The look on her face as she waited for me to respond was like nothing I had ever seen before. My heart ached, feeling like it’d been torn in two. I wanted to be supportive and spring into action. I wanted to be the role model for her she needed, but I couldn’t. Not in those moments. Not when my future was suddenly up against the wall.
I drew in a quick breath, trying to calm myself. The air around us began to settle, dirt from the cars caked on my face, and when I wiped my eyes, trying to clear my vision of the scene before me, it scrapped against my skin. No. This wasn’t happening. Caden was fine. My husband was fine.
I couldn’t stand here and wait. I had to do something. I had to get to Rager. Shifting my weight, I pushed the kids toward my mom and Hayden. “I’m going down there.”
“I’ve got the kids, Arie.” Mom held up her hand, her phone in her palm. “Take Kinsley down with you.”
Kinsley started undoing the straps of the baby carrier and handed Grace off to Hayden. “What’s happening? Are they okay? Why haven’t they gotten them out yet?”
I kissed the top of each kids head and stared at my mom, waiting for an answer. “Why?”
“They’re calling in a CareFlight,” Mom whispered, her eyes darting from the kids at our feet to me, waiting on our reactions.
No. God no. This couldn’t be happening. Not to us. Not again. “F-For who?” I stuttered, tears stinging my eyes.
“Both,” Mom whispered.
Kinsley stared back at me in horror. “What does that mean? Why would they call in a lifeline?”
Mom snapped into action. “Hayden and I will take the kids to the motor home. You two go.”
I couldn’t answer her. Or maybe it was that I didn’t want to. Grabbing Kinsley’s hand, I motioned with a nod toward the track. “Let’s go.”
DOWN IN THE pits, everything was quiet, all fearing the worst. Lane, Tommy, and all the other crew keys stood in silence, looking to Dad as to what we did next. They’d call the race as is.
“How’d he look?” I asked Lane, who looked pale and ready to throw up as he loaded the mule into the back of the hauler.
There had never been a moment in my life when I’d been more scared, desperate for answers. I pictured Rager’s face in my head, the image of him on the ground this morning, playing with the boys.
Please, God. Don’t take him from us. I’m begging you.
Lane ran a shaky hand through his hair. “He wasn’t conscious, Arie.” He swallowed, emotion building. His entire body was shaking, and I realized right then, I’d never seen Lane like this. So… nervous. “They said they’re taking them to Miami Valley.”
“Okay, well…” I breathed in, though it felt constricted, my eyes darting around the pits and the thick cloud of dust the helicopter had left stirring. “What about Caden? Did he say anything? Was he awake?”
Zac, who’d been the closest to Caden’s car, looked at me, Kinsley, and shook his head. He either knew and didn’t want to say, or didn’t.
Kinsley was nearing a panic attack and I realized she still had the baby in the pack. I don’t know what happened, but in the commotion, she hadn’t given Grace over to Hayden like I thought she had. “I’m freaking out.” Kinsley sobbed, gasping for breaths. “Is he okay? Where are they going to take him?”
Axel leaned close in my ear, his voice shaking. “It’s bad” was all he said to me as we exchanged a look. Zac had his arms around Kinsley, trying to soothe her, but nothing was working. I knew I had to do something more for her.
I turned to Axel. “Get Lily and take the baby from Kinsley.” I reached for her, instinctively aware this was her first time in a position like this, and wrapped my arms around her. “My dad is going to get us to the hospital, and we’ll take it from there, okay?”
She nodded, her eyes so wide and tears falling, but no words. It was then it dawned on me while my entire family was here, Kinsley and Caden didn’t have that. They traveled by themselves with their baby. His mom lived in California and Kinsley’s parents in Oregon. They hadn’t seen them since the start of the season when we were on the West Coast. And now her phone call to them tonight wouldn’t be a “hey, he won again.”
Mom met us in the pits. “Hayden has the kids with her. We’ll keep them with us until we know more.”
Dad nodded to Mom. “I’m taking the girls with me and heading to the hospital.” The roar of the helicopters began to drown out his voice as he held my mom close to him, kissing her lips once. “I’ll keep you posted. Lane, Tommy!” Dad yelled. “Get the haulers out of here and back to the hotel.”
Everything burst to life around us at my dad’s voice. They loaded up the cars without another word and Dad took Kinsley and me into Dayton. Nothing was said the entire drive.
It was on the drive I realized that I had two responsibilities tonight. My husband, and my job. By the time we reached the hospital, both Rager and Caden were already being treated. We found out quickly that Rager was in surgery for a head trauma and Caden the same. The severity of either was unknown.
Immediately, a crowd had gathered outside the emergency room. Everyone wanted to know what was going on. I didn’t know what to say.
Between the drive and the arrival, I called Alley to see what I needed to do. “What do I say?” I hadn’t dealt with this yet and had no idea how to word any of it with the press. My entire body broke out in a cold sweat and I cried with tears
