“Not at all,” I whispered, instantly feeling bad for disturbing his sleep. I tucked his thick blond hair behind his ear. “Sorry for waking you.”
He and I had been sharing a recovery bed for two weeks now while the other werewolves cycled through. Both Chad and I had been going in and out of recovery sleeps and keeping each other company as the good doc operated on us. The gun that Oliver shot Chad with had thankfully been loaded with regular, run-of-the-mill lead and copper ammo. The bullet had also gone in one side and out the other, which helped with healing, or so Lucas told us.
Even though Chad and I were almost always sleeping, his living, breathing presence reassured me every moment of the day. He was alive. He was going to live. We both were healing from our injuries. It didn’t even seem possible, but we both somehow survived Oliver Hunt.
“You’re awake,” Jasper’s familiar voice growled from the doorway.
“We fell asleep.” I yawned and lifted my head to look over at the burly alpha. “What time is it?”
“Almost six.” His bright blue eyes met mine, and a warm smile spread across his lips.
“Six? Are you serious?” A bubbling excitement rose in my belly, and I couldn’t help but smile. “Lucas finally agreed to have our date tonight, and my lazy ass almost napped through it.”
“I’m sure Lucas wouldn’t mind pushing the date to next week if you don’t feel up to it,” Jasper said.
“No. Nope. I’m up to it.” I scooted to the end of the bed and set my feet down on the cold wood flooring. My newly healed soles ached as I put weight on them, but it was a low throbbing pain, nothing like the sharp slicing agony that I’d been feeling for weeks.
Jasper stepped into the room. “You want me to carry you?”
“No—no thanks.” I waved him off. My feet were a little sore and legs just a tad bit wiggly under me, but if I had Jasper carry me around, Lucas would more than likely postpone our date once again.
Jasper tilted his head. “Which way are you heading?”
“The bathtub,” I said as I placed one hand on the wall and headed for that side of the room.
Jasper pushed off the wall and headed past me, and a moment later, the sound of running water crashed down, and steam billowed out of the bathroom door. When I finally made it into the room, I found Jasper leaning down with one hand trailing in the water, his face tense with concentration. “I think this is the temperature you like.”
I leaned into the counter. “You’re always taking care of me, Jasper.”
My throat clogged, and I couldn’t find the words to say all the things I needed to say. It had been two weeks, and he and I had yet to talk about everything Oliver revealed that horrible night. The knowledge just sat there between us, this massive woolly mammoth in the room. I was a mass-murderer. I killed every person who wronged me or my family, and yes, I hadn’t had a choice, but it still had been my hand that wielded that blade. Oliver had told Jasper the most hideous, unforgivable part of my past. I had been the one who watched the life fade from their eyes. They had begged me to stop, not Kane or anyone else. They begged me, and I killed them.
I shivered, even though the room was warm.
“I’ll leave you to it, then.” Jasper stood and headed for the door, and the rock forming in my throat grew exponentially.
“Jasper, I…”
He turned, and his beautiful blue eyes met mine.
The knot in my throat grew so large, there was no possible way that I could speak, so I just shook my head.
“Thank you,” I managed.
“I understand why you were willing to risk your life to protect Oliver Hunt,” Jasper said as if he read my mind. “I hope you don’t think that played any part in what happened to Chad.”
“Of course it did,” I whispered.
Jasper’s jaw clenched, and he shook his head slowly. “That part is entirely my fault, Teagan. You don’t get to share the blame for that one.”
“I stopped you from killing Oliver, and Oliver shot Chad in the head,” I said. “It seems pretty simple to me.”
“It wasn’t that simple. Chad is used to having public orgies in our living room. He’s overtly sexual, and I was afraid that his nature would scare you away. So, I pushed him into situations he shouldn’t have been put in and punished him for being himself.” Jasper sighed. “Chad was not the right person to guard you. I should have assigned Declan to the job. It had needled me at the time, but I wanted to show you that Chad wasn’t a threat to you.”
I nodded because even though Jasper wasn’t directly addressing what he had assumed, I immediately got his meaning. Jasper had assumed that Kane forced me to have sex with him. It was the obvious assumption, but Kane had wanted me to fulfill a different need in him.
“Kane killed seven wives before he found me. He felt a need to control every moment of their day. Any disobedience from his previous wives sent him into a rage, and he murdered them. Afterward, he felt so much remorse that he’d pledge to never marry again. But…” I paused to turn off the faucet and dip my fingers in the warm water. The heat did nothing to warm the chill that was running through me from my memories of the alpha who claimed to be my husband. “Kane is lonely. That’s too sweet a word for what he is. I guess the true words for what
