Neither of us said a single word as we lay facing each other on the bed, the springs moaning loudly in protest. Our faces were inches from each other and for a moment of racing hearts and hesitant breaths, we just looked into each other's eyes. Abbi laid her hand against my cheek, and I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. There was almost something frightened about our motions.
I thought that it was because each of us saw this as more than just fucking, more than even making love, if that's what you call it. This was daring time itself. We were challenging the very universe. With our silent bodies we were screaming to the world that we could change the past, with our hands alone we were saying we could mould steel.
We were back in that motel in Ireland, up in the mountains, and we were going to change the outcome of our Fates.
Abbi's thumb ran across my lips as her eyes traced their curves. She was memorising me, as if my body was a map that would lead her back to me. When her eyes shifted up to mine, I saw her lip tremble. I wondered if she could see in my own eyes that I was scared, too.
Abbi moved tenderly to keep the mattress subdued as she swung her knee over my hips and shifted so she was on top of me. Her damp hair fell to curtain our faces as her breasts brushed against my chest; gone was even the faint yellow light from the parking lot, and yet in that intimate space, I could see every flutter of her eyelashes as she guided my cock between her legs.
My fingers dug deep into the flesh of Abbi's back to keep myself from groaning at the sensation of being inside of her once again. My chest stuttered and I struggled to keep my heartrate under control as Abbi stilled herself atop me. She looked down at me and we saw the truth in each other's eyes: this was a leaping off point. We were about to step out into the open air together. There was no turning back.
Abbi's lips parted in a silent gasp as I slid my hands to her hips and rocked her back and forth on my cock. We had to keep silent to not wake Zara in the next room. Abbi slipped her arms around my head and buried her mouth in the crook of my neck. I bit down on my bottom lip to keep quiet as our chests slid against one another's, slick with sweat from the unmoving air.
I pulled Abbi closer, and closer still wasn't close enough. I wanted more of her, I thought as our breathing grew more and more uneven. I wanted the years I missed, the years I let wither like a wild rose without water. An almost unbearable anguish filled my chest as my fingers started to shake on her glistening skin. Abbi raised her head and rested her forehead against mine, as if sensing my pain.
Her fingers reached for mine as I felt her thighs tense, her muscles twitching. Abbi squeezed my hand like it was a lifeline and placed her lips against mine to mute her screams as she came. She sagged against my chest, fingers still interlaced with mine, and it only took a few more erratic thrusts to follow soon after.
Abbi and I held each other for a long time, neither moving, both barely breathing.
Finally Abbi whispered, "I better go."
But when she went to drag herself off me, I kept hold of her hand.
"Stay," I whispered. "Stay just for a little while."
We ended up staying up all night, Abbi cradled in my arms against my chest, whispering into the dark. We hid our giggles in pillows and relearned the lines of each other’s bodies with our fingers like two lovers meeting for the first time; there was that same excitement, that same exhilaration, that same certainty that everything was beautiful, magical, perfect. We were still wide awake when the yellow light between the parted curtains changed from the parking lot lamps to the pale rising sun. It was only when we had to shield our eyes from the dazzling golden light that Abbi finally pulled herself from me.
"I don't want Zara to wake up alone," she said, leaning over and kissing me with a smile. "We'll find a way to tell her the right way."
I nodded but pulled her back for one more kiss. She stumbled and fell back against me. We laughed and kissed. We'd done it, we'd really done it: we'd rewritten the past. Dawn had come, golden and shining instead of raining and grey. And I was here. I was still here.
"We'll head to your dad's place after breakfast, okay?" Abbi whispered as she tugged back on her t-shirt and panties.
She paused by the adjoining door and glanced back at me. I smiled and nodded despite the sudden knot in my stomach. It was like a rain cloud gathering on the horizon when the day was perfectly clear.
"Okay, bye," Abbi whispered, biting her bottom lip as she grinned irresistibly.
I mustered a smile myself. "Bye."
Abbi slipped back into her room with Zara as quietly as she had entered hours before. I sat on the edge of the bed and dragged my hands through my hair. The prospect of seeing my father for the first time in all these years, the actual reality of it
