“Hey,” he says tentatively.
“Congratulations.”
“Thanks.”
We both shift awkwardly, and I step forward and hug him. He hugs me back but hisses through his teeth.
“Oh, shit, sorry.” I step back as he winces. “You got tossed around like a rag doll out there tonight.”
“Yeah, it got a little rough.”
“Are you headed to The Hideout?”
“That was the plan, unless…”
“Yeah, you should go. It was a big victory.”
“You’re not coming?” There’s obvious disappointment on his face.
“Not tonight. Dakota and I are going to watch Reagan’s play. It’s opening night. But maybe we can talk tomorrow?”
“Really?” He looks so excited about it, I can’t help but smile.
“Yeah, really. We should talk. It isn’t like we can avoid each other forever.”
“Wouldn’t want to even if I could.” I’m at a loss for words and he takes my hand. “Just give me a chance to explain.”
I nod and take a step away, breaking our contact. “Tomorrow.”
Seeing Reagan perform a second time is just as amazing as the first, and bonus that I get to watch as Dakota and the rest of the crowd react.
“She’s so damn talented,” Dakota says when it’s over. She wipes an honest to goodness tear from her eye. “I don’t even like theater.”
“Let’s go find her. She said she’d meet us out in the lobby.”
I’m surprised to see my brother and Rhett as we crowd into the lobby with everyone else. Their tall and muscular frames make them easy to find, but getting to them takes a few minutes. When we do, I ask the obvious question, “What are you two doing here?”
A quick scan of them, and I can tell they’re in their travel suits for away games.
Adam hugs me. “She always comes to support us, so we thought we’d return the favor.”
“That’s really nice of you. What’d you think?” I ask Rhett.
“I don’t really like theater, but Reagan’s part was cool.”
“Maybe you could leave out the first part when you see her,” I tell him as I spot her. “She’s over there. Come on.”
40
Heath
After having a beer with some of the guys on the team at The Hideout, I head back to the apartment. My latest care package from Nathan and Chloe is waiting for me and I open it (definitely Chloe put this one together—it’s covered in gold tissue paper) and call my brother.
“Thank Chloe for the package.” I lie down on my bed and stare up at the ceiling.
“You can thank her yourself in three weeks. We’re flying up to watch you play the weekend before Christmas.”
“For real?” I ask and sit up.
“Yeah, Mom too. She didn’t tell you?”
“Uh…”
“You haven’t talked to her, have you?”
“She’s my next call.” I pull the phone away from my ear and look at the time. “Or tomorrow, maybe, it’s kind of late there.”
“She’ll be up. You know what a night owl she is. Call her.”
“I will, I will,” I say begrudgingly.
“I get it,” he says. “Trust me, I do. I did the same thing. I got to Valley and tried to live like the past hadn’t happened. I barely talked to you or Mom my first two years of college.”
“I know, I remember.” I’d been sad at first and then pissed. Dad died, then Nathan left, Mom got worse, and before I knew it, everything had changed except me.
“She’s trying. I know it doesn’t magically make up for everything, but you can’t be pissed at her forever if you really want to move on.”
“I’m not pissed,” I say and then backtrack. “Okay, maybe a little pissed.”
“If it helps, the more I talk to her now, the easier it gets and the less I find myself thinking about the past.”
“Yeah, all right.”
“Well, I’ve gotta get to bed. We’re flying to New York early tomorrow, but I’m really excited to see you in a few weeks. Also, Chloe started Christmas shopping two months ago, so be prepared—her level of excitement is intense.”
“Can’t wait,” I say honestly. It’s been a long time since we’ve had a holiday together or really any time together.
After we hang up, I call Mom, but she doesn’t answer, so I shoot her a text and then change into sweats.
She returns my call as I fall back on my bed. “Hey, sorry I missed your call, my hands were covered in cookie dough. I’m doing some late-night baking.”
“No problem. I’m about to head to bed.”
“Have you talked to Nathan? Did he tell you we’re coming to Valley?” Her voice is upbeat, and I realize she’s excited, which makes me more excited.
“Yeah, I just got off the phone with him. I can’t believe you guys are all coming.”
“Visiting you at college and then your brother and Chloe coming home for Thanksgiving reminded me how much I miss my boys. I was so focused on myself and getting healthy that I’ve let us all go too long without getting together.”
“You’re doing great, Mom.” She really is and it only takes her voicing her own regrets to make me feel like a giant douche for holding the past against her. I haven’t magically forgiven her, and I don’t know how long it’ll be until I do, but I know Nathan is right—I’ve gotta meet her where she is now if I want any type of relationship with her.
The thing is I don’t avoid calling her because I don’t want her in my life. I’m just having a hard time figuring out what that looks like now while I try to let go of years of hurt I didn’t even realize I was harboring until she was well enough for me to take a breath.
“I am,” she says confidently. “And so are you. I’m so proud of you.”
I clear my throat. “Thanks, Mom.”
“Three weeks! I can’t wait. I’m making a test batch of oatmeal raisin cookies now.”
My stomach growls. “Those are my favorite.”
“I know. I haven’t made them in years.”
The more we make
