going to university, I used to look at you and think, she knows what she wants.’
Rebecca lay there, listening to her mother speak.
‘You always knew what you wanted, till that day. You never needed an audience, you never wanted anyone to notice, you just loved it. When your accident happened, I felt like you died.’
Rebecca was stunned. ‘I thought they called you, right after.’ She realised that for the first time, she was thinking about how her mother and father must have felt. Her dad never gave her any grief like her mother had, but he had treated her differently than before when they spoke on the phone. She never wanted them to come cheer her on, but they always watched back home. If I ever had a daughter, and saw her go through that, well. ‘The team had your details, I made sure they called.’
Cecilia Daphne Atkins pulled the screen closer.
‘You are my baby, my bright shining star, and you were hurt. Hundreds of miles away, on your own, without us. Your father nearly had kittens on the sofa. You didn’t die that day, but I never got my daughter back. The last time we spoke before the accident, you were so happy. Excited for the future, the competition. After, I couldn’t even get you to call me back. Robbie went AWOL. The man spent Christmases here, but he was just gone. Unavailable. What did you want me to do? You didn’t want me there.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me how you felt?’ Rebecca realised that she had been punishing her mother for trying to get her daughter back.
Cecilia smiled, her eyes filling again. ‘Because you were shattered, my darling, I didn’t want you to hate me any more than you already did. I just wanted you to try again, to be you. Whatever “you” was. I know I put you under pressure, but you never told me anything! I just wanted you to be happy again.’
‘I saw Robbie,’ she admitted, and her mother’s face was a picture. ‘He’s come back for the competition. It didn’t go well.’
Her mother sat back in her chair, filling her wine glass up.
‘Your dad never liked him, you know.’
‘Where is Dad?’
Cecilia thumbed behind her to the open patio doors that led out to the garden. ‘He’s in his man cave, banging about. He’s in a mood, the football match didn’t go well.’
Rebecca rolled her eyes, wincing at the pain it produced. It felt like a tequila worm was burrowing into her forehead with Doc Martens on.
‘Typical Dad.’
‘Yeah I know. I should have held out a bit longer before I married him. Could have trained him up a bit more.’
They giggled together, and Rebecca realised that this was the first conversation they had had in forever that didn’t end up in an argument.
‘I told him off. Robbie, not Luke. Well, I told Luke off too.’ She looked towards the door, but he wasn’t magically standing there. ‘That’s why he left. Why didn’t Dad like Robbie, anyway? He never showed it.’
Cecilia took another sip.
‘He put up with him because you were happy, or we thought you were.’
Rebecca pushed the air out of her lips with a pfff sound.
‘He thought my accident was going to be the springboard for a whole new life, a life I never wanted. I just didn’t want to anymore.’
‘And now?’
Rebecca pursed her lips.
‘Luke entered me into the competition. The Alpine Challenge. It’s in seven weeks. He’s in it too, novice round. He thought I needed a push.’
‘Sounds familiar. Have you called him?’
Rebecca shook her head. ‘Not yet. You woke me, remember?’
Her mother groaned.
‘Again, only teenagers sleep till this time on a weekend.’
Rebecca opened her mouth to say something catty back, an old habit, but her mother placed both hands on the table and leaned in.
‘Rebecca, I know it’s been hard, God knows I do. I just want you to know, whatever you decide, it’s fine with us. If you want to come home, start again, I won’t give you any hassle.’ Rebecca’s snort said it all. ‘I mean it love. Your dad
