I cried. I’m not afraid to admit it. I did. Right there in front of everyone, my body shook with tears. I’d prayed, begged, did anything I could think to will this kid into being able to walk again. And though he wasn’t walking, and might not ever race again, this was something we never imagined when we heard the word paralyzed back in May. “I love you, man.”
He laughed, emotional himself nodded to the car. “You better because Kinsley’s gonna have your balls after this next part.”
“What part?”
He lifted his hand, holding onto me with the other on the unstable track surface. “Strap me to that wing. I’m serious.”
“Okay, that’s enough for one night. You’re scaring me.” Kinsley helped him back into his chair.
Caden frowned. “No way. Take me for a ride.”
I motioned to the pits. “The two-seaters here.” I regretted the words the minute they came out of my mouth because I knew he’d want to and I also knew the wives wanted to junk punch me for suggesting it.
“I have a race interview to do.” I stepped away from them and to Jerry who was waiting to interview me. He laughed, knowing I was avoiding the argument I knew was about to happen about me suggesting it.
While I did a couple interviews, Jameson and Axel joked around with Caden and the girls. I held Knox in one arm and Pace in the other. They clung to my shoulders and while it was hard to do interviews with them, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Back in the pits after victory lane, Caden hadn’t forgotten about the two-seater ride. “I’ll take you out,” I told him, winking at Kinsley, as if I was trying to get permission.
Arie, who was clinging to my side, buried her face in my shoulder, breathing in. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
I looked to Caden who was all for it. “Someone get me a helmet.”
I don’t know how it happened, or how we convinced Arie and Kinsley it was a good idea, but with the help of the crew guys and Jameson, we got Caden in the back of the two-seater sprint car.
“You ready bud?”
He laughed, fidgeting with the neck brace until it was comfortable for him. “I think so.”
His eyes were so bright with excitement I hadn’t seen since he won the Kings Royale last year. Calistoga was his home track and to be able to be out on it again would probably make his world.
So I took him for a ride. We cleared it with the track officials, people filmed it and I was sure it would be on the news. I wouldn’t read or watch any of it because nothing compared to the actual feeling of having him in that car with me. I took it easy and cruised around the first lap when he said, “Come on now,” in the radio we had between us. “I know you got more in you.”
As I came into turn three on our second lap, I threw it hard—sliding with ease through the ruts, feathering the throttle for control. Pushing the car to the cushion through the corners, I ran the high line where I knew he wanted to be.
I had no idea what was going inside his head as he was completely quiet on the radio. I ran five laps and decided it was enough. The entire time, Caden said nothing. It wasn’t until we were out of the car that he stood leaning against it and brought his hands to his face.
I stepped closer to him. “You okay?”
Tears were in his eyes as he wrapped his arms around me again. “You have no idea what that meant to me.”
And I cried for the second time tonight.
Arie made her way over to me as Jameson and Kinsley helped Caden back into his chair. “You made that kids night.”
I turned to look at her and smiled. “You made my life.”
She drew her bottom lip into her mouth and bite down, her cheeks pink, eyes glowing under the pit lights. All my favorite memories I have of this girl is under the orange glow of a track and dirt clinging to her skin. For some reason, I thought about all the times we’d been here before, the two of us in the pits after a race, struggling to find meaning in our relationship that had very much formed on the cushion. Up high where we were out of control and holding out hope the top keeps its grip.
In the background amongst the fans and crew guys celebrating the win with us, I could hear the faint rumblings of “Bad Boys” playing in my hauler. Lane grinned and handed me a beer. “You earned this one.”
I took the beer from him, keeping one arm around Arie. “Don’t drink too much,” she told me when I refused to allow an inch of space between us.
“Why?” Keeping one eye on her, I cracked the beer open with one hand and then took a drink. “Got something in mind for later?”
“I got a hotel room for us. Mom is going to watch the kids.”
“Let’s go now.”
She held onto my forearms. “There’s time for that later.” Her eyes moved to the pits where the guys were celebrating around me. “Let’s enjoy this.”
I was all for celebrating the win, but I wanted to be alone with Arie more than I cared about winning that night. One thing was certain.
With Arie beside me, I became aware of the fact that we’d been apart for too long. Every look, every touch and every sigh told me so. I could practically smell her arousal and it did nothing for my attention to the ones around me. I wanted my wife. Alone. I didn’t think I could take much more when her eyes would meet mine, and slowly travel down my body, stopping at all the places I
