“Because the minute you call yourself what they label you, you give them the power to destroy you. So, don’t,” she said firmly. “Besides, this school and this city aren’t the rest of the world. It doesn’t even cover half of this world. There’s still so much to see, so much to do. Once you’re done with senior year and leave, this will all be just some bad memory.”
Isla didn’t say anything for a while, but after a few moments, she eventually sighed and looked up at Carmen. “Thanks.” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “For both the drawings and just you being you. But I’ve got to get going now. I’m co-captain, can’t keep my girls waiting.”
Carmen wanted to say more—she felt like she should be saying more—but she heard the tone of finality in Isla’s voice. It clearly said she was done talking about it, and so Carmen didn’t try stopping Isla as she rose from the bench and walked away.
Maybe some people didn’t want to be saved.
•••
The final bell rang, its shrill and sharp sound piercing the silence in the classroom and making Carmen wince. She’d never gotten used to the sound, and it still made her want to cover her ears.
Gathering her books from her desk, she slipped on her shoulder bag over her arm and headed out of the classroom, joining the stream of enthusiastic students pouring into the hallways. She was just about to turn into one of the corridors, when a firm hand wrapped around her forearm and yanked her back to a corner of the hallway, out of the way of the bustling students.
The first thing her body registered was that it wasn’t Asa’s hand. The second thing was irrational fear, a sudden overwhelming need to scream, but before she could act on her sudden spark of terror, her eyes landed on the person responsible for her mini heart attack.
“Hunter!” she gasped, all the fear leaving her in an instant. “You idiot,” she muttered angrily, pulling her arm away from his grasp. “You scared—”
“Tell me you’re not coming to the dinner,” he said, cutting right to the chase.
Something inside Carmen deflated at his words, and it only made her angry at herself for holding onto the hope that things between them might change for the better. She felt like a pathetic little girl who don’t know how to admit defeat when she’d already lost to this world ages ago.
“I could tell you that, but then I’d be lying,” she muttered, a bitter edge to her voice that was completely uncharacteristic of her. But Hunter had a way of bringing out the loathing she buried deep inside her. She couldn’t decide if suppressing it made her weak and hypocritical, or if letting it out of its hiding place would make her seem less like the calm and forgiving person she was seen as.
It was the calm and forgiving part of her that Asa was in love with, right? He hadn’t seen her loathing, hadn’t seen the parts of her she wished she didn’t have to bury because she’d rather they not exist at all.
Hunter made a frustrated noise at the back of his throat, something between a growl and a sigh. Or maybe it was a suppressed swear word. Carmen couldn’t tell.
“Do you go looking for misery?” he asked her then, impatience very much evident in his tone.
She narrowed her eyes at him. “I’m going because if it’s an opportunity to reconnect with my family, then I’m going to take the chance.”
“Your family.” He scoffed. “Family? Family doesn’t bring you down. They don’t rip you to shreds. Which is what we’ve done to you in the past, so I don’t get why you would accept Aunt Beatrix’s invitation!”
Carmen ran both her palms down her face, feeling the agitation crawl up her nerves. “Hunter, what do you want from me?” she snapped, losing every ounce of patience she had when it came to him.
He clenched his jaw so hard that Carmen genuinely wondered if he wasn’t hurting his teeth with the gesture.
“I want you to decline the invitation,” he finally said, looking past her shoulder and into the distance. His expression was free of anger now and was back to being blank, and his voice bordered on robotic. His entire demeanour was simply devoid of any emotion. “Call Aunt Bea and tell her you can’t make it.”
Even after all this time, his hatred for her ran deep. So deep, in fact, that he was here, asking her to not come to a place that he was going to be in just because he didn’t want to acknowledge her existence.
“I can’t do that, Hunter,” she said, her voice hardening with disappointment and anguish towards the boy she’d once known, the boy who’d once been the closest figure to a brother that she’d had.
“Why not?” he bit out through gritted teeth.
“Because they’re not just my mum’s people, they’re also my dad’s family. The family he married into! He might not say it, but I know he misses them.” Carmen hauled her bag higher up her shoulder, feeling the strap dig into the skin of her neck. “Bottom line, I’m going to that dinner. So deal with it, Hunter. And if you’re disgusted by my presence so much, then don’t come.”
Hunter swore under his breath and yanked at his hair, his emotionless facade breaking as the annoyance, anger and something else that Carmen couldn’t identify played across his features.
“I’m not going to be there,” he told her.
That stung more than she’d have liked to admit. “Fine,” Carmen mumbled, unable to mask the wounded tone in her voice. “Suit yourself.”
“No no.” He shook his head in an almost frantic manner. “You don’t understand. I’m saying I’m not going to be there. As in, the
