We’d become somewhat friendly with each other, a step above politeness. I looked forward to the time that we could work amicably beside one another. I knew I’d lose him in a year, but he seemed likable enough, now that I knew him a bit better. He’d been extremely irritable today, though.
Rico sipped his water and considered me. “Okay, yeah,” he said. “But you’re going to think I’m crazy. Do you ever feel like there are two sides to you? The person you show the world and the person you really are?”
That was not at all what I’d expected him to say. My jaw dropped in surprise. “Wow. Actually, I know exactly what you’re talking about. I feel like this every single day.”
His surprise at my response nearly matched mine at his admission.
“My guard is always up,” I explained. “Because it has to be. But I’m so tired of always being guarded.”
He nodded eagerly and leaned over the table. “Yes! I just want to be able to fully be myself.”
The server returned with our food, effectively cutting off our conversation, but it didn’t stop me from obsessing over it. The subject of being myself was something I tried not to think about all that often because it got me all in my feelings. But damn, it would’ve been nice to have had someone I could always be myself around. Even with my sister and father, I was always on my best behavior. I did everything I could not to slip up with them. I wasn’t overly sarcastic. If I lost my temper, I made sure it was never toward them. They were probably the two people I was most like myself around, but still, I wasn’t totally unguarded.
My best friend Beth was close. The more time I spent with her, the more of my natural personality came out.
“I really do understand what you mean,” I said when the waitress finally left. Squirting ketchup out onto my plate, I drowned my fries and popped one into my mouth. “What is it for you?” I talked around my fry, which I normally wouldn’t have done, but having Rico open up made me feel a bit more comfortable.
“Just that I always have to be guarded and on my best behavior. I made some bad choices in my past that haunt me still.” He took the ketchup bottle from me and drowned his own fries. “I’m just having a moment.”
“Anything I can help with?” I didn’t want to push, but I did want to know more about him. I’d been softening toward him all week. Dangerous, maybe, but necessary for a pleasant work environment. Or, at least that’s what I told myself.
“You already helped,” he insisted. I chewed my club sandwich and watched him take an enormous bite of his large burger.
“How so?” I busied myself wiping the drips of mayo off of my fingers while he chewed.
“With the job.” He waved his burger at me as he talked. It was kind of cute.
Damn it. I’d thought more than one time that something or another Rico had done was cute or sexy, and that had to stop. He was my employee; he was a good employee. There was no room for cute or sexy or the first hints of flirting.
Damn it. Why’d he have to turn out to be such a good employee?
“I squared off with you before. I have an inheritance.”
I nodded, recalling the conversation. “Yeah, but you have to prove you can hold down a job.”
“Right,” he said around another bite. “Once I get it, I can fulfill my dream of hiding away in the mountains and living as a hermit.”
Disappointment tickled my gut. I knew he was totally off-limits, but I hadn’t wanted him to be a spoiled brat like some of the kids I’d gone to school with, like Nick. Or my ex, Tye. Ugh. He’d been the worst in high school.
I pushed my disappointment away and reminded myself he was an employee and we worked well together. What he did after he left my employ was totally on him. “Well, keep doing a good job and you’ll make it to get your hidden cabin,” I said.
We talked about small things like what sort of house he wanted to build. Surprisingly enough, it was similar to my own dream home. Big and open, lots of space to move around.
My foster homes had all been cramped. When I was ready to build, I wanted a home with not as many rooms, but each room being large and airy. Where the furniture in the room didn’t take up so much room that it was hard to walk around.
We finished up our lunch, and I felt silly for thinking we were actually connecting for a moment. As I paid our bill and the server slipped a small scrap of paper in Rico’s hand, I nearly laughed.
He wasn’t interested in me, anyway, boss or not. I was the weirdo, the mannish maintenance woman. Rico needed a job and was taking advantage of me needing someone cheap. It was nothing more or less than that.
Boss and employee.
8
Rico
Weekends somehow were more enjoyable after a hard week of work. Amazing how that was. I’d never expected to feel so self-satisfied as waking up on a Saturday without a care in the world, knowing I’d worked hard all week.
Huh. Was this what they called personal growth? I think so!
Hardly.
Valor was less than impressed. He’d been giving me mostly the cold shoulder since we started working with Kara. When we weren’t around her, anyway. He was a lot livelier when in her presence. But at home, he pulled back into himself, and mostly all I got from him were feelings and emotions. Usually anger, or sometimes frustration. The worst was sadness. That one usually left me
