Under most any other circumstance she would have rejoiced at his words, but only disappointment stirred within. Hugh had obviously thought long and hard about her perilous situation and decided that the obvious solution was to offer her marriage.
In his world, it no doubt made perfect sense. They were already friends, and with his family’s wealth at his disposal, he could offer her a life of security and comfort. Problem solved.
She would be mad not to seriously consider the offer, yet her heart demanded more.
“I see,” she replied.
If she married Hugh, she would have a home, and likely a family in the years to come. She would no longer be alone in the world.
But she would be alone in her love for him.
“Will you at least consider it?” he said.
She shivered, the barn no longer holding the warmth it once had. Hugh’s marriage proposal, if it could be considered as one, was as cold as the chill winds on the mountain.
She tried to console herself with the knowledge that many other people had practical marriages based purely on friendship. Many of those unions seemed to work.
The challenge she now faced would be deciding if she could spend the rest of her life with him knowing he would never feel anything more than a warm regard for her. Her love for him would remain unrequited.
“I may need some time,” she replied. Mary got to her feet. A dull ache of sadness sat heavy in her heart. “You have never once shown me any indication of affection, so I am going to have to assume that your reasons for offering me marriage are purely practical ones. If so then mores the pity, because my father always said that a marriage created without any heat or passion to sustain it, would eventually falter when faced with the madness that life throws at us all,” she said.
She headed for the door, leaving Hugh to sit on the straw and ponder her words. She could only pray that he had it in his heart to offer her more.
“I shall see you at supper,” she said.
She slipped through the barn door and headed back to the castle.
Chapter Fourteen
As Mary disappeared, Hugh uttered a number of words that would get him thrown out of Sunday mass if anyone was to overhear them.
Mary, of course, was right. He had put as much emotion into his marriage proposal as he did when asking her for a cup of coffee. He should be counting his blessings that she had not given him a straight out no to his pathetic offer.
If his feeble attempt had been a university paper, he knew he would be pulling an all-night study session and resubmitting it in the morning. He could just imagine what the professor would have written on the front page in large black ink.
“D minus, lacking in effort. See me after class,” he muttered.
His brother’s words now came back to haunt him.
He should have been honest with her and confessed his love. If she didn’t feel the same for him, then he would at least finally know the truth of where their relationship stood. But what if she did care for him? By not being brave and offering his heart, he risked never getting the chance to hear her tell him she loved him.
She couldn’t be held to blame for choosing to protect her heart if she decided Hugh did not hold it in high enough regard. Love was precious.
He got to his feet. Mary hadn’t said no, which was at least some small comfort. She had, however, made it clear that if he thought to marry her for the sake of convenience, he may not like her answer.
Opening the barn door, he stepped out into the fierce wind. He looked at the path which led up onto the mountain and nodded. If there was one thing the wild Scottish winter was good for, it was blowing some sense into a clouded mind. He pulled up the collar of his coat and headed up the track.
Chapter Fifteen
Hugh felt like he was treading on eggshells. Mary was polite, but cool whenever he tried to talk to her. It was a side of her he had not seen before, and if he was honest, it scared him just a little, yet it was also oddly encouraging.
If the rest of the family had noticed any difficulty between him and Mary, they were keeping it to themselves.
Toasting forks sat around the fireplace, along with a huge pot of tea. These were the nights Hugh treasured the most. Hogmanay, with its huge bonfires, whisky, and roasted wild boar was a wonderful experience, but nothing compared to the quiet evenings spent with his family in the lead up to the end-of-year celebrations.
I should have made the effort to come home last Christmas. I won’t make that mistake again. And next year, I shall bring my wife with me.
Mary sat close by, nursing David on her lap. He was a bubbly little boy, full of life. He had a vocabulary of a good dozen words now, and each day he added new ones. Every time he looked at Caroline, he would point to her stomach and say “baby.”
Hugh finished his first cup of tea, then stood and went to get another.
Ewan met him by the fireside. “So, can I take it from the frosty relations between the two of you that things are not going well on the wooing front?”
Hugh looked down at his empty cup. “I think I made a bit of a hash of things today, so yes things are not how I would like. I mentioned marriage and she said she would think about it.”
Ewan winced. “Give yourself credit, dear brother. From the daggers that Mary is staring at you, I would suggest you have made a complete mess of things. But at least she didn’t refuse you outright.”
The mirth that he saw threatening on his brother’s face
