I hate that voice in my head, but it’s right.
Fuck, we’ve talked about this. Amanda and I have no business getting tangled up in each other. She’s a dozen years younger. I haven’t even signed my divorce decree. I can’t provide for this woman, especially in the way she’s accustomed to. What the hell am I thinking?
That her family, even if they’re well meaning, is controlling. They’ll insist, even coerce her, into doing what’s socially acceptable without caring what she wants or needs.
And if she was serious about wanting me, I wouldn’t care about any of that. I would move heaven and earth to make her happy.
She emerges a minute later. Oliver is wearing a new pair of khaki shorts and a brown tank top with a monster truck on the front. She sets him on the floor in front of me with an iPad already streaming a cartoon. “Will you watch him for a minute while I get dressed?”
“Sure.” I’m barely able to croak the word, just like I’m barely able to peel my stare from her silk-draped curves.
Amanda frowns. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
But I’m not. Am I seriously considering giving up the kind of money that could turn my entire life around for her? I should probably be asking myself if I’ve gone insane. I certainly didn’t wake up this morning with any thought of getting involved again. Now I’m only thinking about Amanda and wondering if I’m the only one who’s feeling something more than attraction.
“If you say so…” She turns away with a shake of her head.
“Before you go, I need to know one thing.”
“What?”
I grab her wrist and tug her against me. Her breasts collide with my chest. I wrap my arm around her middle. Her gaze bounces up to mine, and I brace her nape in my palm. Her lips part. Then I can’t resist dipping my head and taking her mouth with my own.
If I had any doubt our chemistry would be incendiary, I put that to rest the instant our lips meet. They’re sweet and silky, pouty and yielding. They ignite an instant spark that burns through my blood.
I jerk her closer and nudge my way into her mouth, plunging inside to taste her. Amanda stiffens and gasps. Shit, she’s going to slap me across the face and fire me. But no. She grabs my shoulders, presses her body against mine, and opens to me completely.
Oh, holy fuck. This woman is burning me alive—and I don’t give a damn.
I fist her hair and press deeper into her mouth to drink in more of her sweetness. My hand suddenly takes on a life of its own, sliding from her waist, down the small of her back, to squeeze her pert ass and tuck her snugly against my aching cock.
I want her. Now. Sooner than now. I’m going to lose my damn mind before I get inside her. And it makes no sense. I’ve had my fair share of sex over the last couple of decades. I know how it usually feels and how I typically react to a woman. But this? I’ve never, ever felt this belly-lit, thought-crushing pleasure in my life. Until Amanda.
Is she with me?
I tear my lips away and stare down at her suddenly flushed face and slick, rosy lips. “Mandy? Say something, baby.”
She’s breathing hard, blinking at me, mouth agape. Finally she swallows. “What was that?”
“Something I couldn’t stop. I’ll apologize if you want me to, but I’ll be lying.”
“We already agreed getting involved would be a terrible idea.” She steps back.
I’m suddenly transfixed at the sight of her nipples stabbing the front of her nightgown. Yeah, I got to her. “We did. But I’m starting to wonder if this attraction is stronger than us.”
For a long minute, she says nothing. The only sounds I hear are Oliver’s cartoon at our feet and her choppy breathing. She glances into my eyes, then her gaze drops to my lips. My heart lurches. Is she going to kiss me again?
“I’m not interested in just sex. I can’t be.”
“I’m not, either. Whatever’s between us feels like more.” Because I don’t just want to take Amanda to bed, I want to see her protected and happy. Loved. And I can’t see anyone else giving her that but me.
Yeah, I’ve lost my mind.
Instantly, she shakes her head. “No. I’ve been down this road, in a relationship with someone so wrong for me because the attraction felt too overpowering to resist. It doesn’t lead anywhere good.”
“That was Barclay. Don’t compare me to him.”
“That’s not what I mean. I’m saying the pull between us—this hot, this strong, this quick—it’s a lie. We have no future. I have a son to raise. You have a divorce to finalize. You don’t know where you’re living. I don’t know where I’m living, either. I have no money, no job. And as far as I can tell, neither do you.”
“We can figure that out together.”
“Are you listening to yourself? How can you want me for anything beyond sex?” She tosses her hands in the air. “You’ve barely known me half a day.”
Her father has underestimated Amanda. She’s learned from her mistake with Barclay. She’s trying to be logical and adult and make the most rational decision for herself and her son going forward.
And I’m dying for her to throw caution to the wind and let me do more than protect her.
“Maybe because I’ve been around the block enough to know that what we have is more than just attraction.”
“I don’t know if I can trust you—or any man—again.”
“How do you know you can’t? Are you going to spend the rest of your life alone? Are you going to deny what I can tell you’re feeling”—I press a thumb over her pounding pulse—“because you’re afraid?”
“It’s not that simple. I have more than myself to think about.”
She’s right. And she’s afraid that she’ll let herself be carried away by her feelings again. So while
