“Oh, that’s a relief,” he says, putting his Aston Martin in gear and hitting the gas just as my door slams behind me. I hardly click my seatbelt into place before we’re halfway down the drive and my back is crashing into the soft leather of the passenger seat.
“You’ve got no idea,” I tell him.
He reaches down between us and hits a few buttons, rolling the windows down and blasting music through the car. "You're in a good mood this morning," I comment, finding his steering wheel drum solo and carefree attitude refreshing after the bullshit weekend I've suffered through.
Milo shrugs his shoulders and glances over at me for the shortest second but it’s enough to see the sparkle hitting his eyes. “Out with it,” I tell him. “What happened?”
His lips press into a tight line and I watch his inner battle to keep his mouth shut over the excruciating need to tell someone what’s been going on. “Fuck. Okay,” he finally says after the shortest pause. “I fucked around with Jess again last night.”
“WHAT?” I screech, slamming my hand down between us and adjusting the volume. I need to hear every little word of this and I need to make sure I hear it right. “What do you mean you fucked around with Jess? What happened to your big declaration of eating dicks for breakfast, lunch, and dinner?”
Milo’s hands flap around on the steering wheel, the frustration in his actions loud and clear. “I don’t fucking know. I do love that. I love it so hard, but Jess …” A dreamy look appears in his eyes before his lips twist into an odd smirk. “You know she does this thing with her tongue that—”
“Okaaaay,” I cut him off before he can get too descriptive. “That’s more than enough information out of you.”
He lets out a heavy sigh, and I glance back at him. “I think you’re right,” he tells me, almost sounding disappointed. “I think I’m bi. All this time I’ve been so certain that I was just into dudes. I didn't stop to consider that chicks could do it for me too. Though … I don’t know. It’s not quite the same thrill that I get from being with a guy. I definitely prefer dick to a tight vag.”
I stare across at him, wondering how my day can go from talking about murdering a rapist with Colton to going over a pros and cons list with Milo and trying to work out his sexual preferences all before 9 am. “Well then, maybe it’s just Jess that has a little something special. I mean, she kinda walks like a dude and has oddly broad shoulders for a girl.”
Milo rolls his eyes. “I don’t know,” he says, seriously confused about what’s going on with himself. “No, I … I don’t know. Maybe I am just gay but like to fuck around with her for fun.”
“Maybe,” I say. “Do you get hard at the thought of fucking me?” His eyes bug out of his head and he gapes at me in horror. “No,” I snap, cutting off his bullshit response before it can come streaming from between his lips. “Just think about it before jumping to your go-to horrified rejections. Really think about it.”
Milo’s lips bunch up and he glances out through the windshield, watching the traffic as he drives. “I, um …” he starts, really thinking about his response. He shakes his head. “No, don’t take this the wrong way, you’re fucking bomb. I’ve never met a sexier chick with the hottest fucking body. I’m sure guys all over the world are dreaming about giving you a cream pie, but no … just no. I couldn’t. I can't. Vaginas are just so … ugh. They’re fucking weird. I mean, they’re not remotely sexy.”
I roll my eyes, skipping over that last comment because fuck him, my vagina is so fucking sexy that I’d turn lez for it if I could. After all, I’ve fucked it more than anyone else has, but I’m not about to tell him that. Though after Colton walked in on me in my bedroom that one time, I’m pretty sure that’s not such a big secret. I look back up at Milo and raise a brow. “So, they’re not sexy but you’ll fuck Jess?”
Milo groans low, his emotions all over the place. “What the fuck is wrong with me? Am I fucking sick?”
“No,” I laugh. “There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just confused. Why do you even need to define it? Who cares what you are. You like dicks but every now and then, the right pussy comes along and you don’t mind fucking that too. Who cares? Just go with it.”
“Just go with it?” he questions, dumbfounded.
I roll my hand out like a wave. “Just go with.”
“That easy, huh?”
“So fucking easy.”
“Fine,” he finally agrees, relaxing heavily against his seat as he steers his Aston Martin toward my fancy new private school for girls. “I’ll just go with it. From now on, I dip my fingers into both pies.”
“That’s the spirit.”
“But I’m not going crazy,” he warns. “I’m not about to do a Charlie and start fucking everything with a pulse. I’ll stick to the blueberry pie but occasionally take a bite of a cherry pie. You know, if it’s on offer.”
I shake my head, wondering if he used blueberry and cherry as metaphors but realize that this is Milo I’m talking to and of course, it was intentional. “You know, sometimes I wonder what it’d be like living inside your mind. It’d be an interesting place.”
“Oh, you don't know the half of
