It still hurt me every day. Every time I looked at Tiffany and knew she had to grow up without a father because we’d argued instead of talked. If I could’ve gone back and changed it all, I still would’ve told him no, but I wouldn’t have lost my temper.
That night, I’d yelled. I’d told him he was my friend and that was all it would ever be. I’d cussed and told him to get it through his thick skull.
If I could’ve gone back, that’s what I would’ve changed. The last thing I said to the best friend I’d ever had was, “For fuck’s sake, Kyle! I’m not attracted to you!”
I stared at my phone for several minutes as the last words I’d said to him reverberated in my mind.
I couldn’t remember the last thing he said to me. I’d never been able to remember.
After the phone call, I tried to focus on work, but it wasn’t happening. There was no way I’d be able to get my mojo back. I never could on the days Walter called.
Damn it. I’d been in a great mood, too. Now that was totally ruined. I packed away the invoices and tidied up my workspace. I couldn’t stand to come in the next day to yesterday’s coffee and trash everywhere.
The day was only halfway over. I could’ve gone to get Tiff, but I didn’t want my bad mood to spill over onto my sweet girl.
I ran upstairs to our living space above my office. One of the first things Kyle and I had done was renovate one of the homes so we could live upstairs and have an office downstairs. Now his bedroom was Tiffany’s, but most of the house was the same. Memories of my friend were everywhere in the space.
I put on my hiking boots and pants to protect my legs from rogue roots and bushes, then headed to the car. There was a hiking trail that rarely had anyone else on it. It branched off of the main trail used by tourists going to see a spectacular waterfall, but they never took the path. It was too easy to miss.
It was their loss. There was a smaller but gorgeous waterfall along it as well. I drove straight there and wasted no time getting out of the car and on the trail.
Within a half-mile or so, I’d worked off a lot of my agitation. Sucking in a deep breath, I closed my eyes and walked a few feet after checking carefully to make sure the trail was clear ahead of me. Breathing in the forest, I moved slowly and listened to the sounds of the water, faint in the distance, sucked in my breath and enjoyed the scents of the blooming late spring flowers in the brush. I liked trying to connect with nature this way every once in a while. Without sight. Relying on my other senses.
The slightest sound made my eyes fly open. I looked around, but nothing seemed amiss. I kept my eyes open and continued through the forest. The late spring thaw made the air crisp and clean if a little bit chilly. The uphill walk had my blood pumping, so I didn’t mind the slight nip in the air.
Another quarter mile up the trail, the sound of a branch cracking had me on high alert. Big animals tended to avoid these trails frequently walked by humans, but I was on one that was more ignored than others.
What had I been thinking? I hadn’t told anyone where I was headed, and there could’ve been anything stalking me in the woods. We had all sorts of predators in Colorado. Big cats, black bears and grizzlies... Hell, we even had wolverines.
I stepped forward again but only made it about six feet before a larger limb snapped.
Nope. No, uh-uh. I whirled and hurried down the path the way I’d come. I had to get to a more populated place and hope that whatever was hiding from me in the trees would decide it was too dangerous to come after me.
My breath caught in my throat, sharp and panicked. I tried not to completely flip out, but it wasn’t easy. Focusing on my breathing, I sucked air in and out as I watched the path, so I kept my footing.
My heart raced and ears buzzed as my mind filled with unlikely but possible scenarios about being attacked by a cougar and left for dead.
Oh, God. My daughter would’ve been an orphan. Her father already died tragically, that was going to be hard enough to explain the intricacies when she was older, but then my parents would have to tell her all about how her mother disappeared one day, never to be heard from again.
They’d find my car days later, and search the mountains, but the cougar would’ve been too smart. He would’ve dragged me to some unknown—
“Hey!” Maddox stepped out of nowhere, directly into my path.
As much as I liked to think of myself as not a typical girly girl, my scream belied any of that. I shrieked at the top of my lungs and pumped the brakes, backpedaling and throwing out my arms. My hands slammed into his chest, but he didn’t move an inch. I ended up plowing into him.
It felt like slamming into a brick wall.
“It’s just me,” he cried with his arms around me. When I backed away, he released me immediately, but I couldn’t ignore the heat from his hands as they steadied me, pressed against the small of my back.
“What are you doing?” I gasped.
“Calm down,” he replied with his hands in the air. “You’re okay.”
“You scared the hell out of me!” I yelled. “Why didn’t you announce yourself? Was that you back there, stepping on branches and shit?” I bent over and put my hands on my knees, trying to
