Morgan is in our small gym when I get there. And by gym, I mean a weight bench and an old treadmill. “Hey, Morgan. How’s it going? Did I miss anything?”
He laughs. “You do know this is Sugarhill, right?”
“Normally, I would agree, but it’s been a busy few weeks.”
He sobers. “It has been. Other than a call out to an accident, everything was quiet.”
“Injuries?”
“None. It was more of a fender bender.”
“Good,” I say, relieved. The last accident we were called out to was back on one of the many rural roads leading out of Sugarhill was a fatal crash. Those are always hard, especially when you know the person.
“So, how was date night?”
“I don’t kiss and tell.”
“Oh, come on, man.”
I chuckle. “It was good. I took her to Laramie’s, then to Palisade.”
Morgan lets out a low whistle. “Pulled out all of the stops, didn’t you?”
I shrug. “She deserves the best.”
“Hey boys,” Chief Weiss says boisterously. “Torin, need you to go over to Phizer’s place and do an inspection. Make sure you verify receipts for reputable contractors. Don’t want that guy pulling another stunt like last time.”
Shit. That means Lani’s place is ready to move into. It’s wrong of me to want to fail the building just to keep her with me. I’m a juxtaposition between angry and sad that I could be losing her tomorrow. Realistically, I know that just because she isn’t staying with me doesn’t mean we are over. But I don’t want to live without her in my home. I like having her things all over the bathroom counter, her wearing my clothes around the house, her singing—badly—while cooking. I’m going to miss it all.
I wonder how she would react if I asked her to move in permanently. I want her to be mine permanently. Last night she told me she loves me… I’ve waited years for those words. I don’t want to risk scaring her off by moving too quickly. Her apartment being fixed is pushing my hand.
I have no idea what to do.
13 Lani
The day seemed to fly by in a whirlwind. Last night was perfect, and I’ve smiled so much my cheeks hurt. Tonight’s book club, and I cannot wait to give my friends a hard time about plotting with Torin behind my back. I try to erase the smile from my face so my fake upset will look real, but I just can’t manage. I’m too dang happy.
“Hey, traitors,” I say as the girls let themselves into the store. Ana throws the lock and lowers the shade.
“Who are you calling a traitor?” Prue asks. “More like fairy fucking godmothers.”
I giggle at that. “Maybe a little.”
“How was your very first date?” Margo asks.
I plop down onto one of the plush chairs in the reading nook I have set up for customers. “It was fantastic.”
“Look at her, she looks like she’s about to burst with sappiness.” Prue wrinkles her nose in disgust.
Ana slaps her arm. “Leave the girl alone. She’s in love. You’re just jealous.”
Prue laughs. “Jealous my ass. I’m not looking for some kind of one-true-love bullshit. I’m happy with my nightstand drawer lovers. They are all I need.”
“Ew,” Margo says, throwing a pillow at her. “We don’t need to know about your,” she waves her hands around in disgust, “self-love.”
“So tell us all about your date. Was it everything you hoped for?” Ana asks with a hint of whimsy in her voice.
I have no idea where to even start with how fantastic last night was. Part of me wants to tell them everything, the other part wants to lock it all up and keep it to myself. It almost feels like it will lose some of the specialness if I tell them.
“It was wonderful. Thank you, guys, for helping him pull it off. I couldn’t have asked for a better first date. It will be impossible for anyone to top it.” Once again, there is a huge smile spreading across my face. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy in all my days.
“Why would anyone else need to top it?” Ana looks at me with confusion. “I thought things were going good with Torin.”
I give her a look of consternation. “Things are great—really great—perfect, in fact, but I’m not sure we are a permanent thing.”
That smile I’ve not been able to get rid of all day… well, it’s gone now. Sadness leaches into my bones straight down to my soul. The thought of losing Torin is heartbreaking. He’s not made any effort to discuss the future beyond our temporary arrangement of me staying at his house while my apartment is being fixed.
I know that my moving out doesn’t mean that we’re over. So why does it feel like it? I don’t want to move out of his house. I want to stay there forever. I want him to tell me how much he loves me and that he can’t live without me.
“Hand me the wine.” I snap my fingers in Prue’s direction, indicating the bottle she’s been monopolizing. I usually don’t drink a lot, but tonight, I need to eliminate the ugly thoughts I’ve got in my head now.
She hands me the bottle, and I don’t even bother pouring it into a glass. I just take a big swig straight from the bottle, then another, and another.
“Woah, slow down, Lani,” Margo says, shocked.
I should have listened to Margo. She’s way smarter than I am because I’m quickly on my way to drunk. So much so that she has to drive me home. Somehow in my drunkenness, I let the girls
