Dana rolled her eyes, and didn’t seem intimidated by me at all. “Which is why Hetta is going with me.”
I glanced at the smaller human. “She cannot protect you.”
“Then we’ll bring O’Rrin,” Dana said, sounding like she was losing her patience. “Is that enough, Dad?”
There was a heavy deliberateness to her words that I could not understand, and I frowned. “I am not your father.”
Jackie snorted from back near the fire, clearly listening in. “Luke, I am your father,” she quipped.
“Did you know that was never actually in the movie?” Hetta had half-turned to her friend, her [COLOR] eyes wide and soft. She was pretty, but not nearly as appealing as Dana.
“I could take you.” I turned my attention back to Dana. I wanted the time with her, and sitting in the cave with the human Jackie did not appeal.
“We’re fine,” Dana said, although she wouldn’t look at me.
Hetta moved towards O’Rrin, but I raised my hand and stopped her. “I wish to speak to you in private.”
Dana gave me a suspicious look. “Don’t think you’re going to drag me somewhere and convince me.”
My tongue flicked out and I tried to think about how to speak to her. It was true I was jealous of O’Rrin, of Hetta, spending time with my Dana when I had had so little. The thought of her going out and being vulnerable without my protection struck me like a slice to the throat. “Please,” I said finally. It was a word I rarely used, but one that was worth it to get more time with Dana.
Dana and Hetta exchanged a look, debating, before Dana finally nodded. “Just this once,” Dana informed me. “No get out of jail free card for you.”
I nodded to her, although inwardly I hadn’t understood anything of her second sentence. What was a jail? Why did it have free cards? Why did you need to get out of it? Humans were baffling.
“I have some spare clothes for you.” Jackie bounded over, pulling out some clothing that was dark in color and seemed far too small for my Dana. I frowned, because we did not have time to hunt enough fur for her to have an appropriate outfit made. That would be something we would have to ensure when we finally reached N’Akkar. Dana could wear some of the leather we had around camp, but as my future mate, she deserved the best, and I wanted to give it to her.
“Thanks.” Dana smiled at Jackie. “We’ll be back in a bit.” She turned and gave me a look, the suspicion still there, before she headed out of the cave.
I followed, not certain where she was going. There was a water source not too far away, which I remembered being important for humans, but did she know that? Once we were a handspan of lengths away from the entrance to the cave, she stopped and turned at me, clutching her bundle.
“Okay, Fido, where’s water?”
I frowned. “My name is not this Phy-dough, it is N’Ashtar.” Hurt pinged through my chest. Had she forgotten me that easily?
Dana sighed. “I know your name is N’Ashtar,” she said, sounding patient. “I was teasing you. Earth reference.” She muttered something under her breath about something called ‘sarcasm’, but then looked at me expectantly.
It was my turn to eye her suspiciously, because I wasn’t sure I entirely believed her. But there wasn’t time for that. “Follow me.” I stepped forward, walking slowly until she came up by my side.
The walk to the small river was quiet but companionable, both of us lost to our thoughts. All I could think about was how I had failed this beautiful, smart human, how she had suffered because of me. The thoughts swam around my mind like creatures in the stream, threatening to drown me with the noise.
I wondered what Dana was thinking about. Was she musing over my failures, too? How there was much I should have done to save her? I swallowed sourness that threatened to poison my stomach. “I am sorry.”
That must have surprised her, because she stopped and turned to look at me, eyes wide. “For what?”
“For failing you.” I hesitated for a moment, then dropped to my knees, bowing my head to her. “I failed to protect you, my mate, and for that, I am sorry.”
Silence stretched on, and when I finally lifted my head to look at Dana, her strange human eyebrows were up near her hairline and she looked like she was still digesting my words. I stayed where I was, because I wanted to show her that I really was sorry. A N’Akron rarely bowed to others, especially not the war chief, but Dana wasn’t just someone. Dana was everything.
“What did you mean, you failed me?” Dana frowned, but started walking again, and I was forced to stand up and correct her path. “You killed the Caterri.”
My hiss was painful, and the air burns on my tongue throbbed. “Yes, but not soon enough.”
Dana turned around, because my human could somehow walk backwards. “What do you mean?” She was repeating the same words, but there was a patience to it. “Tell me what that means.”
Rage threatened to blind me with red, but I took a deep breath. The river was visible not far away, and we were only twenty or thirty minutes from the cave we were staying for the night. Far enough away that we did not have to worry about anyone overhearing us. “I was not quick enough to save you from being violated,” I said gruffly.
“From being what now?” Dana’s eyes went wide, and she nearly tripped over her own feet.
“I saw you washing, the night we talked.” I closed my eyes and bowed my head, not able to keep moving forward. “I saw the blood, saw the way they looked at you. I am sorry I could not stop it sooner. I am not worthy.”
I expected the sharp inhalation, the way she froze.
