I open my mouth but then shut it and just shake my head.
We sit there then, both of us silent, both of us allowing that invisible wall to rebuild itself again until a couple minutes pass and my sister comes in, asking us how we’re doing.
Twenty-Five
We take the orange line to Metro Center, then get on the red line and take that to Gallery Place-Chinatown. It’s almost noontime and the trains are busy, the stations even more so.
Both David and Casey are excited. The movie they’re seeing today is the new Pixar; they’ve been talking about it ever since they first saw the teaser trailer a year ago.
We come up from under the Verizon Center to the movie theater. Tina and the boys are waiting for us.
“I’ve already got the tickets,” my sister says.
Matthew and Max smile and talk with David. Nobody pays attention to little Casey, who stands beside me, holding my hand.
Tina leans forward and smiles at Casey. “Excited about the movie?”
Casey nods.
Tina holds out her hand. “Well, come on then, let’s go inside. We’ll get some popcorn.”
“Popcorn!” the three boys yell at once.
Casey looks at Tina’s outstretched hand, looks up at me.
“Go ahead,” I say. “Have fun.”
Casey is still hesitant. That’s just the way she is, even around people she knows.
“Come on, Casey,” David says, grabbing her other hand.
She lets go of my hand, allows her brother to drag her toward the boys.
Tina smiles at me. “The natives are restless.”
I just nod, sweeping my gaze around at the people walking here and there. I’m wearing one of Tina’s old pantsuits—there was nothing suitable in my closet—and it’s a little too tight around the shoulders.
“Nervous?”
I nod again.
She reaches out, places a hand on my arm. “Don’t worry, Holly. You’ll do fine.”
I try to smile but it’s difficult, almost impossible, and so I just shrug my tightly wrapped shoulders and say nothing.
“Remember what Ryan said. Just relax and be yourself.”
“Mom called me this morning.”
“She did?”
“She invited me to dinner tonight.”
“And you’re going?”
“I couldn’t think up a good enough excuse in time so I had no choice.”
“That’s good,” Tina says. “You both should talk.”
“Oh, shut up.”
“Excuse me?”
“It’s pretty odd Mom calling me up out of nowhere on the day of a job interview. I could tell she was dying to wish me good luck.”
Holding a hand to her chest, looking completely perplexed, Tina says, “And you think I had anything to do with it?”
I glance past her to where the kids are congregating, David talking to the boys. He keeps pulling away from his sister but Casey keeps grabbing at his hand, wanting that physical link.
“You better get going,” I say.
Tina glances at her watch. “You better get going, too.” She leans forward, kisses me on the cheek. “Good luck.”
I nod again and then just stand there and watch Tina lead her charges into the lobby, each of the kids glancing back and waving. Casey is the last and it’s no surprise when she breaks away from the group and hurries over to me. Her eyes are starting to water.
I crouch down so I’m on her level and she wraps her arms around my neck.
“Why are you leaving us?” she near-sobs.
“I’m not leaving you.”
“But you aren’t coming with us.”
“I’ll be right back. When the movie’s over, I’ll be waiting for you.”
She wipes at her eyes, at her nose. For an instant I understand she never acts this way with her mother and a heavy needle pierces my heart.
“Promise?” she asks.
“I promise.”
Tina slowly makes her way over to us, asking me with a look if everything’s okay.
“You don’t want to miss the movie now, do you?” I ask.
Casey wipes again at her eyes, quickly shakes her head.
“Then you better hurry. Especially if you want popcorn.”
Tina steps up behind her, leans down and whispers in her ear. Casey stares back at me as she listens and then she nods and takes Tina’s hand and walks with Tina toward the boys.
I want to keep standing there, watching them, but I don’t want to be late either, so I quickly turn and head back to the station.
I take the red line to Metro Center, switch to the blue line that takes me to McPherson Square. Soon I start up 15th Street, take a left and head west on K Street. Five minutes later I come to the large glass building that is Ryan’s firm and I open the door to enter but pause.
This is it, I think. Through these doors is another life. No more Walter. No more Nova. No more killing. No more Casey and David, either. No more trying to make the world a better place. No more Holly Lin.
Twenty-Six
The interview doesn’t last long. A glance at my résumé, a few questions asked, and then a handshake and a promise that they’ll be in touch.
I wait in the lobby of the movie theater almost an hour before the film lets out. David and the boys lead the pack, David bear-hugging the nearly empty tub of popcorn. Matthew keeps sticking his hand in, keeps shoveling popcorn into his mouth, Max and David laughing and laughing while yellow puffs fall everywhere.
Tina doesn’t notice their shenanigans because right now she’s busy tending to Casey. Casey’s face is red and there are tears in her eyes. She isn’t crying now but it’s clear she has been.
When the boys see me they head in my direction. Tina follows, holding Casey’s hand, and when Casey sees me she lets go and hurries toward me.
“What’s wrong?” I ask her, feeling a strange sense of déjà vu, understanding in this moment that I cannot leave this girl, not ever.
Tina answers for Casey. “There was a sad part near the end. You know, they make you think the hero doesn’t make it but she overcomes it and everything is okay.”
“Then why are you so sad?” I ask Casey.
