They’re wrong. This whole thing is fake. Yes, we exchanged keys and are dating seriously, but this marriage is fake, and thinking that he wants it to be real is ridiculous. It’s off the rails levels of crazy. I take a hot shower and have myself firmly back on solid ground by the time I’m done getting ready for the evening.
My phone dings with a text from Amos asking me when I’ll be home. My heart skips a beat or three at the question. I know he’s not talking about my house. He wants to know when I will be home to his.
Home.
When did Amos’ house become home? Jesus, I’m in deeper than I ever thought. I text him that I’ll be there soon. I can’t hide out forever.
I let myself into his house this time, knowing that someone who is married to the homeowner wouldn’t feel the need to knock. Trudy seems genuinely excited to see me and throws her arms around me in one of those perfect mom hugs that I’ve missed so badly since my parents moved.
Alan is the next to hug me. Then it’s Amos. I feel like I collapse into his embrace. Not my body, but my heart. He gives me a gentle smile and a sweet kiss that he deepens until it’s barely appropriate to be seen by his parents.
“I’ve missed you,” he says for my ears only.
“Me too,” I confess. It’s true. I did miss him. I miss him every time we’re apart for any length of time.
During dinner, it becomes apparent that Alan is completely himself. A small piece of me is disappointed. My friends’ encouragement at the whole ‘Amos wouldn’t do anything unless he really wanted to’ thing is screwing with my mind.
“So, tell me, Margo, do you want children?”
I nearly choke on my water at the question. “I… uh… someday, yes.” I look at Amos with wide eyes, always shocked by the things that come out of Alan’s mouth. Though tonight he’s completely lucid. “I would have to find the right man and be married before even thinking about that.”
Trudy purses her lips and looks between Amos and me in one of those meaningful kind of ways. Like she sees everything and knows that our relationship is much more than it is.
“Hopefully, Amos will settle down soon. I’d like to meet my grandchildren before…” he trails off.
We all know what before he’s talking about. The entire mood shifts to a somber one. He wants grandkids before he loses the ability to know them. Even if he won’t remember them once he loses himself to his disease completely.
I’m getting ready to leave for the night when Amos asks me to stay. He uses the excuse that he wants me here in case his father wakes up confused again, but I can read him better than that. He’s feeling insecure in the same way that I am and wants to keep me close. I don’t put up even the pretense of an argument.
The next morning Alan seems to be himself but also seems sad. Trudy says he gets that way sometimes, but that he’s fine. We end up having dinner at the diner so his dad can check that off the list of things he wants to do during their week-long vacation.
The diner is busy like it always is on Sunday night, and we quickly claim the only table left. I’m happy to see it’s in Ana’s section. Her smile is strained when she greets us and asks what we’d like to eat. Alan and Trudy order burgers, and I get my usual—chicken-fried steak and baked potato. Amos gets the special.
I want to ask my friend what’s wrong but now isn’t the time. It doesn’t take long to figure out the problem: Carson Moore. He’s got a serious thing for Ana. He’s constantly flirting in this way over the top way that makes sweet, innocent Ana uncomfortable. I make a note to mention it to Amos and see if there’s anything he can do.
“Margo, where is your ring?” Alan asks, seeming panicked. “You didn’t lose it, did you?”
I cover my left hand, feeling guilty because he’s obviously slipped back into his delusions. I can’t hide my panic because there is no ring. How do I explain this one away? Turns out, I don’t have to because Amos produces a gorgeous ring from his pocket.
“I almost forgot, sweetness. You left this beside the sink this morning.” I’m completely gobsmacked with the fact that he’s carrying around a wedding ring. A freakin’ beautiful one at that. It’s classic and simple, but the diamond is enormous. I try to figure out if the ring is a fake that he got in case his dad needs it.
It has to be a fake, right?
“Oh goodness! I’m so glad you found it,” I say, once again playing along with Alan’s delusion even though I hate the lie.
When Ana comes to collect the plates, she notices the ring, and her eyes go wide. I nod towards the bathroom, and she gives her own imperceptible nod.
“Excuse me.” I get up from the table and bolt—slowly and with dignity—to the bathroom.
Ana is already there. She grabs my hand first thing and looks between the rock on my finger and me. “What is that?!”
I shake my head, letting her know without words that it’s fake. “His dad is confused again… he asked where my ring is like it’s something important, and then Amos pulled this out of his pocket. Next thing I know, I’m wearing this wedding ring!”
“Wow.”
“I know! I’m kind of freaking out here, Ana. A ring doesn’t feel like we are fake married. It feels like we’ve upped the ante or something.”
Ana hugs me. “It’s okay. Don’t panic. I’m sure he was just carrying it to be prepared for if his dad ever asked. If he meant it to be more than that, he would’ve proposed for real. Amos doesn’t
