Carmen pushed herself off the truck and filled whatever space was left between them. “But if you decide to come back to me, if you decide to stay—” Her voice broke and she lifted a trembling hand to brush her cold fingertips against the length of his eyebrow. “Then I just want you to know that there’s always a place in my heart and my soul for you.”
Asa’s lips parted with a rushed breath tumbling out, his throat constricting painfully and his eyes feeling like there were a thousand needles stabbing it from the behind.
I’m still in love with you. Six words. How easy it would’ve been to let them fall past his lips. So, so easy.
And yet, Asa resisted. Self-preservation, he reminded himself. He needed to guard his heart, didn’t he? Not bolt it shut permanently, but protect it in what little ways he was capable of. He didn’t have to say the words, but he also owed it to himself to have this conversation, to finally just sit down and fill that distance between them with the words that were never spoken.
“Okay, Carmen,” he said then, a small smile of his own tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Okay.” He breathed, hearing the crack of thunder above them and closing his eyes shut as an unfamiliar feeling flooded through him, offering his body warmth during the heavy downpour.
“Tonight is yours,” he promised, grazing her cheekbone with his thumb. “So take it.”
And for the first time that night, Asa saw some of that storm inside her eyes give away to the calm.
Right then, right there, with the moon as their light and the rain as their only witness, the two of them took that leap of faith towards the idea that maybe, just maybe, it was okay to believe in soulmates.
63.
Through Your Eyes
Rain was still pouring down in torrents when they arrived at Carmen’s house.
Asa killed the truck’s engine, cutting off the usual soft roar of the vehicle and enveloping the two of them with a heavy silence instantly.
Biting the corner of her bottom lip and ignoring the weight of all the unsaid words pressing down on her chest, Carmen glanced at Asa. “Sorry about your truck,” she muttered, referring to both the driver and passenger seats that had absorbed the rainwater from their soaked clothes. “Your seats are ruined.”
“Nah.” Asa clicked his tongue, eyes flickering from the road ahead to the empty house beside them. “She’s been around for a long time now,” he said with an odd touch of warmth to his tone, patting the dashboard of the truck fondly. “Survived worse than a bit of rain.”
Carmen offered a small nod in acknowledgement, before folding her hands over her chest and rubbing her arms.
“You’re cold,” Asa commented.
“You did make us stand in the rain back there in the parking lot.”
“I recall you telling me it was just rain and proceeding to call me a wimp for not wanting to get drenched.”
“But I wasn’t the one who ended up drenching us,” Carmen pointed out, raising a brow. “That was all you.”
Asa’s eyes narrowed and he looked like he was about to shoot something back at that, but then seemed to have a change of mind. “I’m too cold to argue about this right now. Can we just go in already, please?”
Carmen suppressed a smug smile, and turned to open the door of the passenger seat, bracing herself for the pelting down of raindrops the second time that night as she made a dash for her house.
“I’m definitely going to catch a cold after tonight,” she heard Asa exhale loudly from behind her, having reached the porch steps at the same time as Carmen.
“Would be worth it.” The words slipped out of Carmen’s mouth with a light laugh before she realised it. Her hand suddenly paused in its act of unlocking her front door and she raised her chin to meet Asa’s eyes.
He was already looking at her.
“It is,” he told her, voice soft yet serious.
Carmen’s heart skipped another beat that night. Or maybe it was several beats. She couldn’t keep track anymore. Averting her gaze, she focused on unlocking the door and letting themselves in.
Once they’d entered her house and she let the door swing shut behind them, Carmen sighed. “I already feel warmer now that we’re indoors.” She lifted a hand to wipe away all the stray droplets of water on her face before running her palm over her head and pushing back all the wet strands of hair. She was dragging her palm back down over her cheeks, when her eyes suddenly made contact with Asa’s.
Carmen froze momentarily, taking in the fact that he was watching her wordlessly, with an unreadable look on his face. “What?” she asked softly, the corners of her mouth twitching.
Asa pressed his lips together and slowly shook his head.
Carmen observed him for a few more seconds before her eyes dropped to his torso, noticing how the soaking wet material of Asa’s button-down clung to his body like a second skin, stretching over his broad shoulders and down the defined planes of his chest.
“You probably need to change,” Carmen said quietly, silently praying that her voice was as steady as she wanted it to be.
“I do,” he said matter-of-factly. “It’s starting to feel uncomfortable. Not to mention, cold.”
“Right.” Carmen cleared her throat, blinking twice and tearing her eyes away. “Right, of course. Uh, you —you can follow me up. There’s probably something of Dad’s you can wear.” She turned towards the direction
