“Tomorrow, the women will be on Thoheria, and we will be on our way to being rich beyond our wildest measures. No one except my contacts know where we are, and they’re waiting on my signal.” His lips curved into a wicked smile. “I will be exporting this journal when we land, so I can keep records for the future to look back on. Hendricks has served faithfully as second-in-command on this trip. Good night.”
The hologram flickered out of existence, leaving the four of us standing there with our jaws hanging open.
“Well, I take back everything nice I said about him,” I sputtered, looking down at the foremost rock which had been his.
Jackie snorted, but the paleness of her face told her she was as shocked as I had been. Well, that answered quite a few questions. How we got to Thoheria, why no one had come looking for us. That no one would come looking for us—or if someone did, they meant trouble. The last thing the N’Akron needed were slavers. Just the thought of someone trying to get their hands on my N’Ashtar made me see red.
“Were they all in on it?” Erica asked, her voice soft. Our men could tell something was wrong, because V’Annor immediately came up and stood next to her, a silent support.
I stared at the rocks that we had for the others. While we had been almost done with the tributes, they felt tainted somehow. Maybe the only one who deserved one was Rachel, the one of us who had died in their twisted plot to take the planet for their own means. “I don’t know,” I answered softly.
It was easy to get lost in my head, after that, to let the world pass by. How could I call myself a leader or strong if I had failed to notice even a basic conspiracy being hatched right under our noses? How had I missed that? I knew I couldn’t blame myself, but I could feel my soul being crushed.
When we were done paying tribute, we started back to the men, but Jackie darted forward and grabbed my arm, halting me. I blinked back to attention and held her gaze, curious what she wanted to talk about. I couldn’t think of anything off the top of my head that we needed to address now.
“Can we talk for a sec?” Jackie nodded towards a rock that was on the opposite side of our men. Curious, I followed her, waiting like she did until we were hopefully out of earshot before saying anything.
“Are you okay?” Was there a problem, maybe? Had I missed something? Feelings of failure tugged at me again, and I felt my whole body tense.
“I should be asking you that,” Jackie said wryly. I studied her intently, raking my eyes up and down her, and was relieved to see that she didn’t seem to be in any distress. “Dana, you do know none of this is your fault, right?”
I pursed my lips, crossing my arms protectively over my chest. Technically, I knew that, but it didn’t feel like that. I was responsible for the women on the mission, for our crew, and I had failed them, not seeing this plot that was hatched underneath my nose. How much else had I missed? Could N’Ashtar really trust me as his partner when—
Fingers snapping in front of my face jerked me back to reality. “That’s what I’m talking about,” Jackie said, although she sounded amused rather than annoyed. “Dana, you were a crew member like the rest of us—”
“But I was supposed to be the leader,” I said vehemently. “I was supposed to take care of us.”
“A diplomat and a leader are not always the same thing,” Jackie said gently. “Sometimes you have to juggle being both, and in this case, your diplomat side won out. That doesn’t make you a failure. You’ve proven yourself to us and our tribe that you are an exceptional human being, even when you started as a prickly cactus.”
I laughed even though I didn’t want to at the mental image. She wasn’t wrong.
“Rachel wouldn’t have wanted you to blame yourself. She really wouldn’t. You’re strong and adaptable and you’re good for us, even on Thoheria.” Jackie’s eyes were warm and compassionate. “Give yourself a break, Dana. You deserve it.”
I chewed on my lower lip, a nervous habit I hadn’t used in some time, as I considered what she said. It wasn’t fair to my tribe now, was it, to bring my baggage in? Maybe Jackie was right and I had done the best I could have for the women I now trusted as friends. And she was right in that Rachel wouldn’t want me to blame myself for any of it.
As I took a deep breath and let the air out, I felt some of the tension release from my shoulders and became aware of just how much I had carried around with me for so long. “I guess,” I admitted grudgingly.
Jackie grinned, knowing how much of an admission that was for me. “Good. Now let’s go get you back to your man.”
“And yours,” I teased, knowing R’Asha was waiting with the others. When I turned around, I caught sight of N’Ashtar standing just apart from the group, his spear in his hand and concern clear on his scaly face as he watched me as if I was the best thing he had ever seen. A burst of warmth rushed through me, and I didn’t even bother tamping down the love I felt for him as I jogged over so I could reach him faster, walking immediately into his strong arms and letting him wrap his arms around me.
“Are you all right?” N’Ashtar
