I took a deep breath, letting the feeling of loss wash through me, not cling like oil. I continued to surprise myself. Thinking of my mom and dad was no longer the swirling vortex it had been. I missed them, but something had shifted. The weirdest thing was that my breakthrough had been when I chose to face my grief head-on, embracing it. Crying worked. Not the shameful snatches of despair that pushed me into a fog—those only seemed to cause more harm—but honest, thoughtful mourning.
Even my dreams had shifted. Creepy ones still popped up now and again, but the last one I’d had was really sweet. It was simple, all sound muted but for the steady clack of my mother’s heels. We were walking down some hallway in a building I couldn’t remember. And I was holding her hand. The feeling, though, that was what made it remarkable. The pure trust I had in her suffused everything.
I woke weeping, but even that felt good, like a summer rain that comes at night, filling your dreams with its whispered presence.
That same feeling of trust had begun to extend in new directions, too. I wasn’t broken, not any longer, and already my heart was trying to regrow. Madi and Shin, and even in-game people like Alysand and Selna, had shown me that family did not hold any exclusive rights to love.
I giggled as Elendil continued to fret over logistics, but I felt like exploring this world again, reacquainting myself with all that I’d missed.
No better way to do so than to read the two messages from the best people I knew. I read Shin’s first.
From @ShinToeBro44: “Yo! Good news on many fronts. First off, I got a phone call! Whhhaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!!
Yep, Mei called me, without my parents knowing, which means I am a total genius. And… we are still best friends! I should have trusted her more. My parents had done exactly what we’d thought. Told her to cut me off or they’d strip me of all inheritance and formally excommunicate my butt.
I solved the problem by filing the appropriate paperwork with my lawyer. I am no longer legally their son and have given up all claim to their sacred funds.
Two big things are happening soon. First, Mei is coming to live with me! She just turned 16, so has the authority to do what she wants now. We’re getting a condo downtown together, well away from any of my parents’ many haunts, and it will even be decked out with the latest EO pods. Two, I have paid the necessary fees, grieved over my uber nerfed and gutted avatar, but am excited to tell you that I will be playing in your mode and realm!
You’re my home slice Hana, so I don’t want to play EO without you. Let me know the next time you are online, and I’ll meet you in-game. I’m kind of a newbie again, so some help gaining some levels would be appreciated, but I left my guild and want to join yours! You do have a guild, right?
Hmm… Oh, and three (yeah, I know I said it was only two) I wanted to ask you something else totally nuts. What would you say if I asked you to move in with us? I have been chatting with Mei like non-stop, and she agreed, it would be really fun to have an otaku, gamer, commune type of vibe.
Our condo is huge, and we could easily add another Eternal Online pod. Now I am picturing you freaking out, thinking about how much money that would all cost, but you just don’t understand. Mei and I have plenty. This is nothing really.
Anyway, bombs have all been dropped. Freak out, go through a mini life crisis, then let me know what you think. Later!”
Shin had been right, of course. My heart had been doing somersaults in my chest as I read his email. What a jerk! And, I had to admit, the idea of fighting alongside Shin, and even living with him and his sister sounded fun. But what he didn’t understand was that not everybody grew up rich enough to buy an island.
I had a lot to consider, so I decided not to answer immediately. He could wait, and I hoped the suspense would twist his insides like he’d done to mine. After everything he’d just dropped on me, he deserved it.
So I moved on, trying to let some of the adrenaline dissipate with a few even breaths, and brought up Madi’s email.
From @Morena_BadAxe: “Hey nerd. How you feeling after the siege? I still can’t believe that we didn’t all die! Glad too. Just can’t imagine what would happen if they’d have taken poor Quinn. Dude is like my abuelo but less tipsy, and, you know, still alive. Anyway, I’m gonna try to remember what it’s like to be logged off and be a person, at least for a couple days.
The idea of being out of the game for so long makes me want to scream, but it also gave me an idea. I want nothing less than to come off as a weirdo, but I like you Hana. Like like you. You are my friend, of course, and I’m not sure if I’m alone in this (if so, just freaking ignore me okay, and we can pretend everything is normal again), but I was hoping that tomorrow maybe, if you’re free, we could have a video chat? Maybe stream a movie together? Hell if I know, but I want to see you.
I know you’re a few hundred miles away Hana, Dahlia (what do you want me to call you in the real world?), but this is me asking you out on a date. What do you say, girl? Wanna hang?”
My hands were shaking, and even
