“I think I do. I have to be sure.”
His shoulders sank, and without looking at his face I could picture the pain there. He moved the chair and opened the door.
We went down the hall and stairway as quickly as we could. No one jumped out at us. We heard no pounding of soldiers’ feet as we went. Once inside Ada’s room, I shoved Rahel toward the bed and Will and I pushed the wardrobe in front of the door with great effort. There was no lock from the inside, so the heaviest furniture would have to do.
“They could lock us in,” Will observed.
“With Rahel?” I shook my head. “I doubt it.”
Still, the idea made me feel sick. I’d hated this room before, and now that my mind swam with nauseous images of Will and Ada embracing, I wanted to tear it apart, make kindling of the furniture. Rahel sat primly on the edge of her sister’s bed, and from the sour, sucked-in look on her face I suspected she was fighting the same mental pictures. She tilted her head at me and nodded to the vanity. I went toward it. Dread slowed my movements, turning my feet to lead.
“Bee, please.” The sadness in his voice wrung my heart. “Can’t you simply trust me?”
I opened the vanity, took the box out and pulled it toward me with both hands, and stared at it. I hesitated a moment. I tried to measure my fear and dread against my hope—hope that whatever Rahel had cooked up would not convince me, that I would find a way to prove it a lie. The Stone’s pulsing ebbed low against my breast, waiting, I knew, until I had room for it in my heart.
I opened the box and saw the first letter on the top. It had been folded backward so that the writing faced out instead of in. No doubt this was Rahel’s work, and no doubt she had left the letter she considered most damning on top. I hadn’t expected that. I had expected one final step, that of picking up the letter and opening it. One last chance to change my mind, to decide not to know. Too late now. I read, my vision blurring with tears.
My dear Ada,
I think of nothing but you. You said, when you left me alone in bed, that you were afraid I might forget you, now that I have had what I wanted from you. I do not remember what I said, but I know it was not enough, because I could never deny that falsehood enough. Sweet Ada, how can you think one night is all I want from you? How could one taste of your love be enough for me, when you are everything? You are my world now, a world as vast as the universe, but which contains only you and I. It is just the opposite of what you feared. I can never have enough of you.
There was more, but I tore my eyes away.
“Bee—it isn’t—”
“Don’t,” I said quietly. I wiped away my tears. “I know your hand, Will, even in German. How could I not, after all the hours I spent poring over your letters? You write such beautiful letters.”
I crushed the paper in my hand. I carefully closed the lid of the box.
“You don’t want to read the rest?” Rahel asked. “There are plenty more, all of them just as lovely.”
“Bee,” he said. A cold blankness carpeted my mind, and I forced myself to look at his face. I was almost curious what he might say.
“It didn’t mean anything to me.”
“You’re a liar, then. Clearly you made her believe that it did.”
“Yes,” he said. “I lied to her. What else could I do? She threw herself at me, she was mad for me. I thought if I didn’t do as she wanted she would tell lies about me—”
“Oh, stop,” I said. My curiosity was gone, overwhelmed by disgust. “Please stop. Is this what you think of me? This is what you think I want to hear? I would rather discover that you really did love her than believe you were such a craven, lying—”
My voice caught. All I could feel was fury, and yet I seemed to be on the verge of sobbing.
“Call back my men, Miss Hope,” said Rahel from the bed. “They will let you heal yourself and your apprentice friend. And I will make it so this worm can never ruin another innocent girl.”
I shook my head slowly, but even as I did, I heard Valentin’s voice from the door.
“Thea,” he said. “Let us in, please. We won’t hurt you. There’s someone at the gate. I think—I think it might be—”
“Who?” demanded Rahel.
“It’s Vellacott. He brought the police.”
Rahel swore in German.
More boot-falls. I took a step toward the window and saw the gate swinging wide. The police ran through, into the house.
Will stepped toward me, then folded into a fit of coughing. It was a powerful one, shaking his whole body. He staggered, his arm out. On an instinct, I took his arm and he fell into me. His head and hands were on my shoulder and chest before I came to myself and pushed him back. He staggered toward the window. I reached for him, but shock had dulled my reflexes. He slipped out of my arms, clutching something in his hand. The window was open. He threw himself out of it.
“Nein!” screamed Rahel. “Valentin!”
I ran to the window. Will was climbing down the trellis underneath more quickly than I would have thought he could. His feet knew the places that held. Of course they did. He had climbed up and down that way before. He dropped to the bottom.
Rahel pushed me out of her way and screamed from the window. I watched Will stagger to the gate and mount a horse tethered there. I was frozen in place. Broken. My chest was caved in, a cold sucking wound in the place where my heart
