“It’s okay for you to not be okay, you know?” She rubbed my back and I felt seven again. But in a good way. A safe way.
We sat at the table a long time with her arms around my shoulders and mine around her waist. I knew I was a lucky bastard to have my family. Guilt washed over me for thinking about leaving. Especially knowing what it’d do to Mom. But I couldn’t live my life based on what made them happy. It had to be about what made me happy.
The thought of leaving them, especially my mom, made me feel sick, but there was so much going on in my head. And I had no idea what to do with it.
It didn’t seem like the right time to tell her about Beth. Especially since Bethany probably had a bad taste in her mouth about me. Knowing Mom, she’d call Beth an idiot for not wanting me. But I really had fucked everything up, not that it mattered. Thinking about Mom telling Bethany off made me chuckle.
“What’s funny?”
She smiled and waited for me to answer, but I just disentangled myself from her hug and kissed the top of her head.
“I love you, Mom.”
“Love you, too, Maddy,” she called. I walked over to the table full of food and started piling a plate full. I figured I’d tell her about Beth when there was actually something to tell. For now, I was going to save the whole fated mate conversation for another day. Besides, I was hungry, and Grandma’s cooking was the best.
I just hoped nobody mentioned it to Mom before I did.
5
Bethany
“Well?” Kara and Abby stared at me across the table.
“Well, what?” I stirred my drink with the little straw, then sipped through it. It wasn’t a sipping straw, it was a stirring straw, but I’d always liked using it to drink with.
“You’ve been way too quiet,” Abby said. She sat beside Kara and they both stared at me like I’d grown an arm out of my forehead. “What’s bothering you?”
I sighed. I didn’t go out for drinks often. Maybe once every few months. The last time, I’d been here with Abby and that was the night I met Maddox. My parents had asked to take Tiffany for the night, and I’d gotten all caught up on my invoices, so when Kara suggested we hit the bar, I figured why not? I’d texted Abby and she’d been free too, and it had turned into girls’ night. Abby and Kara had hit it off as soon as they met, so I knew it would go well. Except now they were both grilling me to talk about what was bothering me. “I had a run-in with Maddox.”
Abby’s eyes lit up with excitement, but Kara looked wary. “What happened?” Kara asked. “You don’t look happy about it.”
I’d been fuming since yesterday afternoon, and as soon as I started talking, all my anger and outrage came pouring out. “Maddox is a condescending dick, that’s what happened.”
Abby burst out laughing, but still, Kara looked concerned. She gave Abby a sidelong glance.
Abby just shrugged. “I know Maddox. He can be a condescending dick. But he’s still a good guy. He just...” She pursed her lips. “Needs a little help figuring out some things sometimes.”
“Like how to be a nice human?” I retorted.
Abby blanched. “Kinda?”
“Tell us what happened,” Kara urged.
“I’ve never had to defend my parenting to anyone,” I said. Except for Kyle’s dad, but that was a whole different subject and not related at all. “He questioned my intelligence. He said hiking wasn’t smart!”
Damn, my voice was shrill. How many of these drinks had I had? I looked at the glasses on the table. Yep, still on my first one. I was just that pissed. “I mean, how dare he? Who does he think he is?” For him to question me was frankly insulting.
Abby smiled, but it was a little pained. “I’m sure he didn’t mean anything by it.” She sipped her glass of wine. “He really is a sweet guy and though yeah, sometimes he can be a dick, most of the time he’s not.”
Kara shrugged. “You still haven’t told us what happened.”
I laughed and sat back in the booth. “You’re right.” I gave them a rundown of what happened out on the trail and tried to remember Maddox’s words verbatim. “By the time I left, it was all I could do not to shove my fist down his throat,” I concluded.
Kara sighed. “Yeah, that sounds pretty bad.”
“Maybe he was just concerned?” Abby asked. “He is one of Black Claw’s finest.”
Kara chuckled. “He could’ve gone about this in a much better way.”
“That seems to be his MO,” I said. “Doing things wrong. I forgot to tell you that part.” I launched into his explanation of why he’d crashed my date the other night.
Kara and Abby’s jaws dropped as I spoke. “Harry?” Kara asked. “I’ve never heard that!”
“Me either, but apparently it’s known.”
Abby nodded. “I had heard it, actually. Jury mentioned it after it happened.”
I fixed her with a level glare. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
She shrugged. “You said he hadn’t tried to contact you again. I figured if you mentioned another date, I’d warn you, but otherwise, I didn’t want to upset you. I know if I’d gone on a date with a potential rapist, I’d be pretty damn upset.”
That much was true. It had freaked me out. “I guess judging men isn’t my strong suit,” I said. “Too bad.”
“Well, you should give Maddox the benefit of the doubt,” Abby said. “I promise, he’s a good guy.”
I huffed and sucked the rest of my drink out of the glass. “He judged me. I hate feeling judged.”
“And I get that, I do. I’m just saying don’t let it totally color your opinion of him.”
“Where’s Tiff?” Kara asked.
“With my parents.” They’d been thrilled to hear I was going out when I called to say goodnight to Tiffany. That was another thing making
