It’s a painful reminder that I’m sick for wanting two men at once, for even acknowledging the one I’m not currently with. So I let him stain my skin with his insecurities, let them sink into my gut and bleed into my heart. I want them to dig into my flesh and paint my selfish heart with its black tar. I can only hope it’ll burn away the feelings I shouldn’t have and replace them with only the ones I should.
I see her before she sees me, taking a long drag of my cigarette while I watch her tuck her phone into the back pocket of her jean shorts. I smile to myself when she glances around to make sure no one is looking her way, pulling the back of her shorts from her ass like she’s getting rid of a wedgie. She turns and sees me then, sucking her lips between her teeth, her dimples winking at me with the look. Her cheeks turn pink as she realizes I saw her, the small shrug of her shoulders one of the cutest fucking things I’ve ever seen.
I snub out my cigarette, letting the smoke blow through my nose as she gets closer, my eyes glued to the way she moves. Even dressed in a cotton tee and stained denim shorts, she’s more beautiful than any other woman on earth.
“Why do you always do that? I don’t care if you smoke.”
She stops directly in front of me, hands tucked into her back pockets, her blush still painting her cheeks as she tries to pretend I didn’t see her.
“Because it’s rude, Laney Girl. Just because I don’t care about what smoking does to me, doesn’t mean I should force you to be around it.”
She rolls her eyes, one of her hands coming forward to push hair behind her ear. “That’s ridiculously chivalrous of you.”
“Are we going to pretend you didn’t just have your hand up your ass?” I laugh at her expression, snatching her arm when she tries to stomp away from me, lips pursed to hide her smile. Pulling her back flush with my front, I wrap an arm around her waist to keep her in place. “I’ve never been more jealous of a pair of panties.”
“Eww, Jessie! You’re sick.”
I press my lips against her ear, trying not to think about how her ass keeps rubbing on my dick. “I’ll give you twenty bucks for them.”
“Jessie!” I let her pull from me, laughing at how she swats my hands away from her. I only say this dumb shit because it makes her laugh, and fuck, I could live in that sound.
She frowns at me, one of her dimples giving away her smile. “When is everyone getting here for your sister’s party?”
“They’re here already, on the other side of the park.” Walking to a trash can not far from us, I throw my cigarette butt away, the coconut of Laney’s skin catching on the breeze to tease me.
“Oh, I left her present in the car. Walk with me to get it.” She grabs the back of my shirt, lightly tugging until I turn to follow her.
I love when she does that, grabs and touches me like I’m hers to push around. I wish she was always touching me, wrapped around me. She would be if Donatello hadn’t pulled rank and made me leave her in Alabama. Letting my sweet girl go just to fall back into that Bastardo will forever be my biggest regret, whether it was my choice or not. I said I had to leave before I fell for the girl with no heart to give, but I’d already fallen so fucking hard I couldn’t have made up a bigger lie.
Every second, every hour, every day I had to sit back and watch her crumble without me broke my fucking heart. He deliberately took me away, her only fucking support so that she’d have no choice but to run back to him. I should have been the one to help her. I should have been the one she found her solace in. Instead I was forced to watch the tragedy unfold, a horror show featuring my girl and there was absolutely fucking nothing I could do about it. I don’t know how she thinks Donatello knew to find her, or how she thinks he even got in the building, but that piece of shit never would have been her fucking white knight without me.
After the bar fight, I put men on him to find whatever dirt I could to fuck up his chances with my girl. And that’s exactly what I found. Although him and Laney were technically separated, I know the damage of knowing he was fucking his secretary would crush her anyway. But instead of just coming out and saying it, I need to be smart about it. I want Donatello Genovese to ruin himself. Lose the one thing he cares for more than life itself all on his own, because if he doesn’t, my Laney Girl will always wander back to him and I can’t have that. He’ll wreck himself and I’ll be here like always to collect the pieces, love my girl until she’s whole again and mine. Only mine. That and it feels damn good holding something over that fucker’s head.
I know I need to tell Laney I’m part of the Famiglia, but it needs to be the right time. I need her to know that despite my being planted in her university experience as a way for Capo Famiglia to watch her, my feelings are real, our friendship is real, my love for her is real. I need her to be confident that she knows the real me, so when she finds out, she won’t question us and our beginning. If I know anything about my girl, it is that she forgives too easily, and this is the one situation I plan on using that weakness to my advantage. The one and
