She huffs once again and just like that, she’s gone. The door gets slammed and by the time I turn back around, Laurelle is nowhere to be seen.
Chapter 8
My feet dangle in the warmth of the heated pool as the afternoon sun shines down on my face. It’s so damn relaxing out here. Any other time, I’d be loving it, but the emotions welling inside of me from tearing open the fresh scars is all too much to deal with.
It’s as though I was on some kind of emotional roller coaster ride. I went up and hit it hard when the adrenaline started pumping and now I’m coming down the other side, crashing and burning into a pile of nothingness.
I lean back against the polished concrete flooring and swirl my legs through the water. I’ve been sitting out here for nearly an hour. I was hoping that the peace and quiet in the fresh air would help me to store the memories away again, and lock the box, never to be looked at again, but it hasn’t. If anything, it’s only reminded me just how many fucked up issues I have right now, but what’s worse, I miss Nic.
I miss all my boys and I hate being apart from them. I hate that I can’t just call them and tell them to suck my dick. I hate that there’s a dark cloud that hovers above my head every time I think of them. I hate the secrets. I hate the lies.
I want to hate them … but I can’t.
“You look like you’re thinking too much,” Colton says from behind me. I crane my neck to look up at him and see nothing but concern etched across his handsome face.
He drops down behind me with a leg on either side of mine. My back rests against his chest as his arms circles my waist, holding me close. I don’t know how it’s possible to fit so perfectly with someone, but when it comes to me and Colton, it just works.
“Is it that obvious?”
Colton scoffs and spreads his fingers wide on my stomach, claiming as much of me as he possibly can. “Melissa hadn’t even cleared the bottom step before you ran out of there like your ass was on fire. Spence and I figured you wanted to be alone, but I can’t take it anymore. I tried to give you some space …”
I relax into his chest and close my eyes, soaking up every last bit of sunlight. “It’s okay. It’s actually better now that you’re here. I was starting to work myself up yet somehow you show up and my brain goes to mush.”
“Of course it does,” he laughs. “Because I’m fucking awesome. Irri-fucking-sistable.”
“And not at all cocky.”
“Not at all,” he agrees. “I don’t know where you’d ever get that idea.”
I can’t help but laugh as I nudge my elbow back into his stomach. His lips come down on my forehead, so soft and gentle. “In all seriousness, Jade. How are you? Do you want me to go and leave you alone?”
I shake my head. “No, please don’t go. I’m just … processing.”
“Do I need to be worried?”
“No, I’m good,” I tell him. “I guess I just wasn’t expecting to have to talk about it today, especially in front of those two. I wasn’t mentally prepared, but it’s over and I think I feel better for letting it out.”
“Think?”
“Think.”
“Okay,” he murmurs, running his fingers through my hair. “But you know now that they both know, word is going to spread and eventually the rumors will get twisted?”
“I know,” I tell him. “I can handle rumors.”
“Can you though? It’s one thing when someone is spreading lies about you, but what about when it’s the truth? What are you going to do when someone gets in your face and calls you a liar, saying exactly what Melissa just said to you?”
I shake my head and let out a heavy sigh. “I … I honestly don’t know. Up until now, when shit like this has gone down, I've had the Widows at my back and no one was brave enough to say a damn word. As much as I want to say that I’ll be fine, I just … I don’t know. This place is forcing me to stand on my own two feet. It’s one thing acting tough when you have a wall of muscle at your back, but now it’s just me.”
“It’s never just you,” he whispers. “I’m right fucking here, Jade. I won’t let them touch you.”
I look up to meet his eyes and see the intense honesty staring back at me, it’s nearly enough to cripple me. “I know,” I tell him. “I like you there, but I don’t want you having to fight my battles. I want to stand at your side, not cower behind you. I want to be your equal. Hell, if I’m going to be sticking around in this town, I’m going to have to learn how to protect myself.”
“I don’t think you need protection,” he says with a soft smile. “After seeing you handle my mom and Melissa, you can take down a fucking army. You never needed the Widows to handle things for you, you handle shit perfectly on your own.”
“You know,” I say. “You didn’t have to defend me like that to your mom. I don’t want to be the reason shit goes south between you.”
“Shit went south between us a long time ago,” he explains. “Mom left and she took my sisters with her. She didn’t care about fighting for me, she just gave me up to my dad so as far as I’m concerned, there’s no relationship between us worth