Doctor Goebbels: His Life & Death

have been named ‘second man’ after Hitler,given that he had been hobnobbing with occultists, astrologers, and hypnotists.11 Inan impotent frenzy Goebbels banned all such charlatans.12 If explaining Barbarossawas going to be tricky for Goebbels, explaining the Hess affair seemed impossible.He found his department heads waiting for him on the tarmac at Tempelhof.13 ‘Anydoctor will tell you,’ he said, taking them aside, ‘that there are crazy people whoseem all along to be perfectly normal and lucid, but at a certain time of life fall preyto irrational, mad delusions.’ It was as simple as that: Hess had deluded himself thathe could single-handed make peace with the British people. Goebbels had persuadedHitler, he continued, that they should not breathe one more word about it, and heoffered to his dubious colleagues this analogy: a society hostess gives a dinner party;just as they all enter the dining room, her darling whippet dumps a sizeable dogpoohon the priceless Persian carpet. What now? Taking her escort’s arm, she stridesover to the table acting as though the Malodorous Thing does not exist. ‘The MalodorousThing in our case,’ he concluded, ‘is the befuddled Mr Hess. He no longerexists.’14He repeated this in more clinical language the next morning.15 ‘Remember theRöhm affair,’ he said. ‘We shot our mouths off on that occasion with the result that642 GOEBBELS. MASTERMIND OF THE THIRD REICHthe public talked of little else for years… In any case something is about to happen inthe military sphere, and this will district attention from Hess.’16AFTER the Hess incident Goebbels spends two days at Bad Aussee. His children arestaying nearby with Magda, Ursula Quandt, and his mother. He gives all three ladiespresents for Mother’s Day.17 At Aussee he gathers the villagers around and talks untillate about their Führer (‘He is an idol to us all’). He touches fleetingly upon the Hessaffair, but realizes that it means no more to these simple peasants than a nick whileshaving.18 His methods have worked.Back at Lanke, Ello Quandt visits him. She is our source for an episode which inbald outline has Magda suffering a nervous breakdown after witnessing a femalesecretary clambering from the gardens into her husband’s study one night. She hystericallytells Ello that she’s going to sue for divorce.19 The only secretary to whomthe diary lays clues is the sweetly-named Helga Hoenig, and the date is May 27,1941. Magda is already in a state of nerves because Göring’s costly airborne assaulton Crete has just begun, casualties among the paratroops are heavy, and she is worriedabout Harald.20 Goebbels meticulously informs his diary that he has been sittingup late working on a new book.21 ‘Fräulein Hoenig helps me with this very assiduously.’22 It is fair to observe that his female staff very rarely rate such a mention in hisdispatches; and to speculate that he, the master of all alibis, is creating yet another.Ello phones Goebbels to advise him to head off Magda. The diary shows that heindeed drives over to Schwanenwerder. ‘Magda’s heart is playing up. She’s got into astate again, what with the worry about Harald.’23 They have a ‘little chat’. He hopesthat she will soon get better. He drives back to Lanke alone. Neither has touchedupon the window-climbing secretary. ‘The crafty fox ran rings round me again,’ Magdatells Ello as her husband drives away. Ello asks why she puts up with it all.‘Look at me, Ello,’ is the reply. ‘I’m growing old. These girls are twenty yearsyounger—and they haven’t had seven children.’24ON distant battlefields the gods of war still thundered. From Rommel’s HQ in NorthGOEBBELS. MASTERMIND OF THE THIRD REICH 643Africa Alfred-Ingemar Berndt, his new aide, sent Goebbels dramatic reports aboutTobruk.25 In Munich the sinister Martin Bormann took over Hess’s vacant role ashead of the Party Chancellery. Goebbels neither liked nor trusted him, and he woulddeal with him only at arm’s length through Walter Tiessler. When Bormann began avicious campaign against the churches, it was Goebbels who told him—throughTiessler—to lay off.26In Crete the desperate fighting came to an end. Herbert Heiduschke was alreadydead and buried at Khania; his death affected Goebbels deeply, if his diary is to bebelieved.27 Churchill alleged that Hitler’s paratroops had worn New Zealand uniforms.Why not as postmen, Goebbels scoffed to his department heads. ‘They’vealready had us in priests’, nuns’, and Dutchmen’s uniforms.’28 Göring himself telephonedthat Harald was alive—there was a pleasing humanity about theReichsmarschall, Goebbels observed, which people like Bormann lacked. He promisedto Harald later that he would see he was provided for even if he was no longeraround to do so in person. ‘He always treated me like his own son,’ Harald saidlater.29Endless troop transports had begun heading east. Rumours were rife, most of themdeliberately planted by Goebbels.30 ‘People abroad no longer know which canard tobelieve,’ he congratulated himself.31 There was talk that Stalin and Hitler were aboutto meet: that Stalin was to lease the Ukraine to Germany for ninety-nine years: thata state visit to Berlin was imminent: and that millions of red flags were already beingstitched.32 Goebbels lifted his wartime ban on dancing as a hint that the Nazi appetitewas momentarily gorged. All Germany knew of immense troops movements headingwest for the invasion of England—some people had actually seen the troop trainsbeing loaded at Grunewald station. He briefed Dr Glasmeier to select new Englandfanfares, he activated English-speaking propaganda companies, and he held a topsecretconference of department heads on the last day of May to confide to them thatGermany was about to invade England.33About the real truth—Barbarossa—he briefed only a tiny handful includingHadamowsky and Major Titel. He must also have initiated the ministry’s popular644 GOEBBELS. MASTERMIND OF THE THIRD REICHProfessor Karl Bömer, head of his foreign press department. Bömer had an alcoholproblem however and on May 22 Otto Dietrich phoned Goebbels with word that ata Bulgarian legation reception a week earlier the professor had blurted out thesewords: ‘We’ll thrash the Russians in four weeks. Rosenberg is to become Governorgeneralof Russia. I am to become his under-Staatssekretär.’34 The Bulgarian envoyhad cabled urgently to Sofia asking to be recalled for consultations. Tipped off by hispress chief Dr Paul Schmidt and