So many maybes. And Carmen’s heart swelled with the realisation that Asa was the one thing in her life that was definite. He was her rock, her solid ground that kept her feet rooted when everything seemed to spin around her.
Warmth washed over her at the thought and a soft smile found its way on her face.
There was a loud knock on her bedroom door, causing Carmen to reach towards the speakers and turn down the volume of The Script resonating throughout her room.
Normally, she wasn’t the type to play music really loud but this evening she needed a distraction. Anything to drown out the rest of the world for the twenty-five minutes she took getting herself ready.
Walking towards the door of her room, she pulled it open and began to speak. “Dad, we still have time before we need to—”
Asa stood there instead, leaning sideways on the doorframe with a small smile on his face.
Carmen blinked repeatedly, trying to understand what her eyes were seeing.
“Asa? What even—how are you—wait—”
Asa rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the wall, standing up to his full height. “Am I allowed to come in?”
Carmen couldn’t speak; she could only stare at him with her mouth agape, so she just nodded wordlessly, stepping aside to let him in. She was about to shut the door when Asa stopped her.
“Don’t.” He shook his head. “Your Dad's orders. Leave the door open.”
Carmen flushed but obliged anyway, not wanting to push her dad’s buttons on the one day they needed to stick together more than ever.
“What are you doing here?” she asked in a bewildered tone. Nevertheless she was unable to help the pleased smile from forming on her face.
“You’re going to that Thanksgiving dinner,” he said, shrugging. “and I know I can’t be there with you tonight, but... I don’t know, just wanted to see you before you go.”
She felt a fist squeeze her chest painfully tight as his words registered in her head. “You’re here as moral support?” She tilted her head to the side, gazing at him with a tender expression.
His cheeks coloured ever so slightly, and he scratched the back of his neck. “Well, yeah, I mean... I know it’s not going to mean much when you’re actually there at that dinner, but—”
“It means the world that you dropped in to check on me, Asa,” Carmen murmured, stopping his train of thoughts.
He stopped fidgeting and shot her a relieved smile, before shrugging and seating himself on the edge of her bed.
Carmen shook her head to herself and moved towards the mirror, picking up her eyeliner and applying a thin coat of it. She could feel Asa’s eyes watching her but didn’t comment on it, feeling oddly comfortable with him in her room, on her bed. With Asa in there with her, the house felt more like a home than it had in the past few years. And the depth of that realisation, the implications behind it, and the way it emphasised on the intensity of her feelings for him terrified Carmen.
“You’re wearing a dress.” Asa observed and was surprised, trailing his eyes down her body.
“I try avoiding it when I can, but I just want tonight to go smoothly.” Carmen sighed, dropped the eyeliner on her dresser and evaluated her appearance. She’d adorned a deep burgundy dress, the kind that hugged her torso but flowed freely from her waist. “They’re all pretty—what’s the word?—aristocratic people. Don’t think they’d appreciate me showing up in a pair of skinny jeans and a bomber jacket.”
She met Asa’s eyes through the reflection in the mirror and watched his lips turn down into a frown.
“You’ve always had a huge heart,” he said. “But you’ve never been a doormat. You made that very clear when I took your journal when we met. Why on earth would you wear a dress if it’s not what you want?”
Carmen’s shoulders slumped. “It’s just a dress, Asa. If it helps me blend in and not stick out any more than I already do, I’d feel more comfortable.”
Asa stared at her for a couple more minutes before sighing in defeat and walking up to her, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.
“I just wish they could see you for you,” Asa murmured, resting his chin on her shoulder as they both stared at each other through their reflections. “You’re amazing as you are and shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable around people who supposed to be your family.”
Carmen’s hand reached up to ruffle the top of his hair. “I'm comfortable around you, Asa,” she told him quietly, her voice serious. “And you are family to me.”
The purely affectionate smile he offered her right then awoke butterflies in the pit of her stomach, and she felt their wings graze her insides as they took flight.
“I love you,” he said softly, turning his face to press his lips against the side of her head.
“I know,” she told him, searching his eyes with her own but finding nothing but sincerity there as he uttered the words. “And I love you too.”
He grinned at her response, pecking her cheek quickly before pulling away. “I’m gonna head home now, all right?”
“Wait, you didn’t tell me how you got Dad to let you come in here.” Carmen raised a brow.
Asa chuckled. “Just told him the truth. That I wanted to see you off because I knew you were nervous about the dinner.”
“Oh,” Carmen mumbled, feeling that familiar sense of warmth that only Asa could bring flood her insides.
“Yeah.” He yawned, bringing up his hand to cover his mouth. “Sorry, stayed up all night yesterday to finish this book and then got dragged out of my bed by Wyatt to go to the Thanksgiving football match this morning.”
Carmen laughed lightly. “I
