I shouldn’t be here. It’s the only thought in my head as I park on the gravel drive and walk toward the door. I didn’t tell Donatello I was coming. I’m just hoping he's gone and I don’t have to deal with him. I’m still not sure either because I didn’t park in the garage. I just need to run in and grab my schoolbooks and hurry out. That’s it.
Turning the handle, I quietly push the door open. I falsely imagine that if I’m quiet Donatello won’t hear me if he’s in here. As soon as the door is open, I lock eyes with him. He’s standing in the hallway wearing the same clothes as yesterday. The shadows under his eyes belaying how little sleep he’s gotten.
“I’m just here to get my books.”
He walks to me, crowding my space as I back into the door. His eyes run along my neck, undoubtedly seeing all of Jessie’s marks, but he doesn’t say anything. He just grabs the back of my head and pulls me into his chest. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
It rumbles against my ear, vibrating its sad song down to my toes. “You’re always sorry.”
I lightly push myself from him, walking around his big body toward the bedroom. I know he’s following me. I can feel his footsteps landing behind mine. He stands in the doorway watching me as I grab the books I need and I turn to face him, books in my arms. “Please move.”
He doesn’t move and I’m not all that surprised. Instead he walks to me and takes the books from my hands, setting them on the bed. “Stay with me tonight.” I start to shake my head and he stops me, grabbing my chin. “I don’t care who you were with last night. I know you don’t want to be here because of Olivia, but what about me Vita Mia? I just found out that I can’t have the other half of my soul because some walking pocket pussy claims to be having my baby. A baby I don’t want with a woman I will never want.”
“How will me staying here help you Donatello? It doesn’t change the facts of why I want to leave.”
“I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to have to sit here in the silence thinking about this shit.” He drops his hand but doesn’t step away. “This is just as much of a surprise for me as it is to you. I never would have thought this would happen. I never even thought it was a possibility.” He drops on the bed, head falling into his hands. “I know I should have told you about Olivia, but I already fucked up so much before that, that I didn’t want to. I honestly forgot it even happened until your fucking pup brought it up.”
I frown at his bowed head. Why would Jessie bring it up? “What do you mean he brought it up?”
He looks up from his hands, eyes running over me. “Jessie blackmailed me into keeping his ties to the Famiglia a secret by using her. He knew I was sleeping with her when we were on a break and knew it was something I’d prefer you didn’t know.”
Jessie knew about Olivia and he didn’t tell me. No wonder he wasn’t surprised when I told him about the pregnancy. He probably knew that also. Why wouldn’t they just tell me? My heart aches, angry and bitter. The two people I love most do nothing but lie and keep things from me. “Why didn’t you tell me Jessie was in the mafia before? In Alabama? Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“Sit with me and I’ll tell you.”
I close my eyes, rubbing my fingers over them. I don’t want to play games. I just want answers and to leave. “Donatello, I’m not in the mood for your games. Just tell me or I’m taking my books and leaving.”
“Delaney, sit with me.” His honey voice drips along my skin, coaxing me into his trap.
My legs are moving before I think to stop them, letting him grab me to settle between his legs, my back to his front. He wraps his arms around my waist, taking one of my hands in his to kiss my fingers. “Good girl.”
I sink into him, knowing this might be one of the last times I get him like this. In two months he’ll have a baby to worry about and another woman to figure out, and I know I won’t be any part of it. “Why didn’t you tell me about Jessie?”
His fingers brush the hair over my shoulder, his face sinking to rest against the crook of my neck. “He was there under orders from Remy. I couldn’t have just told you without compromising that, and it wasn’t my place to do so.”
It’s annoying to me how I’m basically in the Famiglia but because I don’t carry a gun or work the warehouses, I don’t get any of the benefits when it comes to knowledge. No one tells me anything and I’m fucking sick of it. I want that kind of power. I want to know things and to make decisions that matter. “Why did you join the Famiglia?”
He lets out a breath that warms my skin, his thumb brushing over the back of my hand. “It’s just what you do. My papa was a made man and I was surrounded with the lifestyle. My mama left us when I was five or six. I don’t actually remember, but it was just me and the old man.” His finger brushes over my tattoo that matches his, pausing his words. “The Famiglia is family to me. Sure we run drugs, counterfeits, blackmail millionaires and kill people, but we also help our own. No one goes hungry and no one goes without. You lose a family member you gain a hundred more. You work hard in the Famiglia and it pays off.
