‘Of course.’ I clenched my teeth to keep them from chattering. He fixed me with his solemn dark eyes, though he seemed jittery.
‘I am afraid for Catherine’s health too. She is as stubborn in her way as Henri – she barely sleeps now, and she will not delegate to anyone. She feels she must oversee every bit of state business while the King is indisposed, or the kingdom will fall apart.’
‘She is probably not far wrong.’
‘True, but she stays up all night writing letters, she sits in war councils all day, she plans to travel south to meet Navarre before Christmas, if you please – she will not listen to reason, and she is in such pain, all the time, but she refuses to rest. And I am obliged to be at the Louvre so much now that I can’t watch over her as I would like.’ He appeared to be on the verge of tears. ‘I really fear she will drive herself into her grave, and then we will all be at the mercy of Guise.’
‘But the Queen Mother is tough. She has endured worse times than this.’
‘Not as tough as people think,’ he said, his voice heavy with implication. ‘And Léonie’s suicide has affected her deeply. She has taken it very hard.’
‘She seemed more inconvenienced than distressed when I saw her,’ I said, thinking of Catherine’s callous remarks about the girl.
‘That is because you do not know her. She keeps her feelings hidden. So you must be careful what you say to her.’
Snowflakes had begun to settle on his hair and shoulders. I wondered why he was telling me this; perhaps he just needed to unburden himself.
‘I do not think she will take notice of me, if she will not listen to her advisors,’ I said, blowing on my fingers and hoping he would take the hint.
‘I didn’t mean that. I only meant – try not to upset her. Every time she has spoken to you recently she has come away angry and agitated.’
‘I have that effect on people. I can’t help it.’ I smiled, but he did not return it.
‘Try,’ he said, with a stern look. ‘Tell her what she wants to hear.’
‘Doesn’t she have enough people to do that already?’
‘Madonna porca.’ He lifted his gaze skywards and back to me, his eyes harder this time. ‘You take such pride in your defiance, don’t you? You think you have special licence to speak the truth to power, and that great princes respect you more for it?’
‘I never met a wise ruler who respected empty flattery,’ I said, needled.
‘I am just asking you to put aside your pride for once,’ he hissed, bringing his face close to mine. ‘Have some human decency – she is not an opponent you need to best in the debating chamber. She is an old lady who is exhausted and in pain. Say her son is feeling better. Do not put any more ideas into her head that will give her further grief and sleepless nights. She is the only thing holding France together at the moment, and she cannot continue as she is without destroying herself and the kingdom. Let me put it bluntly – if anything happens to her, we will all be lucky to escape with our lives.’
I could no longer feel my hands or feet, so I assented dumbly and allowed myself to be led inside.
There was a great flurry of activity around Catherine’s apartments; women bustled past with armfuls of furs as a sedan chair was carried in by six large men. Balthasar left me in an antechamber while he went to announce my presence and eventually returned, looking even more preoccupied.
‘It seems you have had a reprieve,’ he said, his eyes distracted by the movements of servants around us. ‘Your detour to Queen Louise means you have arrived too late – Catherine is already preparing to spend the evening at the Louvre by the King’s side. You should return home.’
‘That will be a relief to everyone,’ I said. ‘I was afraid I might say a wrong word and find myself single-handedly responsible for the downfall of France.’
He didn’t smile. ‘I’m glad you find it all such a joke. She asked me to thank you for restoring the King to her, and to tell you that she has not forgotten her promise. She will send for you tomorrow to discuss terms.’
I nodded, realising that at this stage, a little humility would serve me better. ‘Tell her I am grateful. I will try not to put ideas in her head.’
He gave me a wry look in parting, as his boot heels clicked away over the marble floor. I wondered what ideas he meant; I had not missed the fact that he had referred pointedly to Léonie’s suicide. But Catherine knew full well that the girl’s death was murder without my insisting on it. Perhaps that was one of the causes of her sleepless nights. Balthasar was not wrong to fear the consequences of Catherine’s demise, though; without her, Henri would be easily toppled and there would be no one left to protect those of us who had depended on his favour as the country fell into civil war.
I allowed myself to be escorted to the gatehouse arch by two armed guards, but as I was ushered through, I heard a woman’s voice calling my name from across the courtyard. I turned to see a swaddled figure hurrying towards me and recognised Gabrielle somewhere inside the fur hood.
‘I saw you leaving Catherine’s apartments from the window,’ she said, breathless, eyes bright and her cheeks flushed with the cold. ‘How is the King?’
‘He’ll live. Can I ask you something?’ My teeth rattled. She nodded, though her eyes had grown cautious. ‘How well do you know Queen Louise?’
She looked surprised. ‘Not so well. I served in her household for a time – Catherine makes us all take a turn.’
‘To spy on her?’
‘What do you think?’
‘Why? What does
