I shake my head, staring out my window.
“But then another part of me thought about how the boy could grow up to be completely different. The exact opposite of his father. He might become a doctor. Instead of killing thousands of people, maybe he would help thousands of people. Just because his father was a drug lord didn’t mean he would follow the same path.”
Nova says, “Do you know what somebody once said about that baby Hitler time travel thing? That maybe Hitler would have grown up being a perfectly normal human being. Maybe he would have been a saint. But then all these time travelers kept showing up trying to kill him, and that soured him on humanity and he decided to be a giant dick.”
There’s another beat of silence, Nova letting the joke hang there, and then I burst out laughing. I can’t help it. I can’t remember the last time I laughed like this, and it feels good. For a moment I don’t think about the charred bodies of Javier Diaz’s children. I don’t think about Gabriela and her grandmother. I don’t think about Yolanda and Antonio and all the rest of the townspeople of La Miserias. For a moment, my mind is simply filled with the rush of laughter, and it’s bliss.
Then I wipe at my eyes and settle back in my seat and glance again at Nova.
“So what’s your plan once we return to the States?”
Nova doesn’t answer right away, his focus once again on the highway. His grin has faded, and his face has gone all at once somber.
I say, “Did I hit a nerve?”
He shakes his head.
“No. It’s just, well, something happened recently that made me think about my old man.”
“You know, in all the time we’ve known each other, I don’t think you ever once told me about your parents.”
“Nothing to tell. My mom died a long time ago. My dad … well, he’s just a son of a bitch.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“It’s not your fault. But when Atticus called me about you needing help down here, I asked him to do me a favor.”
“What’s that?”
“Try to track down my old man.”
“You want closure, huh?”
“Something like that.”
There’s another lengthy silence. I go back to staring out my window. I know what I need to tell Nova now, but part of me wants to stay quiet. To keep what I need to tell him a secret.
“Nova?”
“Yeah.”
“I talked to him.”
“Who?”
“My father.”
Nova’s quiet for a beat, and then he glances at me, incredulous.
“You’re joking.”
“I’m not.”
“When?”
“The night after all that shit went down with Zane and Walter’s children.”
I say it like it happened years ago when in reality it hasn’t even been two weeks. Zane kidnapping Walter Hadden’s children because he wanted me to steal something. I stole that something, but I didn’t give it to Zane. Instead, I killed Zane.
“Zane had a phone on him. I didn’t tell Walter. I didn’t even tell Atticus. There were three numbers on the recent call list—my apartment number, the number to a cell Zane had waiting for me in my car, and a foreign exchange. After you came to clean up Javier Diaz and his men’s bodies in my apartment building, I went to see my mom before I headed south. But before I saw her, I called that foreign exchange number.”
“And your father answered.”
Nova doesn’t bother making it a question.
I close my eyes and think about sitting in my car outside my mother’s house. Zane’s cell phone to my ear, the phone ringing four times, and then somebody on the other end simply answering Yes?
When I don’t immediately answer, Nova asks, “What did he say?”
“Nothing. I did all the talking.”
“And?”
“I told him Zane was dead. I told him he disgusted me. I told him he was no longer my father. I told him he should have killed me back in that alleyway in Paris, because the next time we met …”
“What?”
I shake my head.
“That was it. I let it hang there. He’s smart enough to know what I meant. I disconnected the call and turned off the phone. Then I went and saw my mother and acted like I hadn’t just learned her husband was still alive after all these years.”
Nova opens his mouth, starts to say something, but then shakes his head.
I ask, “What?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Say it, Nova.”
“You quit, Holly. So did I. We both walked away from what it is we do best, and now your father is out there doing God knows what.”
“Your point?”
“You can’t feel good about that.”
“Of course I don’t feel good about that. But what do you want me to do? Beg Walter for my job back? He’s not too happy with me right now. Shit, I’m not too happy with him. He knew about my father this entire time and didn’t tell me. No, I think it’s a good thing I quit. Maybe I can actually start having a normal life.”
Nova snorts at that.
I give him a dirty look.
“What’s so funny?”
“You having a normal life. I’m sorry, Holly, but in case you didn’t realize it, people like us don’t have normal lives.”
“A girl can dream, can’t she?”
“Speaking of which …”
Nova reaches into the backseat, fumbles with the luggage bag, pulls out the Holy Bible, and tosses it in my lap.
“I think it’s time we find out your new identity.”
I stare down at the bible. The ID and passport are inside the flaps. All I need to do is tear them out. It would be so simple.
Nova says, “Well?”
I pick up the bible. I heft its small weight in my hands, and then I shake my head and toss the bible in the backseat.
Nova says,
