“We are work colleagues and nothing more.”
I'd repeated them under my breath in the crowded elevator.
I focused on them, shoving aside any other thought, as I walked with dread and fear and anxiousness toward my desk.
“The other night did not happen and will not happen again.”
I could get through these next few weeks with Michael; I could send his faxes, filter his emails, prepare his documents, fetch his signatures, pick up his lunches, set up his phone calls, organise his schedule. I could separate Mr O'Sullivan from Michael, from the man in the Wicklow mountains, from the father of my daughter. I could do what was best for myself, what was best for Zara.
“You do not have a daughter.”
I was ready to say all of this, or rather as ready as I was ever going to be, when I turned the corner to Michael's office and slowed when I found Harry Princeton sitting on the edge of my desk, waiting for me. He stood promptly when he saw me approaching and clasped his hands behind his back.
"Ah, Ms Miller," he said, "I need to speak with you."
I glanced nervously over his shoulder at the closed door of Michael's office. Had he gotten me fired again after what happened between us?
"Good morning, Mr Princeton," I said apprehensively, hesitating to set down my briefcase should I just have to pick it up again to walk back out.
Harry inclined his head to me, clearly agitated and distracted. "I'm sorry for the abruptness of all of this, but…"
I was going to be fired again. Michael, the coward, didn't even have the balls to do the dirty deed himself. At first didn't hear what Harry said, I was glaring so hard at the closed office door. A frown played at my lips as I drew my attention back to him.
"I'm sorry?"
"Yes, I know, it baffles me slightly as well," Harry said, taking off his glasses only to put them back on. "But we'll set everything up for remote communication and there shouldn't be too many hang ups. I suppose it's not our place to question his judgement."
"Remote communication?" I echoed.
My eyes darted again toward the closed door, but this time with a frown of confusion.
"Figuring out the time difference between here and Dublin will of course be the most difficult aspect, but we'll manage somehow, I suppose," Harry said.
"Michael's in Dublin?" I asked, heart starting to race.
Harry checked his watch.
"I'd imagine he's arrived," he said. "Though I haven't heard confirmation, so maybe he's still in transit."
I shook my head; I wasn't sure whether I was confused because I didn't understand or because I didn't want to understand.
"I'm sorry, Mr Princeton," I said. "You said Michael left?"
Harry nodded. "Saturday morning, I believe."
I stared with wide, unseeing eyes at Harry's face as his lips moved. But I barely heard him as my thoughts spun faster and faster. Michael was gone? He wasn't coming back? He was gone?
How could he be gone?
"You don't mind, do you?"
I blinked and shook my head as if to unclog water from my ears when I finally noticed Harry had stopped talking and was staring at me as if awaiting a response.
"Sorry," I said, dragging my fingers through my hair. "What did you ask?"
"Taking your old position?" Harry said. "You're alright returning to it now that Michael no longer requires your services here in Denver?"
I nodded, still finding words difficult in my current state of shock.
"We'll keep your rate of pay, of course," Harry continued.
"That's very generous, sir."
I was speaking as if on auto-pilot. My eyes stared into the distance, not able to focus on Harry, let alone anything else. Harry smiled and nodded.
"Alright then," he said. "You'll find your old cubicle prepared for you once you gather up your things."
I nodded again.
"Good."
Harry nodded too and went to move past me, only to hesitate, pause, and lay a kind hand on my shoulder.
"Please don't think it has anything to do with you, Ms Miller," he said. "Alright?"
I managed to meet his eyes and force a weak smile. "Okay," I practically croaked out.
Harry didn't need to know that it was quite the opposite; I was at the very heart of Michael's unscheduled and hasty departure.
"Good," Harry repeated and then he left me alone, standing by myself in the hallway outside Michael's office.
I stared at the closed office door, still not quite believing that he was not behind it, that he would not be behind it ever again. Tears that surprised and angered me pricked at my eyes. I moved quickly to my desk to distract myself with packing my things before they threatened to fall.
I wasn't sure I could stop them once those floodgates burst.
Someone from HR had left a cardboard box on the floor next to my desk, and I used it to load everything up to transfer back to my old cubicle. I focused on item by item: stapler, sticky notes, yellow, orange, pink, filing folders, calendar, highlighters, pens, pencils, one by painstaking one.
Why the hell was I upset? I swiped at a rogue tear rolling down my cheek. What the fuck was wrong with me? This was the best case scenario for me. How could my aching heart not see that? I should have been rejoicing, not crying.
Michael was gone. Zara was safe from ever running into him again. I still had my job, and I was keeping my higher salary. I'd gotten everything I'd
