Chapter 10—Funeral
I fucking hate visitations.
I smile politely, shake hands, and thank people for coming as Jack lies in a casket next to me, his insides sewn back in for the occasion. Nora weeps openly, and it’s giving me a headache. I don’t think I closed my eyes for more than ten minutes last night, and the lack of sleep is getting to me.
The mayor shakes my hand and leans toward me to offer his sincere condolences and hopes that he’ll have my support in the fall when election time comes around. I glare at him, and he backs away quickly. Some other city official stops in front of me, offers his hand, offers a kind word, and moves on.
This continues over and over again until I’m ready to lose my mind.
“Excuse me,” I mutter as I move away from the receiving line despite my sister’s protests. I find my way to the kitchen in the back where Threes is helping himself to an early dinner.
“Wish I’d thought of that,” I say as I grab a carrot from a tray and shove it into some ranch dressing. “When is this over?”
“About another hour to go before they load up the hearse, and he can be on his merry way,” Threes replies. “We can cut it short if you want. No one will argue.”
“Nora will.” I sigh. “She’s so pissed at me. I should probably keep things in order today.”
“For her sake?”
“For the sake of my fucking sanity.” I grab another carrot. “You remember their wedding?”
“It was only four months ago,” Threes says, “so yeah, I remember.”
“They’d only known each other half that long. He fucked up her middle name during the vows.”
“Yeah.” Threes chuckles. “He did. But it had to be moved up. A wedding has to follow a funeral.”
“Whatever,” I mutter, not really listening to his words.
“Is she going to find another guy, or are you…?” Threes lets the question fade, and I don’t bother to respond.
I don’t care what Nora does at this point.
“But you are working on that wedding, aren’t you?” Pops leans against the wall near the fridge.
“I wouldn’t take it that far.”
“It’s tradition,” Threes says. “Bad luck if the family doesn’t replenish and all that. We didn’t have one after Micha, and…well, you know.”
“Do you want to marry Nora?”
“Oh, hell no!” Threes backs up with his hands held out in front of him, palms facing me. “I’m perfectly happy with my position in this family. Pretty sure Nora wouldn’t marry a black dude, anyway.”
“She might.” I shrug. “I don’t think she cares.”
“I love your family, dude, but hell no.”
“Funerals should be balanced with weddings,” Pops says. “You are the one who needs to work on that.”
“Really? You’re going to do this now?” I shake my head and walk out of the kitchen.
“What? Offer you my love?” Threes laughs. “We can hug if you want to.”
“Enough.” I shake my head. “I was joking about Nora. Forget it.”
Threes follows me into one of the side rooms filled with couches and boxes of tissues. I take a seat in a wingback chair and pull out a flask from my jacket pocket. I take a swig before offering it to Threes.
“I wouldn’t subject you to my sister,” I tell him. “I wasn’t serious.”
“I know you weren’t, boss.”
“Besides, you’ve been seeing someone, right? How is everything with her?”
“Angel?”
“She’s the blonde, right?”
“Yeah. I had to get rid of her.”
“What?” I feel my skin get a little cold, not sure exactly what he means.
“Not like that,” Threes says with an evil smile. “I just mean I dumped her.”
“Oh! Yeah, that’s probably better. Why did you break it off?”
“The sex sucked. She clearly wasn’t into me, and I figured it was a bit too much like that guy with the blowup doll.”
“She wasn’t into it?”
“Let me put it this way,” Threes says as he crosses his arms over his chest. “The last time we hooked up, I was doing her from behind. When I was done, she looked over her shoulder and said, ‘Was that it? I didn’t get through all my lives in Candy Crush.’”
I stare at him, openmouthed, waiting for him to laugh at the joke but not entirely sure if he’s kidding.
“Dude,” I finally say, “that’s brutal.”
“Yeah, I couldn’t take it anymore.” He shrugs, still with no indication of his level of seriousness. “Sorry to see her go, but I think it was over a long time ago.”
“How long you two been together?”
“A little over two months.”
I shake my head as he grins.
“Shall we call it and head to the cemetery?” he asks.
“Yeah, please.”
The visitation line is still out the door, but I really don’t care at this point. I tell the funeral director to get moving and then stand in a dark hallway away from the line, avoiding everyone. Father Brian walks up and down the line, ceremonial robes and sash flowing around him as he informs the remaining people that the visitation is ending, and the burial is a private, family affair.
As the crowd disperses, Nora finds me.
“You didn’t have to walk out like that!” she snaps.
“I did if you wanted me to keep my shit together.”
“Are you at least going to say something over him before they throw him in a hole?”
“Maybe. If
